hmmm

So, I haven't been on Bluelight for aaaaaaaages!

Just read my last 'blog' - shame I didn't really keep it going - until now. But that one post show's me nothing's changed.

I'm on bupe maintenance and I'm fucking frustrated. All I want to do is get high, and I've been trying, but it seems bupe blocks all my attempts and I can't seem to potentiate the bupe either, am I ever content or happy?

I've been thinking a lot about methadone but it scares me and it probably shouldn't. I'm finding it hard to draw a conclusion about which opiate replacement therapy will suit me (assuming I have infact got a choice? - If my Doctor can prescribe bupe, can he also prescribe done?). How did I get onto bupe in the first place? I was fucking desparate and that's all I was offered, I didn't question it - I craved and reacted, did what my addicted brain knew how to do best - skip the thinking process.

So now bupe is doing what those long life, opiate replacement drugs are supposed to, give you a break, give you a chance to change your ways, including thinking patterns. So I'm thinking this through but with no definitave answers.

I don't know anyone reading this so perhaps this blog is just going to end up being for me.

pro's and cons re done and bupe:

pro's bupe:
I know it works for treating WD symptoms
I know the WDs for bupe are ok and managable
It's flexible in the way I can get dosed every second day
It's a partial agonist.
It's supposed to be more clear headed than done.
It's supposed to be more 'speedy' than done (also a con for an insomniac like myself)

cons bupe:
when dose increases, reponse curves and can plateau during maintenance, as is now - no buzz
At first I felt a nice buzz and now nothing.
It's not safe to use other opiates with because is blocks the feeling of them, so there's a tendancy to binge to feel something, which is an OD risk. Or you can experience precipitated WD from using opiates at the same time.
Can't get take-aways
I've got insomnia and it helped at first, but now doesn't
Seem to need an increase in dose every couple of months, this means I eventually get WD symptoms and the higher the dose gets the further I get from reducing and getting off completely - when I want to.
If I get pregnant I should probably make the switch to done anyway because there is better research re: done and pregnancy

Done pros:
Apparently you can get more drowsy
Increased dose = increased response
Can get takeaways
reliable and well research re: pregnancy (this is just incase I fell pregnant by accident - not planning to)

Done cons:
Have no experience with it, so don't know how it will affect me
'liquid cuffs' - meant to be very hard in reduction and getting off altogether
can't double day dose, like with bupe - apparently I will 'feel it' after 24 hours and be eager to dose again then.
Full agonist - feels like I'm taking a step back
not as clear headed as when on bupe (this can also be a pro though)

Even after this exercise and reading a zillion forums on what people prefer - it seems to depend on the individual. I imagine it's not easy to switch from one to the other and won't be easy to switch back again if I want to, becauce of precipitated WD and I've heard that bupe is never the same after done?

If anyone wants to share their experience with me - comment on this blog, I still feel the more I know the better before making this decision.

 

If you are on Bupe and still craving then you need to either increase your Bupe, or if at its ceiling, swith to methadone. Bupe is only ever viable for people with light habits or very short histories of usage. It is a great alternative, and as far as that goes the more the merrier, but it isn't going to help most addicts. That 16mg ceiling (the stories about 24 mg relates to off label nonsense that has since been debunked) is only equal to 50 mg of methadone, not even a therapeutic dosage!

As for liquid handcuffs...Addicts are whiners. When illicitly using they would wait hours in the most dangerous places, risking their lives, sometimes the lives of loved ones, risking their freedom and now when they have adjusted to methadone they point to methadone and complain. Methadone withdrawals are a lot longer than heroin withdrawals, 2 x longer on average, BUT they are also VERY mild in comparison. At the height of a cold turkey off of 220 mg I was able to skin a cow and calf that had died birthing. At the height of heroin or morphine withdrawal I can barely even talk or leave the toilet. Big difference.

It allows one to stabalise, to dose only once every 24 hours (actually holds you 2 days), and saves one a tonne of money. No more risking safety and freedom so all that whining from methadone patients is just silly.

 

hey rachamim - that's the best information I've heard. I am on 16mg every second day for a double and 8mg if I dose daily, right now I am trying to use valium for an extra kick to my dose and deep heat cream to ease my WD aches and I only got dosed 7 hours ago - that's so not right is it?

wHERE I live there are prescribing doctors far and few in between and there's like one detox/rehab and there waiting list is 6-12 months, so when I discovered my regular doctor Id been seeing for years also prescribed pharmacotherapy - I thought I was lucky and I took what ever she gave me I was so desparate - my drug supply had been cut dramatically - and I couldn't financially make it work, I already sacrificed food in order to use, and my health - went to emergency at my local hospital my stomach lining was ready to pop and potentially poision me from my bad nutrition and other drug related practices. my usage was unsustainable and WDs unbarable - my dr, I have now found has a reputation for not prescribing done to new pharmacotherapy clients, and prefers bupe and I spent most of last year on one rapid reduction on bupe after another. he first only put me on it for 7 days, I relapsed immediatley, he then put me on 10 days, then a month, then 6 weeks - another relapse and then another months rapid reduction, I later found out he doesn't like prescribing maintenance, but finally did it for me, I was at my wits end - I wasn't in rehab, the wait was too long, but I was seeing a psychologist and a drug outreach worker from a rehabilitation program (which was full) in tandem so I was trying my best to be proactive and cope but it was not working, but I was constantly put through this emotional and physical rollercoaster of using, withdrawing as long as I could, getting on bupe - feeling relief for the first few days until my dose was reduced and then I'd face the anxiety of it ending, I'd even plan for a relapse a head of time because I knew I wasn't capable of getting off yet I was dealing with other major issues i.e bereavement and trauma - I was hardly ready for WD, I was in a constant state of instability. So finally i'm on maintenance and now this bullshit - perhaps I am being like you say, a whinging junkie - complaining on bupe maintenance, when once upon a time (..of rapid reduction bupe treatment) it was all I ever wanted. But I feel like this plateau thing is bullshit, this feeling stable for a month or 2 and then my body decides it's time for an increase - how far can you increase? you say there's a ceiling dose - well then I've hit it - and feel fucked. You make Methadone sound like stability and that's all I want - real stability for more that a couple of days (as it were) or a couple of months (like it is now).

Thanks for responding, your comments have made methadone sound less scarey and more viable and basically your sentiment feeds into my instinct - I want to get on the done.

Thanks again mate.. coopie