So I have been feeling quite worried, depressed and concerned about a few things recently, I smoked some heroin and now I feel less fed up. I expect to feel worse as a consequence soon with some of this arising from lambasting myself for using again and the associated guilt and shame.
While I am unlikely to start a pattern of more frequent use, I have been using heroin no more than once every few weeks or months for the last few years following a long break of seven years, I recognise that I am generally happier and stronger without any use of it. My attachment to heroin stems from the belief that there may be some protective effect in terms of alleviating suffering now and that should be enough of a benefit to do some good sometimes although of course there is generally a longer more drawn out opposite effect to follow. Buy now, pay later, which is why I would be better off not to, considering my history of depression and anxiety.
It is a dangerous game, a slippery slope, more pain to gain and so on but with modest and infrequent use the typical harms of an opiate are proportionally small. However, with such moderate and infrequent use it is the mental harm caused by association with the drug that is most harmful. This accentuates the tendency towards morbidity, secrecy, isolation and depression. I am not recommending this drug to myself or anyone else, just looking for perspectives on this pattern of use on somebody with depression.
While I am unlikely to start a pattern of more frequent use, I have been using heroin no more than once every few weeks or months for the last few years following a long break of seven years, I recognise that I am generally happier and stronger without any use of it. My attachment to heroin stems from the belief that there may be some protective effect in terms of alleviating suffering now and that should be enough of a benefit to do some good sometimes although of course there is generally a longer more drawn out opposite effect to follow. Buy now, pay later, which is why I would be better off not to, considering my history of depression and anxiety.
It is a dangerous game, a slippery slope, more pain to gain and so on but with modest and infrequent use the typical harms of an opiate are proportionally small. However, with such moderate and infrequent use it is the mental harm caused by association with the drug that is most harmful. This accentuates the tendency towards morbidity, secrecy, isolation and depression. I am not recommending this drug to myself or anyone else, just looking for perspectives on this pattern of use on somebody with depression.