How do I get him to open up?

[TarheelLady4Life]

I have been with my fiancé for years, and our relationship is great. But I know there's things in the bedroom that he's into.... yet he won't open up to me sexually. I'm a very open-minded person and I've never once judged him on anything from his past. I just want to be the one he feels most comfortable and confident with. Is there a good way to bring about this conversation? The one thing i know we both agree on is that we're not into sharing each other.... but i'd love for him to feel comfortable watching porn with me or incorporating toys for both of us. I am very sexual, he's closeted about his (bc of past relationships). I don't wanna push him into anything uncomfortable, but i want him to know he can be himself entirely and I'll still love him and want him as much as i do now. I just want to make him feel good and to know that i love him no matter what. I would do anything to satisfy him. How do i start this process? Help please!

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

Get him drunk or dose him with MDMA. :D

No, don't do that. Well, a couple drinks doesn't hurt to get things moving along, especially wine, that's perfect. Maybe try having a romantic evening planned with him, tell him you want to have a bonding experience with him, that you want to explore each other, and discover something new and exciting because you've been together so long, you love him so much, and you want to keep the spark alive. You say you've been together for years, and when that happens, some things can become routine or you can start to feel like you know everything about your partner, and there's nothing left to explore. That is NEVER the truth though! There's always new things to discover about your SO. If he can't be receptive to this, or shuts down, then there is a way deeper issue that may require counseling.

Good luck!

 

[Durzo1258]

Getting him drunk or on drugs is only going to work if you drink / take the drugs with him. It's not like we guys don't know what's cooking when a woman pours as a double and sticks to water herself. Maybe what he wants is far of the regular menu. But that may not work, I for example need a lot of alcohol before I get to the point of unfiltered talking, not many people can keep up.

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

If my lady had a whole romantic evening set up and she poured me a strong drink and had water herself, I'd be preparing myself for the "I'm pregnant" talk...

I'm talking they have some wine together, ya doof. And not get shit housed, I mean just grease the wheels a bit...

 

[Durzo1258]

If he's engaged for two years and still doesn't open up glass of wine is not going to solve that.

 

[BiG StroOnZ]

I think first you should both have a therapeutic dosage of MDMA around 100-200mg orally and you can have a nice conversation about it all. Incorporate some mixed drinks or wine, something decent tasting, and that will loosen up conversation. Then eventually you can have a good love making session on it afterwards. However, while you are under the influence of the MDMA you will notice that conversation will come more smoothly and you will be able to speak more thoroughly since MDMA is an amphetamine this typically happens. You will eventually notice that he opens up to you, so I would combine the MDMA with some Moscato. Make sure you pick up some Cannabis because this will add a psychedelic element to the experience which will help him open up to you even more and also extend the duration of the experience. I would prefer it to be an Indica because if it is a Sativa you might be overwhelmed. You will want to make love all night after the bottle of Moscato is finished and the puffing of the Cannabis will allow you to have more brainstorming together of what you want to do with him and should allow him to be open minded. But do realize to take the Cannabis in small doses because it will potentiate everything together and the experience will be seriously heightened.

This trial experience will allow you to have a much better second or third experience a few weeks later which afterwards the day after will be great. There should be a great aura to everything, so you will understand better after it occurs.

Good luck!

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

I think first you should both have a therapeutic dosage of MDMA around 100-200mg orally and you can have a nice conversation about it all. Incorporate some mixed drinks or wine, something decent tasting, and that will loosen up conversation. Then eventually you can have a good love making session on it afterwards. However, while you are under the influence of the MDMA you will notice that conversation will come more smoothly and you will be able to speak more thoroughly since MDMA is an amphetamine this typically happens. You will eventually notice that he opens up to you, so I would combine the MDMA with some Moscato. Make sure you pick up some Cannabis because this will add a psychedelic element to the experience which will help him open up to you even more and also extend the duration of the experience. I would prefer it to be an Indica because if it is a Sativa you might be overwhelmed. You will want to make love all night after the bottle of Moscato is finished and the puffing of the Cannabis will allow you to have more brainstorming together of what you want to do with him and should allow him to be open minded. But do realize to take the Cannabis in small doses because it will potentiate everything together and the experience will be seriously heightened.

This trial experience will allow you to have a much better second or third experience a few weeks later which afterwards the day after will be great. There should be a great aura to everything, so you will understand better after it occurs.

Good luck!

While you describe a great fun night for partners, I don't think this is ideal for what she's trying to accomplish here. He may look back at the experience, simply blame his openness on the drugs, and close back up again. She needs him to naturally feel like it's ok to open up to her. A casual glass of wine isn't going to cause him to feel like he only opened up because he was drunk, either. As long as you guys keep the drinks to moderation and don't get sloshed, or make it all ABOUT the drinking, then I think you'll get get some help accomplishing what you're looking for.

 

[BiG StroOnZ]

While you describe a great fun night for partners, I don't think this is ideal for what she's trying to accomplish here. He may look back at the experience, simply blame his openness on the drugs, and close back up again. She needs him to naturally feel like it's ok to open up to her. A casual glass of wine isn't going to cause him to feel like he only opened up because he was drunk, either. As long as you guys keep the drinks to moderation and don't get sloshed, or make it all ABOUT the drinking, then I think you'll get get some help accomplishing what you're looking for.

MDMA was used in the past to treat PTSD, and many other disorders so it's very likely in the right setting with his girlfriend that he can have a great eye and mind opening experience.

Check out the special on the news about MDMA in my Second Youtube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/user/SonnyV23/playlists

 

[Zopoidsix]

Hello! I'm new to this whole thing so correct me if I step over boundaries, but I would like to say I am in the shoes of your fiance right now and I can definitely try to answer some of your questions. First of all. Watching porn together never works out in the long run :/ ime.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Maybe he's not a very exploratory person when it comes to sex? Or just likes certain things sexually, and would be described as being "vanilla"? Maybe he doesn't want to watch porn before or while having sex, since he's having sex with you? Some people don't like sex toys and don't want to use them.

Drinking wine, taking MDMA/MDA, and other drugs are not going to help. You know him the best, when you have talked to him about this what did he say or do?