hormonal changes at end of amenorrhia?

[preoccupied]

i don't know where this goes but its really bugging me, i need to put it somewhere. also sorry for the tmi.

my period has come back after a long absence due to anorexia. i had spotting for a few months, for about a day each time, but now its back in the realms of requiring protection. i hated it. i felt disgusted, i thought i could smell it even straight after showering. i wanted to starve it away, i knew i could as last time i'd started to get spotting i'd semi relapsed for other reasons and it disappeared for another year. last month was back to very light spotting, but i feel like its properly here to stay, and hope i'm right as i don't want to relapse.

since this, i've really felt broody. i'm not going to try for a child. i need to get a stable job and be a distance from any severe mental health problems. when my periods stopped i reconciled myself with that fact by convincing myself i never wanted to give birth. is this a psychological trick i'm playing to accept the unpleasant physical reality of being a fertile female, or does it make sense hormonally?

will this go away? it is preoccupying me. i feel like my life isn't complete. that i need a child. that i need to get pregnant now otherwise i will lose my chance, though i'm not near the end of my child bearing years. knowing i should wait is tearing me up inside. i am in a stable relationship so wouldn't be a single mother but can barely look after myself most of the time. i don't even like the idea of the reality of it, the sleepless nights, the changes to my body, the loss of freedom, there's this overriding illogical thing in my head saying 'MAKE BABIES!'

i'm worried i will end up doing something stupid, risking my relationship in the process.

i am dreading my next period. before it was just disgust and self loathing. now it will be that and the absence of a child.

 

[ocean]

I totally understand this feeling.
For me it comes and goes......When it comes on, it comes on STRONG.
I call it 'baby fever' It's like there is nothing else that will make me feel complete.
It's this overwhelming feeling of NEED, to be a mother.
I'm sure hormones have a lot to do with it, though I'm not sure of how it all works.
Many women will start feeling this way in their early 20's and it will come and go.
I have noticed when I have not had a period for a bit of time, it does hit me a bit stronger when I do get my period.
It's something you might ask your Dr. about.

Sounds like you're not getting pregnant now and while the urge is there, the logical thinking is winning out
When you are ready to devote your life to a child, it should be when you are prepared with your entire self
I tell myself this as well

I think what you're feeling is normal- unfortunately I don't have any answers on how hormones work.
You may find some answers and support in places like Second Opinion , Sex, Love, and Relationships and Healthy Living, you may want to have a peek there.

 

[n3ophy7e]

since this, i've really felt broody. i'm not going to try for a child. i need to get a stable job and be a distance from any severe mental health problems. when my periods stopped i reconciled myself with that fact by convincing myself i never wanted to give birth. is this a psychological trick i'm playing to accept the unpleasant physical reality of being a fertile female, or does it make sense hormonally?

will this go away? it is preoccupying me. i feel like my life isn't complete. that i need a child. that i need to get pregnant now otherwise i will lose my chance, though i'm not near the end of my child bearing years. knowing i should wait is tearing me up inside. i am in a stable relationship so wouldn't be a single mother but can barely look after myself most of the time. i don't even like the idea of the reality of it, the sleepless nights, the changes to my body, the loss of freedom, there's this overriding illogical thing in my head saying 'MAKE BABIES!'

Hi preoccupied, firstly I want to congratulate you for overcoming your issues with anorexia. I know from personal experience that it is a horrible disease that is really really difficult to overcome. Please stay strong and continue to keep on top of it.

I'm not sure exactly how old you are, or how long you were anorexic and thus how long you have been amenorrhic. But it sounds like your body and your brain are just adjusting to the flood of hormones that are naturally occuring in your body. I'm not sure if you were anorexic in your teenage years but perhaps it might be likened to when girls first begin to be really "hormonal". Perhaps it's kind of like a shock to your system because you haven't had the usual gradual period of time to get used to the hormonal fluctuations in your body.

The thing you need to remember is that hormones are NORMAL, and they are a natural part of being human. Everyone has them. These urges you have to procreate are completely normal for a person of your age. It's possibly such a difficult thing for you to come to terms with because you haven't experienced the gradual increase in that hormonally-driven biological clock, it's all just come suddenly and at full steam!! So I can totally understand that this is a difficult thing for you to deal with right now.

My main question is: Are you getting any ongoing therapy? I really think you would benefit from talking to a professional about how you're feeling. Perhaps even take your partner along so you can both discuss it with a therapist. It is clear that this issue is causing you a lot of internal distress and such psychological pressure could easily result in a relapse to anorexia, which you have made very clear that you really don't want to happen.

Also, have you spoken with your partner about this?? I think you really need to be honest with him and tell him exactly what you're going through. He loves you and wants to help you through this

If you are a registered member of BL, I would love to hear from you via PM where we can discuss this privately. You need support right now hun, please don't be afraid of reaching out for help