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Hi, Im Ali, and I'm an Addict (heroin)

Alikat

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
70
Location
Atlanta
Hi , I'm Ali I've been an IV heroin user for a few years, currently Im on a methadone program but still using... I've missed my dose a few times n the withdrawals were hell on earth. I moved across country to do this program n I am beyond dissappointed at my failure to make it work. I want to lose the desire to use, but I don't feel I'll ever find that one thing that makes me wanna stop.... Like ever. Also without the heroin I'm so empty inside n it is so cold n depressing of a feeling. It's like having no soul, heroin fills me with a warm n content joy that nothing else compares to. Nothing else can ever fill that space. Despite it all I want desperately to quit... Any suggestions???
 
yes, I have been in past addicted to large doses Morphine IV, and my love for the feeling does go way beyond anything, but the price is too high, even looking at the price, however, was not enough to make me stop. I ever consider just shooting up till it killed me, at least I would die happy. Fortunately I was able to put myself in a position where I had no access to get Morphine, and I do not know how to buy Heroin on the street. (I could figure it out I suppose). So, I set road blocks for myself, then attended AA meetings which really helped.
Can you put yourself in a position where you have no access? Willpower is not going to do it.
 
Right now, I can't get out of town :( I've tried that tho a few times... Kept myself away from old people places n things n done a full detox at my moms house. Soon as I was feeling good enuf to function (4 days) I flew home n my boyfriend picked me up at the airport with a bag of dope. I've started w/d another 3 times, the last time I was in the country with my bf and no acess to my methadone doses, after 3 days of w/d I paid a 140$ can to the methadone clinic to dose. After I really wished I woulda just ruffed it out:( even in the methadone I feel empty n just completely joyless all the time. How long does this last n does the methadone make it worse?? I go to group n individual counseling 4-5 times a week n it's the only thing that remotely helps...
 
N no I've never tried Kratom... What's it do??? I don't k ow much at all about it
A lot of people have found it to be a legal substitute to opiates, with very little side-effects, and much cheaper in the long run also.

Its simply a powder you take a few times a day and it gives an opiate type high, similar to taking good dose of codeine. It might work for you, who knows. It is addictive of course, but its a much lesser evil then opiates
 
Ive been an IV heroin user off and on for over 3 years, kicked numerous times (not always by choice, incarcertation helped but I would advise against it lol). Geographical change never helped me....dope is everywhere and you take your addiction with you. If you can afford the methadone (which in my opinion is worse than street dope) then you might try suboxone. Its a miracle drug if you can get your hands on some (again, my opinion). Its just really expensive here on the street and I lack medical insurance. Everytime I get the notion to buy it my addict tendencies tell me to spend less and get the H. It does work however its easy to just trade addictions with. If you plan on kicking at home I can give you lots of advice on OTC meds that help, as well as some simple routines such as getting outside as much as possible, etc..... btw you will never get clean with a boyfriend like that, trust me on that one. My ex and I used together for over a year and everytime one of us decided we had enough the other one enabled and we where back on the merry-go-round. I plan on starting my kick this weekend and joined to get advice on the aforementioned Kratum. It didn't do anything for me but come to find out I wasn't taking nearly enough to affect an opiate addict with a tolerance like mine. Let me know if you have any questions and good luck to both of us...
 
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