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Hi all, newby from South Africa

J

Junior84

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 31, 2015
Messages
6
Hi everyone, im completely new to bluelight, my name is junior "for real" lol, im from South Africa. Hopefully there is more guys from South Africa here??
More about myself:
Im 31 years old and lost my wife of 8years 10day ago!!! We where together for 14years! We were always together and did everything together, she was my whole life and i only lived to for her!!!!
My whole life is ruined now! The last month of her life i started taking her oxycontin and oxynorm "she had lotss" and now after her death ive been taking about 160mg a day! It helps me cope and just feel better about myself!
I had a breakdown yesterday and just lost it!!!
My family forced me to go to a dokter for help, he gave me AZOR and PAXIL20 for depression and to calm down, as well as sleeping pills to help me, coz ive about 5hours sleep in the past 10days.
I feel like crap! And mis my dear wife so much!!
I have about 12 20mg tabs oxy left, i dont know what im gonna do when they runout!!!
I might kill someone... Lol or myself....
I joint this forum to ask for help or advice, or just to chat to people who knows about drugs and that might help in some sort of way.
I dont know what to expect from the drugs the doc prescribed me?
Please bear with me, as im lost and i dont know what to do...
 
Ok, thanks, should i move my thread to there? Or can i just leave this one here?
 
Welcome to bluelight.

Please don't do anything rash. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm about the same age as you and been with my wife the same amount of time. We also had the same type of relationship for a good while, so I can identify with your situation on those levels.

As far as the oxy use, you're using them to mask the pain. It's a crutch for you right now, but unfortunately you will have to deal with the emotions without drugs at some point, and grieve naturally.

My advice to you is to take those 12 pills slowly to taper/ween yourself as much as possible, so when they run out, you won't feel as much withdrawal symptoms.

On a sociable level, try not to isolate yourself. Talk to whoever you have in your life..try to keep your mind off the negative. Good luck.
 
Welcome to BL Junior.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine how much you must be suffering.
I know opiates may make you feel better but it has the potential to make this experience even worse as you will eventually have to deal with your situation, your sadness, etc.

What you are feeling is natural and it's important to go through all the stages of grief so you can move on with your life. We have other threads here that can help you like the one Evey suggested.
And if you want help on recovering you could also visit TDS, sober living, etc. Just as a suggestion.
All my best. Erik
 
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Do you guys really think he should withdraw from opiates now, ten days after his wife has died? I mean holy shit, if there's one situation where I'd say to continue, it'd be that. I disagree that he is just suppressing emotion that he will have to experience in the future. I was on smack when I lost a really close loved one, and though getting high definitely took away the full force of the blow and stopped me from being devastated, and despite getting as high as possible as often as I could for quite a long time after that, I still processed my grief and dealt with it, it's not like when I came off opiates it was as if all of a sudden it felt like he'd died yesterday....
 
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