Last Saturday I tried LSD for the first time, and ever since I've been a little off. I've been all over the place mentally and it's kinda starting to get to me.
The first couple hours hours of the trip was hilarious, my friend and I were telling jokes and laughing at everything, as well as walking around his house and recounting all the memories that we've had in the rooms we'd walk into. I should also mention the friend who's idea it had been to do LSD left us after about half an hour of taking it. Once it got to 3 in the morning, we headed upstairs to lay down in separate rooms while my friend played music. I noticed at some point that the music had stopped and my thoughts started to swirl. I was in a dark room and started freaking out, inside my own head, not out loud. I got up, turned the lights on, paced, nothing could help me from thinking that I'd never return to normal. I went to talk to my friend about it but he was alseep and I didn't want to wake him so I kept pacing and freaking myself out. I eventually woke him up and told him I was freaking out and that I felt as if I wouldn't be able to return to normal. He wasn't really much help, so we called my other friend, who told me I'd be fine after we woke up. I've since talked to both of them, one having done it multiple times before this occasion, and the other, whose house I slept over, was his first time using LSD as well. Both of us smoked weed while the trip was happening, if that makes a difference.
Its since been a week and 3 days and I'm still feeling off, scaring myself out of sleeping and into thinking I have all sorts of things wrong, from anxiety to derealization, and it's probably because I've been reading too far into the internet and I'm a natural over thinker so the combination isn't the best. I'm still a little scared, and I'm wondering if I should go see a doctor. I've read stories since the incident of people returning to normal, stating that all I need is to sleep, eat and maybe excercise a little. I'm just afraid that my irrational thinking has led to me creating more problems than I had before. The whole derealization thing has scared the absolute shit out of me and I know I probably don't have it, being that I'm not a doctor and I've been looking things up on the internet, but it's still a scary thought. I also kind of feel like I'm scaring myself into believing some of the things I've read, being an 18 year old over thinker. I've kind of been over analyzing things since that night, and I did it before but I'm more aware of it now. I guess the question is, is letting time build up the chemicals in my brain again the answer, or is there something else.
If anyone has any insight on what to do, or even if you've felt the same way and gotten through it, I would love to hear it because I feel as if I could use it right now. Also, I should add that this is the only time I've ever done acid, and to be quite honest with you, this is most likely the last. Thank you for any help you guys can give me, I really really appreciate it.
Tons of people have done LSD, I've done LSD (and a bunch of other psychedelics) hundreds of times, days in a row, in really high doses... you always come back. Some of my best trips have had periods of time feeling terrified and thinking I would never return to normal. But I always have, and so did you. Right now your brain is focused on "oh no what if I damaged myself" so you're feeling anxiety and discomfort. If you instead focus on "hey that was kinda freaky but I came down, time to move on", you'll be right as rain. You're fine now, the drug has worn off. You never have to do it again if you don't want to. Just focus on your life, do things you enjoy doing, do normal things. LSD ramatically changes the way you think temporarily which is why I love it, but it's not something everyone enjoys. It can make things feel a little strange afterwards but it's all about how you frame the experience. LSD doesn't damage you, it is physically among the safest of all known drugs (safer than tylenol even, physically). You're fine, before long things will seem totally normal again, unless you lose yourself in worry about it. The same is true of anything, some people develop an irrational obsession with the thought of being sick and end up derailing their lives. Some people experience something traumatic and develop anxiety disorders. Whereas some people don't. The mind is a powerful thing, you can create any reality for yourself that you choose. Don't let anxiety take hold.
