MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
PLease help if you can! I wasn't sure if I should post this here or in legal or second opinion so move if you need to, I'm sorry.
I need help for a friend.
He and I have been living together for awhile, we were/are sorta still in a relationship but are kind of splitting apart and going our seperate ways now, but thats another story. For this I'll just call him my friend, because he is.
We have lived here for about 7 months now. When we moved here (about 30 minutes away from where we both lived before), my friend took primary custody of his son. Prior to our move, he and his son's mother lived in the same apartment complex, and they shared custody (one week on, one week off). This was not a legal set up. They just agreed to this, which is not good I know, the whole time I felt like they should have had a legal set up in case anything happens. My friends son is four years old, turning five in July.
Well usually the boys mother takes him from friday night til sunday afternoon. She has not fought this arrangement at all, and often times seems to have some bullshit excuse why she cannot take him. She didn't have a job for a year or so and is a disgusting waste of life, seriously don't even get me started, it seems her daily three packs of cigarettes are more important to her than her little boy.
Well at one point, some bullshit happened where she dropped her son off at a babysitters (during the weekend, when she was SUPPOSED to be visiting with him) and abandoned him there. My friend ended up getting a call at like ten o clock at night telling him to come get his son because this bitch wasn't coming back. So he did, and when he did he talked to the babysitter (a friend of HERS) and another friend of hers. They BOTH told him about the shit that has been going on, including but not limited to:
1)That day the reason she left was to go with her boyfriend to run drugs to someone in the prison.
2)she has been DRUGGING the boy up with overdoses of benedryl so she can "handle him". She claims he has "allergies". He has never had a problem at our house.
3)she apparantly gets wasted on hard alcohol and pills when she is supposed to be watching him.
4)She doesn't feed him adquate meals
5)There have been more than one instances of him getting hurt and she has not cleaned his cuts or taken care of him
6) One weekened where she had him for four days because it was a holiday, he came back and told us she hadn't had him brush his teeth the entire time.
These are just a few of the things. Well after that my friend took the boy and refused to give him back. This went on for two weeks and during that time he has gone and met with a laywer to try and begin the fight for custody. The lawyer recomended that he GIVE the boy back to his mother for the weekends because he said taking him and never letting her see him could be used against him.
So right now he is in the process of getting the paternity test, and going through a long long process of paperwork to take her to court for custody.
Okay. That's the first half (God bless you if you keep reading).
Well A week or two ago, he got two things in the mail. The first, was his tax return. It was basically a slip of paper saying that his return had been taken to pay his back child support. We were like WHAT? Child support?? I was like "That has to be a mistake." Then he gets what is supposed to be his six hundred dollar stimulus check. Same thing. All six hundred taken to pay back child support.
So he goes to the child support office and they tell him that THIS FUCKING BITCH, has been claiming welfare, claiming that SHE has had the little boy in her custody FULL time, the entire time we have lived here and he has been living with US five and a half days a week!!!!!
And I guess its automatic, when a mother claims welfare they go after the dad for child support.
Okay, it's not over. SO he goes to the welfare office and tells them whats going on, and they basically shrug him off and tell him there is nothing they can do. The head of investigations ACTUALLY SAID:
"We don't have time to go investigating every situation."
Now they are taking his wages, which means he is going to not be able to make rent here (he was moving out anyway but he doesn't have anywhere to go right now and WILL be homeless). He has lost over a thousand dollars already for child support for the CHILD THAT HE HAS TOTAL CUSTODY OF.
So after the welfare office blew him off his father went into a fit of fury and somehow got ahold of the district attourney. SHE is saying that he should NOT give the boy back to her (she is homeless right now anyway). I say the same thing. I don't trust her at all. One time he had a seizure when he got home from her house (of course, when I was the only one there with him, it was fucking frightening) and I just know it's because she drugged him with something. He used to come home from her house every time like a zombie, when he is normally a very active kid you can't get to shut up for anything.
I feel so upset for my friend. He is a good man and has done EVERYTHING for this little boy. She does nothing for him and he does everything. And now every penny of his earnings are gone. The six hundred dollar stimulus check was supposed to go for an out of town trip for his fifth birthday that had already been planned. This is crushing. I just want to cry for both of them.
Is there anything else we can do here? Isn't this welfare fraud on her part? Why won't they do anything about it? Please someone help, I want to help him so bad, I don't know what to do. ANY help would be very appreciated.
I need help for a friend.
He and I have been living together for awhile, we were/are sorta still in a relationship but are kind of splitting apart and going our seperate ways now, but thats another story. For this I'll just call him my friend, because he is.
We have lived here for about 7 months now. When we moved here (about 30 minutes away from where we both lived before), my friend took primary custody of his son. Prior to our move, he and his son's mother lived in the same apartment complex, and they shared custody (one week on, one week off). This was not a legal set up. They just agreed to this, which is not good I know, the whole time I felt like they should have had a legal set up in case anything happens. My friends son is four years old, turning five in July.
Well usually the boys mother takes him from friday night til sunday afternoon. She has not fought this arrangement at all, and often times seems to have some bullshit excuse why she cannot take him. She didn't have a job for a year or so and is a disgusting waste of life, seriously don't even get me started, it seems her daily three packs of cigarettes are more important to her than her little boy.
Well at one point, some bullshit happened where she dropped her son off at a babysitters (during the weekend, when she was SUPPOSED to be visiting with him) and abandoned him there. My friend ended up getting a call at like ten o clock at night telling him to come get his son because this bitch wasn't coming back. So he did, and when he did he talked to the babysitter (a friend of HERS) and another friend of hers. They BOTH told him about the shit that has been going on, including but not limited to:
1)That day the reason she left was to go with her boyfriend to run drugs to someone in the prison.
2)she has been DRUGGING the boy up with overdoses of benedryl so she can "handle him". She claims he has "allergies". He has never had a problem at our house.
3)she apparantly gets wasted on hard alcohol and pills when she is supposed to be watching him.
4)She doesn't feed him adquate meals
5)There have been more than one instances of him getting hurt and she has not cleaned his cuts or taken care of him
6) One weekened where she had him for four days because it was a holiday, he came back and told us she hadn't had him brush his teeth the entire time.
These are just a few of the things. Well after that my friend took the boy and refused to give him back. This went on for two weeks and during that time he has gone and met with a laywer to try and begin the fight for custody. The lawyer recomended that he GIVE the boy back to his mother for the weekends because he said taking him and never letting her see him could be used against him.
So right now he is in the process of getting the paternity test, and going through a long long process of paperwork to take her to court for custody.
Okay. That's the first half (God bless you if you keep reading).
Well A week or two ago, he got two things in the mail. The first, was his tax return. It was basically a slip of paper saying that his return had been taken to pay his back child support. We were like WHAT? Child support?? I was like "That has to be a mistake." Then he gets what is supposed to be his six hundred dollar stimulus check. Same thing. All six hundred taken to pay back child support.
So he goes to the child support office and they tell him that THIS FUCKING BITCH, has been claiming welfare, claiming that SHE has had the little boy in her custody FULL time, the entire time we have lived here and he has been living with US five and a half days a week!!!!!
And I guess its automatic, when a mother claims welfare they go after the dad for child support.
Okay, it's not over. SO he goes to the welfare office and tells them whats going on, and they basically shrug him off and tell him there is nothing they can do. The head of investigations ACTUALLY SAID:
"We don't have time to go investigating every situation."
Now they are taking his wages, which means he is going to not be able to make rent here (he was moving out anyway but he doesn't have anywhere to go right now and WILL be homeless). He has lost over a thousand dollars already for child support for the CHILD THAT HE HAS TOTAL CUSTODY OF.
So after the welfare office blew him off his father went into a fit of fury and somehow got ahold of the district attourney. SHE is saying that he should NOT give the boy back to her (she is homeless right now anyway). I say the same thing. I don't trust her at all. One time he had a seizure when he got home from her house (of course, when I was the only one there with him, it was fucking frightening) and I just know it's because she drugged him with something. He used to come home from her house every time like a zombie, when he is normally a very active kid you can't get to shut up for anything.
I feel so upset for my friend. He is a good man and has done EVERYTHING for this little boy. She does nothing for him and he does everything. And now every penny of his earnings are gone. The six hundred dollar stimulus check was supposed to go for an out of town trip for his fifth birthday that had already been planned. This is crushing. I just want to cry for both of them.
Is there anything else we can do here? Isn't this welfare fraud on her part? Why won't they do anything about it? Please someone help, I want to help him so bad, I don't know what to do. ANY help would be very appreciated.
Keep the faith 
