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HELP! Visual Snow, possible HPPD...am i screwed!?

I am definitely in the same boat as the OP. I have abused ecstasy pretty heavily for the past two years and after a binge a few weeks ago have had such severe problems with brain zaps, foginess, etc, etc that I've decided to stop using for at least a year, if not permanently.

Just as you described I have intense visual snow, disorienting brain zaps primarily triggered by vision shifts, lights unusually bright, bad short term memory, and so on. The fact that I took nearly 20 hits of acid while in a state of poor decision making three weeks ago isn't helping the situation either. Quitting cigs is one of the first changes I made when I decided to stop using drugs a few weeks ago and it DEFINITELY helps. Cutting down on the weed intake helps too, if you're a heavy toker like I am.

What I'd recommend more than anything is that you can take this situation as a wake-up call as I have and make some positive changes in your life. You only get one body, and I guess sometimes you cant really appreciate it until you realize you're messing it up. Stop now while you can. I've only felt better and better since I decided to as my body bounces back from that last binge, and I'm sure you will too.
 
AuraithX said:
You only technically have HPPD if you sustain from all drug usage for 6 months + and still have symptoms.
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True, I stopped doing E but kept smoking weed(although less) for over a year and any visual symptoms I had pretty much vanished.
 
I've had a lot of brainfog (feeling 'out of it', disconnected, memory feels shot, very similar to what you describe. Like I was stuck in a permamant comedown) and dissociation since I stopped using E/meth in october. I think it's very much related to my anxiety and my current health (getting over a nasty case of glandular fever).

I've found that after 3 months of abstinance things are slowly clearing up. Those first 4 months literally felt like I was stuck in a bad dream, but now it's slowly clearing up. I went from barely being able to go outside to being back to going out in public like normal, I can concentrate enough to read books again, I'm not constantly being hit by panic attacks, I've gained some sense of reconnection to my life and my identity.

I'm not sure if it's a part of my suspected anxiety (which I think was heavily aggravated by my MDMA use), but there's definately a correlation between the two, I find my symptoms almost fade entirely when I'm calm and happy, but when I get nervous or depressed or tired or have a panic attack then they ramp right back up.

It went on solidly for 3 months or so, then I started getting moments of clarity, like sunlight shining through the clouds after a long storm, it was 'omg, I feel alive again, I almost feel myself.' It wasn't justs switched on, I still had (and have) a lot of shitty days), but slowly these moments of clarity and normal functioning became longer and stronger and more frequant, and even my 'base' emotional state started moving back up again.

The thing I found that worked the most was just relaxing and acceptance. If I constantly payed attention to my mental condition, then I got wound up and angry and upset at myself and how I felt, which just worsened it and lead to panic attacks (omg I'm fucked I ruined my brain my life is over i was so stupid). When I managed to calm down and just ignore it I slowly started breaking out of the cycle, before that I was too tense to begin healing.

I've also been taking much better care of myself, as much to help recover from the glandular fever as the drug abuse symptoms. I've stopped taking substances entirely, absolutely nothing except OTC painkillers, which I'm not abusing and I'm slowly weening myself off. Started trying to eat healthier and taking vitamins and fish oil, and when my fatigue from the virus clears up a bit more I'm going to start some regular exercise.

So yeah, you're not without hope. The big thing I found is to start adressing your issues, physical, psychological. I know it's easier said than done. But MDMA puts a massive amount of stress on the body and mind, you have to give it a chance to repair itself.

Try not to stress too much, you just get anxious which will only amplify your symptoms. I made zero progress until I started calming down and stopped worrying about braindamage 24/7.

Most of all give it time. When it was at it's worst I was convinced it would last forever, I was borderline suicidal. I'm still not happy, but things are improving. Slow motion is better than no motion. If you've been taking drugs for years, you can't expect your brain chemistry to just revert back to normal overnight. It will take more than a day, or a week, or a month, but if you stay clean and positive and put in the effort, you CAN get better.
 
Apparently theres quite a few people who can get HPPD from MDMA. Alot of people have success with keppra and other anticonvulstant drugs in treating HPPD. Some even have full recovery. I've yet to begin my trial with keppra but i intend to very soon.

Just fyi to people who think they might be experiencing this. If your visuals have been with you for awhile then i would seek professional help. There ARE meds that help treat HPPD and i suggest you try to get some. Dont accept it and just figure "oh well thats what i get for doing drugs right!?" No one was meant to live like this. I dont intend on wanting to live with my Vs, trails, after images, light sensitivity for the rest of my life. And the general feeling that everything is fucked is called depersonalization/derealization. Its not pleasant at all and numerous members over at hpponline.com claim to have the DP/Dr and visuals start to let up once they've been on keppra long enough.
 
After years of over-indulging in MDxx substances, along with various tryptamines and phenethylamines, I believe I'm stuck with HPPD myself. I have trails, the visual snow, the static, the crawling patterns along flat surfaces, eye floaters, moving/flowing of objects(like blades of grass blowing in the wind, but in reality there is no wind),and other strange visual disturbances(well, I don't find them disturbing, honestly), and this has been going on since I was seventeen(I am 20 now). I also believe I have a much different pattern of thought than your average person, but who knows, maybe I've just lost my damn mind over the years.

Just my two cents.
 
stonedandrolling89 said:
After years of over-indulging in MDxx substances, along with various tryptamines and phenethylamines, I believe I'm stuck with HPPD myself. I have trails, the visual snow, the static, the crawling patterns along flat surfaces, eye floaters, moving/flowing of objects(like blades of grass blowing in the wind, but in reality there is no wind),and other strange visual disturbances(well, I don't find them disturbing, honestly), and this has been going on since I was seventeen(I am 20 now). I also believe I have a much different pattern of thought than your average person, but who knows, maybe I've just lost my damn mind over the years.

Just my two cents.
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you havn't lost your mind dude. Its a very real and serious disorder.
 
HPPD and hypersensitivity

Hey all,

I have mild HPPD-like symptoms including VS, easily-formed afterimages, floaters, easily seeing Blue-field phenomena, etc.

I think we all can agree that there is nothing wrong with our eyes. This was the first place to start. So I believe the problem is in visual processing. Would others describe feeling more anxious then before they had symptoms?

It seems to me that many of the symptoms are normal in the sense that the eyes pick it up, but is usually filtered out by the brain. I saw VS before I had HPPD, but it was filtered out 99% of the time. Now I am just more cognizant and aware. Floaters are also common, but like the blind spot, youre brain is supposed to eventually filter them out. But again, I am constantly aware of these. Blue-field phenomenon is also normal, but people with HPPD see it more. Light halos, trailers,
afterimages....again: normal to a certain extent, but we seem to be hyperaware of them.

Has anyone had any positive experience with anti-anxiety medication AND ceasing to concentrate on symptoms (including discussing on the web?)

If only there was a way to get rid of this hypersensitivity......
 
I haven't touch any chemicals for 4 years and my HPPD and visual snow is still pretty bad and hasn't improved as much as i hoped!
But don't worry it does improve and you learn to not notice it so much in time.

For me it is VS in very noticable looking at the sky, computer screen and at night. But looking at leaves and dark objects it is hardly noticable.
My vision is generally quite blurry and have floaters in each eye. But every now and then my vision can be 20/20, maybe 18/20 if you count the static!

The flickering, visual disturbances (objects moving etc), and massive oversensitivity to bright lights does get a bit better over time.

Has anyone who got their HPPD / visual snow completely recovered after MDMA use?

Would advise to cut down on the class A's, it's an accumilative effect, for me these symptoms happened the day after an E binge on the comedown then went away...... but after one saturday night after over indulging, it stayed permanently!
 
i have been getting trails driving around at night when i pass signs going down the road, they just kind of trail behind....

Im not too worried about it, i know that it may be an issue due to my drug use.... and i accept that....

I do think i might have HPPD, its not that bad and i dont get all worked up about it....
 
I used mdma every weekend for a few years and sometimes during the week. I can't say my snow vision is really any different to when I started. I thought my short term memory might be fucked but after nearly a year off even that seems to be going back to normal. You might be thinking about this all too much.

If in a few months it doesn;t bother you then yeah.

Btw the blue vision you mentioned intrest me, although iv never had it this it what it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanopsia
 
HPPD is a neurobiological disorder that is the cause of either a loss of post-synaptic GABAergic inhibitory interneurons located at the end fo the 5-ht2 serotonin receptors due to overexcitation. (these are the receptor sub types that are agonised by hallucinogens. This is what causes the hallucinations. However this theory is not as widely accepted now.)

Or the GABAergic receptors have been damaged/altered due to overexcitation caused by the drugs.

Anti-convulsant medications used to treat seizures have success rates with some individuals. Benzos show the most progress in treatment amongst HPPD patients.

Alot of work and research is being done currently on HPPD to figure out why it happens and how to treat it effectively.
 
sometimes i dont think its hppd,
sometimes i think it's just hightened senses from making your brain overactive all the time.
some people get disorders and hate life because they cannot handle that task...
 
ColinGibs said:
sometimes i dont think its hppd,
sometimes i think it's just hightened senses from making your brain overactive all the time.
some people get disorders and hate life because they cannot handle that task...
Click to expand...

haha heightened senses? Give me a break. You think seeing afterimages, trails, visual static is highetend senses? Those are symptoms of HPPD that provide no benefits. They are a henderance.

If the sense of sight was enhanced, you would not have annoying symptoms like those i've listed above.
 
What is this?

When I'm indoors in moderate to dim lighting, I see odd floater-like things on the walls. I don't think they are floaters, though... It's sort of like a diaphanous 'fabric' that falls over my field of vision. It's made up of cross-hatched 'threads' and is almost staticy. I've noticed it since using LSD. I was just wondering if anyone has experienced something similar? I don't think they're floaters... I have trails too... they're pretty bad, but I've just gotten so used to them that unless I read about HPPD I don't notice it. I've found that if I focus on HPPD I bug out way more easily XD I suppose fear breeds fear. The monster under your bed seems to get bigger the more you think about it.
 
I see after images, floaters, and blue lights in random places. Although the after images and blue lights are relatively new aspects of my life I have got really bad floaters 4 years prior to my abuse.
 
Hi Demon, why do you say that? Is this from experience?

I've had very similar symptoms to the OP, after total abstinence for almost 5 years i must say my symptoms have improved but have never gone away.
It still really does my head in!

Reading a computer screen was very difficult a few years back. I still get some crazy visual snow while looking at a blue sky especially, but is across my whole vision if i concentrate on it.
Also still get after images when looking away from bright things, and for some reason looking at complex patterns really screws my vision up.

The window blinds in my bathroom - if i look at them my eyes can't focus and dart about, i get some crazy after images for about a minute afterwards especially if sunlight shines through them!

Some days i can't focus my eyes at a distance, reading street signs are all blurry but some times i've almost got 20/20 vision. No pair of glasses will fix this!

Screwed for life? Maybe! I used to abuse heavily, feel sorry for kids today with the new generation of legal highs. Mephedrone, MDPV, naphyrone - god knows what sort of symptoms these will bring on to people who abuse it.

This thread is old, nice one to Demon for digging the grave, worth more discussion me thinks!;)
 
Floaters are little specks of debris floating through the vitreous fluid in the eyeball. Sometimes people may momentarily confuse them with dust or tiny insects floating across in front of the eye. However, they are within the eyeball and are not eliminated by rubbing the front of the eye
Under normal circumstances, eye floaters are absolutely nothing to worry about. Everyone experiences them from time to time and they cause no ill effects.
 
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