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Bupe Honestly, Did You Feel Better On Or Off Subs Compared To Total Sobriety?

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purplehaze147

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2010
Messages
470
This is a tricky question. I only want your opioin if you where off subs for more than 45 days but still even if you never made it that far feel free to share your thoughts. The withdrawal from subs lasts about a month so obviously if you're in acute withdrawal you're not gonna be feeling great.

I made it 52 days without subs or any opioid or recreational drug before I relapsed. I remember I got home from rehab and there was a full bottle of subutex on my dresser. I was feeling fantastic being sober, it may have been because I just was freed from captivity though. Anyway the temptation overcame me & I shot up 2mg. I remember thinking, is this it, am I "high" or just sedated, whats so special about this stuff? The same thoughts ran through my head when I releapsed on heroin shortly after. But I love heroin again now, now that I'm a more than occasional user, probably from the relief it gives.

When I relasped on heroin I didnt feel any more euphoric than what I felt from just holding it. I was more happy about getting it than being high on it. Crazy right?

So I was wondering, does having buprenorphine in you improve quality of life or lower it?
 
Sometimes I feel like I cant have a life of good quality without an opioid in me. I've been dependant since I was 18. I had my first shot of morphine when I was 12 & was prescribed Percocet for a little over a month. I started fucking with OxyContin when I was 14, the crushable ones by the way. I started heroin when I was 18 & got prescribed a high dose of methadone when I wasn't even dependant because I thought I'd be able to sell it lol, not realizing they make you take a drink of it in front of a nurse, but I stayed on it because it felt so god damn nice. Now I can shoot a brick, 50 bags, of high quality heroin from Newark, NJ in a day no problem without any concerns of and overdose while friends are saying how strong it is, thats how high my tolerance is. Im only 21 but it feels hopeless kinda, I know I'll live if I dont have it but I dont know how well & I always go back to it.
 
Interesting topic ph147! I have felt that underwhelming feeling of getting high and realizing it's not that great. I never tried bupe yet though. Soon though I will be taking the bupe patch for pain.
 
I don't have experience with anything really in this thread, but I just thought I would share that I can totally relate to feeling great just knowing I'm going to grab or that I'm going to get my 'fix' whatever it may be.
I had a pretty high dose codeine problem for a while (T1's otc, cwe ~500mg at a time pretty much the max thats possible to metabolize or I woulda pushed it further.. no sense wasting pills), thats about as much as I can relate to. Even when I was getting the sweats, aches, jitters, nausea and headaches and feeling like absolute shit.. somehow, getting that bottle, without even doing any, made it seem to go away. Just knowing I had scrounged the money and was going to get a bottle made me feel what felt like infinitely better.

It's fucking crazy what a mental game addiction really is. Anyway, sorry if you feel this is useless.. I just thought you'd like to know that others can definitely relate to that feeling. Oh and the fact that even such a minor opiate held the grasp it did over me.. was the reason I never pushed it beyond. That and it was economical. For the longest time I just swallowed 12 pills in the morning and then 12 about 12 hours later, just to keep the withdrawals away and give myself that little boost. I don't know how I didn't murder my liver doing that, but its still good somehow.
 
What does 500 mg codeine feel like? Pretty nice buzz? I've only seen that stuff for sale in Latin America. I can't recall what it felt like except for the sleepiness.
 
ABSOLUTELY (I wish I could choose a size for that as big as the page.....SOBER. When I was off subs after being on then for 6-7 years, I felt SO much better. I am back on then now at 16mg and it sucks, but hey, my life fucking sucks so what am I gona do? Plus I have a gorilla sized benzo addiction of 40mg a day (FORTY MILLIGRAMS)....and I've already had 2 grand mal seizures in the past few years stopping cold turkey.

I truly think sometime I have a death wish.
 
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