I never thought that this would ever, ever happen to me. I've tried to deny it to myself, but I've finally come to a conclusion that I am addicted to Adderall. And it is pretty severe. I allow myself 7 pills a week, one for each day, which is what I am prescribed to do. However, I usually end up taking all 7 within the first couple of days. I give the rest to my friend to ensure I don't go over that amount in a week, but I think it still has left devastating effects on me. My memory is completely shot. The days I don't take Adderall, I won't want to do a thing. I'll wake up exhausted, I don't get anything accomplished, I just sit around and eat all day. My head feels so cloudy, I'm confused often and I feel as if I'm going insane. My life has turned into going day-to-day waiting for that next Adderall, and I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of only being productive on the days I have Adderall. The thing is, I can't just stop. Getting a prescription every month is bad enough, but now they just prescribed me an additional 15mg a day, which I take the 7 I allow myself weekly fairly quickly as well. I know it's damaging my body, I know it's terrible for me and my health, and it's no way to live. But I fear what life would be like if I didn't have Adderall. I'd just sit around on the couch all day. I'm too embarrassed to ask for help, and soon I'm just going to go overboard. This is definitely not the drug for me and I wish I had never been prescribed it. I can't believe that they prescribe this drug, especially to children, considering how I've let my life become a living hell. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, I'm scared to continue living like this, but I'm scared to live without Adderall as well.
