Just got through Thanksgiving in one piece...
Feel like I have a sinus infection anyway, but the entire experience has left me feeling skull fucked.
One certain section of my family is messed up beyond words (more so than usual core group), so much so that I tried to distance myself from them for a few years, only for everyone else to make me feel like I was the jerk and it was my responsibility to mend frayed relations. In reality, I just don't have time or room for negativity in my life, my marriage is sacred, and I don't want their bile tainting it. Anyway, I swallowed my so-called 'pride', and, along with an earlier dinner last Autumn, did the holiday meet and greet. Only, for the entirety, I felt my personal space to be invaded way beyond any manner of human civility/politeness. It's one thing if I invite certain people to visit me, but I was inundated with what felt like borderline threats of 'WERE COMING TO SEE YOU'S" (meaning, staying IN my tiny apt that is barely enough space for two people, even when I tried to address how little space we had and that we'd have work, etc...) from the group I have moral issue with the entire last few days (10 + times, at least) to the point where I have a splitting migraine and feel like I'm emotionally drained beyond belief. A huge part of why I live so far away is to distance myself from this crap. That, and being with my husband (same goes for him, funnily enough). I am an intensely private person, and things happened that I will never be able to fully forgive. I know that again makes me sound like a shit, but it goes very, very deep. Even sitting in the same room with one of these individuals took a great deal of self restraint, as they had done all possible to humiliate not only myself but those closest to me.
I know this probably sounds super petty to many, but this person literally is morally bereft and, imo, dangerous to the well being of others. My mom was hospitalized with bleeding ulcers over the amount of stress they caused. I won't even go into what my brother went through.
I know it will bowl over, but I hate how family is supposed to symbolize some kind of unbreakable bind, even when it is not healthy. I do care for everyone's well being, but I care for my own more at the moment. That sounds selfish, I'm sure, but if I broke down what really happened, it would make more sense.
Anyway, hope all is well with others. Love and well wishes to everyone who took the time to read this.
Peace.
Feel like I have a sinus infection anyway, but the entire experience has left me feeling skull fucked.
One certain section of my family is messed up beyond words (more so than usual core group), so much so that I tried to distance myself from them for a few years, only for everyone else to make me feel like I was the jerk and it was my responsibility to mend frayed relations. In reality, I just don't have time or room for negativity in my life, my marriage is sacred, and I don't want their bile tainting it. Anyway, I swallowed my so-called 'pride', and, along with an earlier dinner last Autumn, did the holiday meet and greet. Only, for the entirety, I felt my personal space to be invaded way beyond any manner of human civility/politeness. It's one thing if I invite certain people to visit me, but I was inundated with what felt like borderline threats of 'WERE COMING TO SEE YOU'S" (meaning, staying IN my tiny apt that is barely enough space for two people, even when I tried to address how little space we had and that we'd have work, etc...) from the group I have moral issue with the entire last few days (10 + times, at least) to the point where I have a splitting migraine and feel like I'm emotionally drained beyond belief. A huge part of why I live so far away is to distance myself from this crap. That, and being with my husband (same goes for him, funnily enough). I am an intensely private person, and things happened that I will never be able to fully forgive. I know that again makes me sound like a shit, but it goes very, very deep. Even sitting in the same room with one of these individuals took a great deal of self restraint, as they had done all possible to humiliate not only myself but those closest to me.
I know this probably sounds super petty to many, but this person literally is morally bereft and, imo, dangerous to the well being of others. My mom was hospitalized with bleeding ulcers over the amount of stress they caused. I won't even go into what my brother went through.
I know it will bowl over, but I hate how family is supposed to symbolize some kind of unbreakable bind, even when it is not healthy. I do care for everyone's well being, but I care for my own more at the moment. That sounds selfish, I'm sure, but if I broke down what really happened, it would make more sense.
Anyway, hope all is well with others. Love and well wishes to everyone who took the time to read this.
Peace.