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Mental Health How come I calm down and my mood changes when I punch myself hard in the head

Speed King

Speed King

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 7, 2014
Messages
6,074
Location
Orando, Florida
Hi folks. When I get super mad, I pound my head hard multiple times with my fists. I only do this once in a while. I figure, I cant do it to someone else, so I take it out on me. Things I notice. Sometimes my vision flashes from how hard I hit myself. Sometimes it automatically changes my mood, and calms me down. It totally changes my thinking also. IDoes anyone have anything to help explain what's happening
 
Truthfully I'm not sure, but I can tell you that I find myself doing the same thing, which is obviously a bad idea! For me it's like a coping mechanism when a horrible thought, image or feeling comes in to my head - usually accompanied by anger!
I've tried to stop but the problem is it can be very impulsive IME, also would pull my hair out, scratch etc. I know this isn't much help to explain what is happening but I'm also interested to hear of anyone else's experience/knowledge on the matter. I'm sorry you feel this sometimes - it's a horrible feeling!

Edit: crunchyplanets that's a better way to explain the feeling - frustration. I do the ice thing sometimes, it works well!
 
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Honestly, i think your getting your frustration out. I used to bite myself, hit myself, burn myself with cigarettes, and cut myself. When i was angry or sad, and boy did it help. I recently found a safe way to hurt myself, and this may or may not sound stupid, but holding ice to my skin. It helps. The coldness takes away the anger and sadness. I will say this though, it is NEVER okay to hurt yourself. You can really do damage pounding on yourself like that. You should seek a counselor to help you through this.

Im not a doctor. I think hurting myself to get rid of intense emotions goes back to growing up in an abusive household. I watched my father beat my mother for years, my brother used to hurt me. I think that is why i rationalize hurting myself, i grew up with it and its not ok.

I wish you the best <3
 
I guess it is a bad coping mechanism. I am seeing a psych doctor, and she knows about it. We talked and after trial and error, I started taking Risperdal. I was up at 2 mgs but I found it too emotionally blunting, so without telling them, I slowly came off it. Its really not that bad compared to some of the other drugs in its class.
I truly believe that its a bad behavior that I can just change. I would rather cope correctly.
 
Speed King said:
I guess it is a bad coping mechanism. I am seeing a psych doctor, and she knows about it. We talked and after trial and error, I started taking Risperdal. I was up at 2 mgs but I found it too emotionally blunting, so without telling them, I slowly came off it. Its really not that bad compared to some of the other drugs in its class.
I truly believe that its a bad behavior that I can just change. I would rather cope correctly.
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That's great that you feel you can change it! That made my day.

Will your psych doctor help you with better coping mechanisms? Or are they only a med doctor? There are better coping mechanisms out there, and the docs do know a bunch. Good luck to you hun <3
 
Smiley91 said:
Edit: crunchyplanets that's a better way to explain the feeling - frustration. I do the ice thing sometimes, it works well!
Click to expand...

Thank you. Its funny how I found it actually. Someone told me that they think i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. So i decided to watch a documentary about it on youtube, and people with BPD do self harm so the counselors told them to hold ice to their skin.

And i was thinking "oh man, what a great idea. " sick minded i feel i am, because through the whole thing on BPD, that's the only thing that stuck in my mind. Haha.
 
Yes. I strongly believe that a learned behavior can be unlearned. Thank you all, epically crunchyplanets. I'm glad I made your day :). The doctors help, but they are mainly there for medicine. I had to make a decision that I don't want to express my frustration that way any more.
 
crunchyplanets said:
Thank you. Its funny how I found it actually. Someone told me that they think i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. So i decided to watch a documentary about it on youtube, and people with BPD do self harm so the counselors told them to hold ice to their skin.

And i was thinking "oh man, what a great idea. " sick minded i feel i am, because through the whole thing on BPD, that's the only thing that stuck in my mind. Haha.
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I see the numbing effect. I don't know if that is what I was suppose to get from that.
 
http://www.thesite.org/mental-health/self-harm/self-harm-coping-tips-and-distractions-5696.html


There's a site with alternatives. I like the pain with ice, but i did read somewhere that frostbite could set in if you hold it too long. 5 minutes does the trick for me, on the opposite side of my wrist. But that website does have some good tips, IMO. I know you weren't cutting, but they mention other things like flicking a rubber band. I may try that sometime actually at work when someone peeves me off. Ha!
 
I would guess it's somewhat similar to people who cut themselves. My little sister cuts and says the sting is a release for her and for that tiny window of time she says she finds peace. Idk it's not my cup of tea, but it seems similar.
 
Cliffy78 said:
I would guess it's somewhat similar to people who cut themselves. My little sister cuts and says the sting is a release for her and for that tiny window of time she says she finds peace. Idk it's not my cup of tea, but it seems similar.
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That's really good that it's not your cup of tea. Self mutilation can be dangerous. Have you tried to help your sister seek better alternatives? She's right though, the stinging can get rid of all the anger and sadness, for me, almost in an instant. I stopped cutting because im 26 now, have a daughter and don't want her to grow up and see i did it and think it's ok. (Scarring ). I never went too deep, but i do have scars, didn't feel like adding more to the bunch.

Maybe you can try to show your little sister that website? I hope im not prying. I just worry for people .
 
I aint a psychologist but there may be some sort of psychological reasoning behind it. If you can notice a pattern of when and why you are angry (triggers) each time it happens maybe that could help? For example, I have noticed that I am less anxious when I'm not around a certain person in my life and hitting myself only happens as a result of some sort of situation involving said person. Therefore, now I know a little better how to best avoid resorting to violence on myself. - at least the overwhelmingly raging "spur of the moment" type, still a work in progress and probably just jinxed myself there!

I can relate to what you are saying about not wanting to take it out on other people and you are scared you might if you don't punch something etc (I went through a phase of taking my frustration out on others) But I'm glad to hear you are going to try show yourself the same respect as others and find better ways to cope. Good luck pal :)
 
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I didn't mean to make light of anyone's situation, I apoligize if it you took it that way, that was not my intention. My lil sis has her drs and meds, I've tried to talk to her about it but Idk. I guess she's like me with my opiate usage, I don't wanna hear shit about it, that's what keeps me from blowing my brains out so as long as it's working then fuck it. I'm think she feels the same way about her cutting.
 
It's cool, your just trying to look out and that's a good thing, thank you.
 
Hey Speed King, I am now many, many years past self-harm (cutting) but I do remember the release it gave me, then of course followed by shame and confusion. I honestly did nothing to change the behavior specifically but did everything in my power to change my life through changing the way I thought about myself. For a long time I was too embarrassed about having ever done that to speak openly about it but then I realized that was something that I also could grow from. Convincing myself that I needed secrets was very isolating. Learning to trust a very untrustworthy world is a delicate dance. You have to keep both your eyes and your heart open which is incredibly harder than it may sound!;)
 
Man lay off the speed if your still on it. Get a fucking heavy bag or hell take up boxing if you wanna punch someone legally. I was never a self harmer but when i was younger i had a real quick temper which often landed me in scraps and i sure as shit got the scars and lawyer fees to show for that. I know what it's like to want to just get all that anger out and it fucking sucks feeling like your about 1 second away from breaking someones jaw. But fucking seriously don't be knocking yourself in the head cause concussions are no fun.
 
I really take all these replies to heart. I have no desire to harm myself even if frustrated out of my mind. In the past few weeks I have had some spiritual experiences, with and without drugs, that gave my spirit a release of pain, that calmed me down. I'll be honest, I have beat myself very bad in the head, where I'm sure I gave myself a concussion. But what would of happened if at the peak of frustration, I tripped out on someone.
The point to that is I never did that and never will.
I had to discover and still develop a way to cope without drugs.
 
I used to buy big cigars and burn myself with them. I think I was on the wrong medication, in retrospect. I don't hurt myself these days, but I also think it's important to say that I never hurt myself before being put on certain medications.

I can't imagine a more destructive self-harm than hurting one's head. As my fellow mod said, it would be prudent to find a more constructive way to take out your frustration. Going for a jog, or even sprinting for as long as you can--until you're well out of breath, would be a helpful way to get out some energy and anger. I wouldn't recommend you hitting something that can hit back, though. Boxing is a pretty dangerous sport. I don't even think you need a punching bag, just a pillow. But I'm pretty sure that if you hit something when you're mad, even if it's an inanimate object, research shows that it sets you up to be more violent in general.

Another idea might be to do a bunch of crunches/sit-ups or push-ups when you feel that intense anger.

Apart from exercising when you feel like hurting something, talking with someone to get to the core of the issue would help. Therapy is woefully underutilized by the mentally ill because it takes work. It's so much easier to pop a pill and, so I've heard at least one person say to me, say that their disorder is biological, and that talk-therapy can't help.

Talking about one's problems can be very painful. But exposing what's really going on is really the only way to change behavior to an ideal extent.
 
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