Hey how's it going? Wow, it seems like you're in a really bad positon to start with. I mean in that it sounds like trying to quit Rx's in Brooklyn right now is like trying to lose weight in a sweet factory. I can only imagine how hard that is, with the unlimited access and all.
You have to envy yourself for taking the first step (not necessarily of the 12
) and admitting that you've got a problem with the opies and want to slow down/stop. That's good, because life's worth more than that. Your happiness is worth much more than to be spent on little magic pills, and your money is more wisely given to people/things other than dealers in the city who don't give a crap about you. You DESERVE better. Ya, the stuff can be fun from a time to time, for some people, but NOBODY deserves it escilating to this point. Nobody should lose a fraction of themselves to drug addiction. It happens and can be understood, but it's sad each time it does, really.
There's a rangement of treatment options to help someone in a situation like yours. It sounds to me like tapering down with your drug of choice (DOC) isn't realistic for you, given your temptations and previous ill-fated attempts to stop. I would only suggest this again if you have a few close people with you who absolutely will be there round-the-clock for you the first week or two and you have confidence that once the physical pull is gone, you won't give into the pyschological one. Again, though, probably not the best strategy.
I'd have a look around Bluelight for threads on Suboxone. Especially if your goal is to free yourself completely. Your doctor would be able to tell you more about this as well. This might be a bit pricier than other options, but is very effective for a lot with opiate problems. How about the chance of leaving Brooklyn for a few weeks to recover and get your head on track? Do you have family/friends elsewhere, who might take you in? Do you have the finances to get a way for a few weeks on your own?
There is always the idea of going to rehabilitation. Have you ever thought about that? No problem isn't "serious enough," remember that. If you know you need help, it is serious.
This won't be easy, but it will be rewarding. The greener grass wait for you in a month or two, Lansky, if you can get through the phase-out process. And if you're dedicated, you will. Right now you are stuck in a mentality that probably sees the greatest high points in life stemming from opiates being in your system, but that's just a ruise that the drugs draw up. Good 'ol life is still there for you on the other side. It's just kind of been on hold for a bit.
Let us know what you decide to do, when you decide to do anything, and of course if you have any more questions. I'm not an opiate expert, so if you wait a day or two, you'll probably get some better replies
