home again

So this is the most depressed I have felt in a long long time. I feel like killing myself like ill be randomly going through my day and just think "I just wanna die". Then Ill think of the ways I could accomplish the task and it just seems easy. Things where going really well in my life but then i came back here, here is a bad place for me this room, this house it has a certain feeling to it. Its just not my home and I hate to say that because I love my parents but this is bad for me. I need a job, friends, and a hobby in that order. I just need to fill time till January if I dont fuck up and cause anything crazy to happen I can go finish my degree then. Damn I feel the xanax kicking in im gonna try not to fuck my life up.

 

*Hugs* I have felt that way recently and I am at home but I feel like the walls are closing in on me.... I hope you get through this because life changes so much. You never know what's going to happen. just wait and see.

My dad spent 27 years of his life in prison fantasizing suicide and never went through with it now be is out living an awesome life spending every moment with family he never dreamed this day would come.

Just an example of how low you can feel and how much your life can change. True story

 

Thanks for the kind words Kayla I am hoping things improve

 

*hugs*

 

Damn crrimsom im really sorru to read your blog posts and see youve been feeling like this man, youve always been very inspirational to me on my blog so its sad to see you in such an unhappy state

Keep your head up man its all we can do

Dude btw idk if u talked to that girl Kayla who posted here on thisbparticular blog ever im worried about her though her ex bf killed two girls and she was talking to him again before she stopped logging on here and amswering her text messages. Scary stuff hope shes ok

 

Thanks jones.

That is some scary stuff about Kayla . But no I have never talked to her outside of bluelight. Man I hope she is ok.