Well Im not too sure what to say so I guess Ill just start with a few things about me.
Had a messed up childhood (like most) I was always surrounded by drugs & swore that ID NEVER BE LIKE THAT!!! SUREEEE
I had/have a huge pill problem that started about 15 years ago. I went to court ordered rehab...did not help one bit. It actually taught me more about the heavier drugs which is completely ironic.
Then after years of popping pills i figured...time to stop. So a friend gave me # for a suboxone doc.I dont know if this was a good or bad thing at this point. He started me on 32mg's a day with 4mg xanax to ease my anxiety issues & also the dr said the subs would intensify the anxiety. Sooo after 2 years of seeing this sub dr I started to try & wean myself off of subs because whenever i mentioned it to him...he'd say "You just arent ready" another 3 years go by and I lost my job and pretty much everything else I have ever had. i dont even talk to family anymore...which to be honest, I feel is a good thing. They all have their DOC & act as if they are angels. I hate liars so I cut them out of my life.
Now I cant afford subs and for the 1st time in my life started OC's...theyre way too expensive so guess what comes next kids??? You got it...H!
Something I al;ways said if i did that I would end up 6 feet under. Its been about 2 months & im still here. I do have a lot of questions that I cant talk to anyone about & when I saw this site...it was like a blessing....so to speak.
RIGHT NOW...I have no apartment, job, money & am staying on a relatives couch that treats me like a POS everyday of my life. But I suck it up because my next step is a shelter & im trying everything in power to avoid that. I currently have a HUGE tolorence...well always have. Dr's would blame my mothers drug use while she was carrying me on that but who knows. I hate to be a finger pointer. So here I am....for the 1st time being honest about what i am actually doing & I have to say, I feel a tiny bit better.
Thanks for listening :0)
Had a messed up childhood (like most) I was always surrounded by drugs & swore that ID NEVER BE LIKE THAT!!! SUREEEE
I had/have a huge pill problem that started about 15 years ago. I went to court ordered rehab...did not help one bit. It actually taught me more about the heavier drugs which is completely ironic.
Then after years of popping pills i figured...time to stop. So a friend gave me # for a suboxone doc.I dont know if this was a good or bad thing at this point. He started me on 32mg's a day with 4mg xanax to ease my anxiety issues & also the dr said the subs would intensify the anxiety. Sooo after 2 years of seeing this sub dr I started to try & wean myself off of subs because whenever i mentioned it to him...he'd say "You just arent ready" another 3 years go by and I lost my job and pretty much everything else I have ever had. i dont even talk to family anymore...which to be honest, I feel is a good thing. They all have their DOC & act as if they are angels. I hate liars so I cut them out of my life.
Now I cant afford subs and for the 1st time in my life started OC's...theyre way too expensive so guess what comes next kids??? You got it...H!
Something I al;ways said if i did that I would end up 6 feet under. Its been about 2 months & im still here. I do have a lot of questions that I cant talk to anyone about & when I saw this site...it was like a blessing....so to speak.
RIGHT NOW...I have no apartment, job, money & am staying on a relatives couch that treats me like a POS everyday of my life. But I suck it up because my next step is a shelter & im trying everything in power to avoid that. I currently have a HUGE tolorence...well always have. Dr's would blame my mothers drug use while she was carrying me on that but who knows. I hate to be a finger pointer. So here I am....for the 1st time being honest about what i am actually doing & I have to say, I feel a tiny bit better.
Thanks for listening :0)
& respect to you all
