Hiding substance use from family

[hoffsteader]

I'm wondering how common it is for people to hide their substance use from their family. It seems necessary because of my history with drugs but at the same time it can be painful to have to hide a part of myself and worry about having to tell lies at times to cover it up.

Is it really that bad make decisions for myself instead of based on what other people think is best for me? I'm in my thirties so I'm not a kid anymore.

 

[bigjon69]

I'm in my early 20s and my family knows about all the drugs i've took except for H.. I would've kept it a secret but I got arrested for possession and distribution when I was 15 and I was kicked out of rehab clinic just a month ago where I was tapering benzo's.

I would say it depends on the family.. I wouldn't tell them if there was no need to.

 

[herbavore]

To tell or not to tell?---it all depends on so many things.

What is your drug use like? Is it problematic or is it controlled?
What does your family think about drugs--are they against them due to ignorance or due to healthy concern?
What is your mental health like? Your family may be concerned for that.
What kind of relationship do you want with your family? Do you want open communication or have you resigned yourself to a more superficial relationship?

For me the last question is the crucial question. Because regardless of what your drug use is like, lying or concealing facts damages relationships. It can be really hard to create relationships of trust--especially between parents and their offspring. But the effort it takes is worth it in the long run for most people. Sometimes, it just isn't possible but that is rare.

 

[Desp71]

My drug use is a secret from my family and friends. I feel like shit for it too. I am a 46 year old female that has hidden my pill usage from my husband. I am currently starting day 3 free from pain pills. Yesterday was the 1st day i decided to admit my drug problem here on BL. It was a huge step for me. Im working on digging myself out of this hole i have created for myself. Telling my husband right now is not an option for me. He is strictly against anything but mj use. I working to become the wife he deserves, im working to be the mom my 9 year old deserves....this is just my story. Good luck to you

 

[hoffsteader]

Thanks for the replies. I agree that it is important to determine what type of relationship to have with family members. With some people I have an openness about just about everything but drug use tends to be the exception where there is a history of lying, hiding, etc. It's not really by choice it's just that it is the only option when there is a complete lack of acceptance and risk of getting kicked out. Hopefully this time the results will not be anything extreme.