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harraser

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 3, 2001
Messages
2,091
i walked into her room with a light tap on the door.

'Hi!' she said, giving a start but sounding pleased.

i didnt bother replying. instead i walked over and climbed into the bed beside her.

i pressed my cheek against her back and she jumped away as though she'd been burned.

'here, have a pillow' she said, desperately shoving this lumpy mass of cotton at me and pressing herself into the corner against the wall.

i sighed and rolled over. i must have an inbuilt radar that picks up girls who cant bear to be touched. or maybe its just me.

'i fucking hate being awake this early on my days off!' insomnia girl grunts as she thrashes around in her fucked up sheets trying to free herself from their strangling cling.

eventually i doze off and wake an hour later to find her sitting at the desk trying to roll a cigarette with one hand while beating the other on the desk.

'i was lying on it, now im fucking numb from the shoulder down.'

lying in my bed in her room, which will be mine too, soon, when she goes away forever, i tell her 'i dreamed i was a baseball player. i was sick and just before i walked out onto the field to play i coughed all of my virus into a white leather handbag and gave it to a doctor.'

'youre disgusting. thats disgusting!' she replies, and walks outside to smoke her mangled cigarette.

i lie there a moment then get up and wander back to my matress on the living room floor. she comes inside and goes back to bed. my bed in her room, which will be mine too, soon, when she goes away forever.
 
THis is one i tried ti make sure i had time to read it throughly and soak it in,, since this is definately not your normal style but yet so more real then you have ever written..
I know right now you are struggling with the goodbye issues,,, you know i been there,,, ;) But this reads so much of how much you think you precieve things and what they are... SO much to settle in all our heads,,, excellent job for a change of style :)

much luv to you my friend!
 
this hits a little to close to home right now. Maybe i needed to read it from someone else, but all of a sudden, I don't feel as I have made a wrong decisions in ending my relationship. It took 5 long years to realize that I was just afraid to be alone and even though I was that girl in the corner and the one being annoyed... i was holding onto something that was not there.... something that was not healthy for me--was not true for me.

Thanks for this!!

~B
 
ello ~B
u-no what is cool, but also not? relationships R imaginary
some have a little paper but, im shur most get the gist, & truly it is a wonder to see what form time grants what was ended. realizations seldom stop BE i.n.g. reRealized

5 years is about the max most americans can stay @ a job, drive same car, be annoyed by same partner, etc ,etc, etc

;)
 
I cried while reading this:

i sighed and rolled over. i must have an inbuilt radar that picks up girls who cant bear to be touched. or maybe its just me.

Youre writting has always been something that you always kept to yourself specailly when it contained such raw and strong emotions. Note book after note book. I hope youre time in the states gives you the break from everything here :)

<3
 
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