how do i help my husband and his benzo addiction?

[KiKi Love]

im new here, and i was just wondering how to help my husband with his benzo addiction. He has been taking them for anxiety for a few months now, and started to slightly abuse them, he was also trying to ease his high levels of anxiety. he is trying to cut back and taper himself off them after he realized his high dependency tot his poison, but now hes going through withdrawls, violent outburts, he takes a nap from be exhausted yet wakes up agitated and its gotten to the point where i dread him taking a nap and worry of whats to come when he awakes..i dont know where to start in trying to help him.. what should i do??

 

[purplefirefly]

He needs a doctor, plain and simple. Benzo withdrawals can cause seizures along with the other symptoms you've seen. Benzo addiction is nothing to fool around with.

You can't really help him at all if he doesn't want to help himself. When you say "violent outbursts" do you mean that he's violent towards you? If he is then you need to kick his ass out, you are not a punching bag for a problem he has created. If he has anxiety then he should talk to a doctor about it. I have never in my life seen "self medicating" actually work. If anything it gives the person internal permission to spiral out of control and hurt those around them.

Please be safe and get out of the situation if you are physically or psychologically being abused.

 

[KiKi Love]

he almost seems bi polar.hes up n down in moods . its just little things can trigger this hostility in him or any other emotion distress hes feeling. Sometimes hes ok other times hes freaking out. He hasnt been taking them lately and he really wants to get off these. And hes warned me these symptoms will happen and to try to bare with him. Which i do, it just gets frustrating. Hes a great guy when hes not on them. Its just he grew this dependecy and wants to taper now. Its hard cause he feels as if im not supporting him, which is understandable cause i have a short fuse, but i get overwhelmed cause i dont know how to help.i feel the same way about self medication, with pills at least. Im more of a natural healing than anything

 

[purplefirefly]

What reasons does he have exactly when he says you're not supportive? It sounds like he's been treating you like crap but you're the one who is supposed to bare with him and just take it all the time? You shouldn't have to deal with a loose canon every day of your life, indefinitely. Life is way too short.

How long have the violent outbursts been going on? He doesn't seem the type to speak to a doctor or he wouldn't have been self medicating to begin with. Hopefully he can make the changes he needs in order to get clean.
You didn't create the situation that he's in and honestly, he has no one to blame but himself. Yes, as a wife you should have compassion and be caring but you can't fix this for him. He has no right to be angry at you. He's the only one in the entire world who can help himself.

 

[pofacedhoe]

what does the violent outbursts refer to? is he hitting you? because no withdrawal justifies that and you dont have to take that kind of behaviour from anyone. i wouldn't stay with a violent partner. its a massive giant no no.

i had a short (3-4 months of daily use) benzo addiction after a year or two of regular non daily use.
the withdrawals went on for ages and i was really aggitated/anxious/angry and over emotional but in time it passed. high dose benzo withdrawal is dangerous but people have tapered off them before. i switchced to lyrica and it really helped but that could create another addiction in your husband.

it will take time. as long as he tapers he should be fine but it will be shit for a good few months/longer depending in how much he was taking and for how long.


nasty nasty drugs in my experience and i would never take them again and i take opiates once in a while with a previous addiction but its manageable while benzo withdrawl is fucking awful. it felt like my brain was on fire.

no drug problem justifies violence. lots of people have addictions and dont hit their partners

 

[atara]

The most important thing you can do, for both of you, is to admit that there really isn't anything you can do. Beyond, well, ordinary relationship stuff, you're not a therapist and romantic partners tend to make crappy therapists. There is CRAFT:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_Reinforcement_Approach_and_Family_Training

Benzodiazepine withdrawal this severe generally requires medical intervention.

nasty nasty drugs in my experience and i would never take them again and i take opiates once in a while with a previous addiction but its manageable while benzo withdrawl is fucking awful. it felt like my brain was on fire.

no drug problem justifies violence. lots of people have addictions and dont hit their partners

^^