hi again.. went from the top to the bottom and now back on the top

[molly897]

hola again everybody that remembers me. living in NY now. had a record deal with a huge label and it went bye bye.

haven't been on in a few months. been clean since august. had a rough battle with benzo withdrawals after being put on a steady dose of 6mg klonopin and moving to a state (new york) where it's a narcotic.. (it's schedule IIII in Florida)... so every doctor up here looked at me like i was addicted to it except i just couldn't come off the shit. almost entered a 5 day detox program to come off it, except i wasn't an addict, so i didn't qualify. kept trying to ween myself off and ended up in the ER three times. finally i'm down to 2-3mg a day. i found a good doctor who referred me to a psychiatrist who's also a registered nurse and she put me on zoloft and is weening me off the rest of the klonopin.. i gotta say.. to the people that told me if they remember to not even start klonopin.. you were right.

my fiance (now husband) was right. i wish i never got on the shit. it feels great to be clean though. can't wait for the day that i don't have to take any medicine at all. i don't even smoke weed anymore. i went from eating grams of molly and blowing eightballs of coke and blowing 120mgs of adderall, dabbling with speedballing and trips too many to count, all while living in a grow house big enough to get me 15 years, to sobriety. i'm at my lowest weight now (107) and still have some major stomach issues, but it's gotten better. i can't believe it's taken almost a year for drug abuse repercussions to go away. moved to NY to get away from the drug scene and landed myself a record deal with universal music group. but that went away when they wanted to change my sound into something darker and edgier. along with that comes an image change. i'll die before i sell out. so now i'm living in NY with my husband still, but returning back to florida in march so he can finish school. alot of people want us dead back there, and it will be interesting to go back. but i gotta see my baby graduate, and i want to go back to school. i want to not be on medicine anymore and as soon as i'm 80% better i'm doing it. just a little life story update for those that remember me

how is everyone else?

 

[MindOverMethadone]

That to me sounds like a success story! Just a quick question; how long do you think it took for you to get physically addicted to the kolopins? I've been using Benzos to battle my opiate withdrawal and I'm afraid I may be taking it for too long?...I've used it for about a week and a half now, about .5 mgs of xanax around noon, .25mgs around 6 at night, and another .5mgs before (12:00 ish). Any input would be great! Thanks!

 

[molly897]

haha thanks. well to put it plainly, i started on .25 once a day for one week, .5 the next, 1 mg the next three weeks, 1 mg twice a day by the end of the month, and by the end of the next month i was on 4mg. i was bumping my own dose up to 5mg in the third month because i was scared to say it wasn't enough, but once i did, i was prescribed 5mg. then after a week or two i had to start taking 6mgs. and once i got to 6mgs i had to take 2.5 mg in the morning and 2.5 in the after noon and one to sleep at night, and i'd STILL be clenching my hands and chattering my teeth.

BUT, i am very sensitive to drugs. this doesn't say that your tolerance will build as quick as mine. for instance i needed 70mg of adderall for it to actually work. i was definitely physically addicted by the 2mg point, and i knew it, but my mentality was "i'll deal with the repercussions later"

i called my doctor in FL crying because when i got to NY being on 6mgs of klonopin, all the doctors asked me how many YEARS i had been on it. and i had been on it for three months

 

[MindOverMethadone]

Oh okay... I'm also very sensitive to drugs, and I tend to build a tolerance a lot quicker than my friends. I used to stay from benzos 'cause I hated the disoriented, drowsy feeling I'd get from it, but right now, some sleep is better than none. Sounds to me like as long as I discontinue my use within the next few days I won't be facing any negative repercussions?...I'll be damned if I ended up getting hooked on benzos just to get off opiates, lol. Brrr gives me the chills just thinking about it; well, more like it's making it worse.

Thanks, btw. And congrats!