Hi all just checking in

[SunSpot]

Hi all, hope you guys and gals are being kind to yourself! It's been a few months now since i quit kratom, and longer still since quitting oral opium. Glad to say there are no specific cravings for opiates; i think when you've used oral only and were constipated as heck, the slow onset makes the brain less likely to associate effects with the drug.

The weirdest thing is that i almost miss the horrible months long wd, that feeling of heightened sensory perception was neat. Not sleeping for a week and the cramps not so, but still. I did not get anxiety like so many other sufferers during wd.

So my real reason for writing today is that i discovered some kratom in a random corner and just threw it away. That monkey is really of my back. But sadly during a recent trip to Thailand and China i started drinking again I'm active in sports and my health has never been better, but just casually drinking bottle after bottle of wine is not ok. It's not water! Doesn't help that i work from home. But I'm not hating myself for the slip, there's no pressure, things will work out.

I'm trying hard to feel why i quit, which was because using anything makes me a zombie, wasting my talents. But it can be just so hard to find that rush to compensate, i learned scuba in Thailand, which was awesome, but i can't do that all the time. Paragliding was satisfying but after a dangerous landing I've forbidden myself the sport. Thankfully, slowly, as I've cut away more and more substances, life is showing me there are ways to get natural thrills that exceed chemical means and that some have at least a margin of safety. I don't want to get into extreme sports but life has led me here

My problems may seem minor compared to someone with no money and a destroyed life, i get that deeply. Deeply. Which is why I'm taking my oldest child to volunteer with me in a rehab facility, if anyone has an addictive personality it's her, what with binge watching cartoons until 4am once she's figured out another way to beat the lock screen

So thank you toothpdog and everyone for listening to me this summer. I've thought with compassion of you and everyone who's ever fallen into the sticky trap of substance use. Or who is trapped by bad economics or unjust laws. I will try to make a change for the better in the world, perhaps you can do so too.

 

[Jabberwocky]

So glad to hear from you! Thanks for checking in

 

[cj]

Nice to hear a success story

 

[simco]

SunSpot...what a nice outcome. Sorry you had a little slip with the booze, but I'm glad to hear you're not too down about it. Sounds like you've totally got this.

 

[SunSpot]

Thanks simco and tpd, yes it it's starting to feel like i 'got this' there's just no substitute for being a narcissistic asshat , or coward, or scaredy cat and getting out before it gets so much tougher to do so. Just glad i caught this in time, but my case is probably not normal.

We'll volunteer next week, my daughter for three hours and i for a full day. I've been dreaming almost every night about how to approach this issue with compassion and impact. I too once lived paycheck to paycheck, it's a hard life. Not everyone grew up in a normal(ish) family. Many did and got addicted just the same. Teens rebell. I think the best point i can give from the heart is to love and forgive yourself, to make up twice elsewhere for wrongs you've done to others AND yourself.
Or should i preach total abstinence? People say it works for them, i respect that. I'm not using O again not because I'm forcing myself, but because i don't want to. The drug lifestyle yucks made out, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have a bhangra when i visit the Holi festival. Maybe should i try to say what i think is best for individual people to hear? Or hold a rousing speech? Or compare the addictive and health dangers off different drugs? I'll dream about this again I'm sure..

Ps and i won't beat myself up if the vast majority of the rehab is unmoved by my small contribution, they probably get inundated with this stuff. But i will make it crystal clear to them that though some may not be able to change themselves, they must not let their children or their community slide into the same trap they did. Sorry for my brainstorm there

 

[cj]

Thanks simco and tpd, yes it it's starting to feel like i 'got this' there's just no substitute for being a narcissistic asshat , or coward, or scaredy cat and getting out before it gets so much tougher to do so. Just glad i caught this in time, but my case is probably not normal.

We'll volunteer next week, my daughter for three hours and i for a full day. I've been dreaming almost every night about how to approach this issue with compassion and impact. I too once lived paycheck to paycheck, it's a hard life. Not everyone grew up in a normal(ish) family. Many did and got addicted just the same. Teens rebell. I think the best point i can give from the heart is to love and forgive yourself, to make up twice elsewhere for wrongs you've done to others AND yourself.
Or should i preach total abstinence? People say it works for them, i respect that. I'm not using O again not because I'm forcing myself, but because i don't want to. The drug lifestyle yucks made out, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have a bhangra when i visit the Holi festival. Maybe should i try to say what i think is best for individual people to hear? Or hold a rousing speech? Or compare the addictive and health dangers off different drugs? I'll dream about this again I'm sure..

Ps and i won't beat myself up if the vast majority of the rehab is unmoved by my small contribution, they probably get inundated with this stuff. But i will make it crystal clear to them that though some may not be able to change themselves, they must not let their children or their community slide into the same trap they did. Sorry for my brainstorm there

Jus be present and listen to what the people there have to say. Talk about the NFL or NBA I craved some normal everyday conversation when I was at those places. Don't underestimate the dignity of being treated like a normal human being.

I got so sick of speeches or the rah rah crap. If someone clings to you then by all means a little pep talk is cool but don't take it too far.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Thanks simco and tpd, yes it it's starting to feel like i 'got this' there's just no substitute for being a narcissistic asshat , or coward, or scaredy cat and getting out before it gets so much tougher to do so. Just glad i caught this in time, but my case is probably not normal.

We'll volunteer next week, my daughter for three hours and i for a full day. I've been dreaming almost every night about how to approach this issue with compassion and impact. I too once lived paycheck to paycheck, it's a hard life. Not everyone grew up in a normal(ish) family. Many did and got addicted just the same. Teens rebell. I think the best point i can give from the heart is to love and forgive yourself, to make up twice elsewhere for wrongs you've done to others AND yourself.
Or should i preach total abstinence? People say it works for them, i respect that. I'm not using O again not because I'm forcing myself, but because i don't want to. The drug lifestyle yucks made out, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have a bhangra when i visit the Holi festival. Maybe should i try to say what i think is best for individual people to hear? Or hold a rousing speech? Or compare the addictive and health dangers off different drugs? I'll dream about this again I'm sure..

Ps and i won't beat myself up if the vast majority of the rehab is unmoved by my small contribution, they probably get inundated with this stuff. But i will make it crystal clear to them that though some may not be able to change themselves, they must not let their children or their community slide into the same trap they did. Sorry for my brainstorm there

That is a particularly beautiful post SunSpot. Thank you

 

[Moreaux]

Thanks simco and tpd, yes it it's starting to feel like i 'got this' there's just no substitute for being a narcissistic asshat , or coward, or scaredy cat and getting out before it gets so much tougher to do so. Just glad i caught this in time, but my case is probably not normal.

We'll volunteer next week, my daughter for three hours and i for a full day. I've been dreaming almost every night about how to approach this issue with compassion and impact. I too once lived paycheck to paycheck, it's a hard life. Not everyone grew up in a normal(ish) family. Many did and got addicted just the same. Teens rebell. I think the best point i can give from the heart is to love and forgive yourself, to make up twice elsewhere for wrongs you've done to others AND yourself.
Or should i preach total abstinence? People say it works for them, i respect that. I'm not using O again not because I'm forcing myself, but because i don't want to. The drug lifestyle yucks made out, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have a bhangra when i visit the Holi festival. Maybe should i try to say what i think is best for individual people to hear? Or hold a rousing speech? Or compare the addictive and health dangers off different drugs? I'll dream about this again I'm sure..

Ps and i won't beat myself up if the vast majority of the rehab is unmoved by my small contribution, they probably get inundated with this stuff. But i will make it crystal clear to them that though some may not be able to change themselves, they must not let their children or their community slide into the same trap they did. Sorry for my brainstorm there

I'm so glad to hear that you are doing well. Regarding drinking, it's not that uncommon to quit opiates and transition to booze, and vice versa so stay vigilant about booze consumption and try not to get complacent as booze can really sneak up on some people.

You sound so serene which is rare in early recovery - embrace that peace. I also wanted to say that it's awesome you want to volunteer at a facility andnhavebyour child participate. I would recommend against having a scripted response, and strongly advise against preaching anything. Everybody's recovery is different and what works for some may not work for others. It's up to thebaddict to decide how they want their recovery to go, and what works for them. I think the best thing you can do when talking to them is keep it conversational and give them individual attention (unless you are giving a presentation). Share your experience, strength, and hope - tell them what you did to get healthy. Keep in mind they are working with doctors and counselors and you are not a professional so offer them your experiences . Infound when I was both in active addiction and subsequently rehab I got the most out of hearing people in recovery speak about how they got sober - their realizations, experiences, and strategies.

You may find this helpful as these are key communication tips when dealing with addicts/mental health patients one on one in a hospital setting. These are a few of the more important ones, but I have several more of you than any to here them.

1. Actively Listen and repeat some of what they tell you (rephrased) back to them to verify you indeed understand.

2. Validate them as a person - identify a strength even if it's only something along the lines of "it takes courage to enter treatment". Be authentic.

3. Empower them - ask their permission - for instance "do you mind if I ask you ....".

4. If they seem to want advice try to lead them to their own conclusions (make them think) instead of just giving the answers.

5. Let them determine the topics of conversation

Avoid giving direct advice or making blanket statements.

But i will make it crystal clear to them that though some may not be able to change themselves, they must not let their children or their community slide into the same trap they did.

I think that this could potentially be very harmful and can serve to reinforce that recovery is hard and maybe they shouldn't try, or that they're not smart enough to figure it out, or many other negative possibilities that could zap their motivation to concentrate and work on the program they are in. This is not supportive. I would also be very hesitant to give any advice regarding their children. It is totally out of their control whether or not another human being gets addicted...some people you meet there may already have adult children who are addicts and essentially blaming them (they failed to prevent the addiction) is going to make them feel guilty and depressed.

One last thing - really listen to what people are telling you as it's a good way to gain more insight into your addiction and recovery. I hope you have fun and would love if you updated this thread with your thoughts on the experience.

 

[herbavore]

It's very cool that you are going to volunteer. I'm with everyone else that has basically said this in different ways: listening, really listening, will lead the conversation naturally. No need to espouse any particular philosophy.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

hi sunspot!!!

 

[SunSpot]

Moreaux, I've just re read your post a second time and am just so glad you wrote it! Thank you. Thank you twice for mentioning that some folks have a phase with ethanol after quitting O, knowing in not alone helps a lot. Hi herbavore, hi captain! Moreaux, I ESPECIALLY like that you've disagreed with what i wrote about giving this message of 'if you can't succeed totally with yourself at least don't pass it on'. That's just me internalizing harm reduction (totally for it) with my flavor of realism and where i was (am?) at last week. It's still a good philosophy (love yourself for yourself) but maybe not helpful for others who face consequences for even the tiniest bit of use. Then the calculation is different.

Just as it is for those for whom even a tiny slip leads down a slippery slope to the ravine of doom. You are right not to like my attitude! Being all there, all alive is just so much nicer than drinking from that trough of tragedy (ok enough with the wordplay now

Perhaps this is just my attitude, where i take on so much struggle in my life for others, limit use to be not overtly harmful to that, but can't seem to save myself from this insidious scourge. Though I'm getting closer!

So I've finally (just now) decided who I'm going to be when i volunteer for the first few weeks, thanks to you guys and gals! I will keep in mind to be totally open to learn new things, I'll treat this just as if i were backpacking somewhere, going to a good art gallery, or socializing before a meeting. Or reading papers, or listening to who my five year olds school day was. There will be important people and ideas there and I'm prepared to be surprised

Since those will be mostly young people, yeah I'll make the speech I'm required to give a bit peppy sanders style, it's just who i am. In fact I've now thought about this so much, I'm just going to be who i am the whole time. Which means I'll incorporate your advice and will listen. ❤ to do that anyway!

Hope you all are doing well, it's a beautiful and anxious weekend, please say you voted! And don't fear if your candidate loses, life will go on. Yes my business mind made me bet big on market volatility and decline before the election, but my gut says we'll pull through. though i AM feeling a bit sick about the state of things

 

[w0w0mg]

Sending positive vibes! Love you!!

 

[SunSpot]

Well that was different than i thought, everyone there was just like in a regular high school class. Yes i did kitchen duty, and helped with tutoring where i found some talented, awesome new people. But i didn't feel like we were dealing with any drug problems at all, maybe because everyone had been forced to be clean for weeks already. My daughter did great, though she was a bit confused why we were doing this.

Still i felt like there was a lot of tension in the air. People dreamed of stuff they could probably not achieve in real life in their present state. Or economic system, whatever. What they liked most was the list of resources i brought, none had ever known there's still actual support for entrepreneurs. It's hard to find amid all the stupid ads for usurious loans.

Still it didn't feel like a good fit, yeah i and the kids there got a lot out of it, but none had a child on the line, or a life destroyed. I'll go again of course, art least a few times, just to be there for them. But I'll be looking for a new charity that helps everyone, not just those with wealthy jackass parents.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Right now we need all the meaning we can get in our lives with the craziness of the recent election. I think it is awesome you went and did that, both for yourself and for your daughter's sake. So cool! Wish my parents had thought of something like that for a family activity when I was a kid