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Help....should i stay or run

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coldincanada

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Oct 10, 2015
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Well here is my story...... About 6 months ago i was out of town and bored so i went to see an escort. So i picked an agency and than picked a lady. Yes i have done this before a many times. I went to the incall and she opened the door and WOW she was amazing looking. And from her reaction she thought the same about me. To give you a clearer picture, I'm good looking and 90% of the time i see a call girl i get the same reaction and question "why do you see call girls?" and i say, and this is an honest answer, "i get a thrill out of having sex with women i don't know". Anyways, moving on......the session was mind blowing, the sex was amazing, the conversation was amazing, just instant chemistry... nothing like I've experienced before and believe me there were quite a few escorts. So at the end of the session, i asked for her number and she gave it to me with no hesitation. We started texting each other that night and haven't stopped since. Ive gone to see her in her city about once a month and she has even come to mine for a weekend, btw all money spent has been fifty fifty and shes not charging me for sex we honestly really like and care about each other, we have also gone on a week vacation together and it was perfect. She is still an active escort tho so we haven't given it a title as to what we are. I still have sex with other women in my personal life, she doesn't know that cause when i was honest about it once she got super mad and i was like are you serious have you forgotten what you do for a living. But she feels that she is having sex for money and not enjoying it and i am having sex cause i am enjoying it....... So i decided to just tell her I'm not having sex with anyone else and she says shes not having sex in her personal life, and for the record i really dont believe she is. I have started to go on review boards and look her up, Just saying if your in something like this DONOT go on review boards, from what i can read she is very good at her job and i ask her "how can you be so good at something you tell me you dont enjoy and you are only doing it for the money?" Reading the reviews are hard cause i feel like she is comparing me to these guys, but she swears shes not and i am the best shes ever had....Well that is as clear as i can make the background without writing an actual book. Now here's my delimea, she said she wants to quit the industry and goto to school and be with me. she gonna finish school in her city than come move to mine. She wants to quit this month and start a relationship with me, and i told her i would love that. Now suddenly i am having doubts with the fact of 'can i live with her past', after reading those reviews and being able to invision her in the act with other men is really eating at my brain. I really do care about her and she is super amazing person.... The question is..... What would you do? Or if your a regular lady or maybe an escort and have dealt with this before or just been in this situation, please give me some advice..... Thanks everyone, this is my first post cause i didnt know where else to go to talk about it..... And btw if i do commit to her after she quits i will no longer sleep around behind her back and be 100% honest that i have been sleeping with other women and hope she will understand.......
 
Well to answer your question properly you have to find a guy that actually goes with escorts and fall in love with one. Only then can you realistically answer your question and I dont think you will find many people in your shoe.

But if you want my humble opinion , first of all, all relationships are based on trust. You are already telling her lies. You don't love her, you don't respect her. You just want some nice meat. How can you lie to a person you truly love. And then you want to change her after you got her so you can fuck other girls. Sick. Read more about relationships and love.
 
^ Wow. Not sure where that post came from...

I think you realize the mistake now in reading the reviews. I think if you put your mind to it, you can get over what you read. There are likely to be similarities to how she is in bed with others to you, but you just have to remember that she ended up with you and not them.

I think a fair amount of guys have actually had this same situation play out and have had decent relationships come out of it. I'd say that if the relationship feels right other than this one hang up, it could be worth giving it a shot. On the other hand, if she's giving off signals that she might be a bit flaky and not genuinely committed to you, I'd be cautious.
 
Thanks for your insight Cash...... its just this one hang up for real everything else seems to be amazing and i dont find her flaky at all i just dont wanna let her make these changes and i find out i can forget about her past and end up hurting her..... such a hard decision.... still putting alot of thought in to it
 
Well I guess you won't know until you try. If she really is as amazing as you say then I think it's worth a shot. Sure, she certainly does have a "past" but I think that almost everybody has skeletons in their closet. On the other hand if I was in you're situation I don't know if I'd be able to get over it. To me there is no respect for a women who has sex for a living, but that's just me.
 
I dated a girl who was an escort.

Here's the thing. Keep your head. Listen to what you wrote. Don't be "that guy".

Dude she's an escort right now, she's not gonna quit. She's filling a role for you and you're filling a role for her. Keep love/future plans out of it.

It's tempting as fuck to say "fuck it, I know I'm getting played but she's filling that void."

She's a professional in a field where she has to keep her guard up, once that guard comes down just a little...fuck men become like their dad/friend/fwb/husband. Sometimes we can help but it'll be at our own expense.

All that said, after my time with my last girl, I'd do it all over again and not change much. It's companionship, it's sex, it's validation, so what if she's fucking other people.
 
Run far away.

People who currently are prostitutes or who were forced into prostitution and still are, are not people who you want as a partner, for a 'relationship', or to even tell yourself you're 'dating' them.
 
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OP, it was your choice to look at her reviews, and only you can choose to deal with your own insecurities by dealing with whatever feelings of inadequacy this brings up for you. Ask yourself: why did you look? What were you hoping to find? What's changed? Why do you find trust so difficult? Ultimately, the only one who is lying to anyone - the only one breaking anyone's trust - is you. If you want to make it work you'll have to take responsibility for your own issues instead of slut shaming her.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Run far away.

People who currently are prostitutes or who were forced into prostitution and still are, are not people who you want as a partner, for a 'relationship', or to even tell yourself you're 'dating' them.
Click to expand...

Whoa, judgemental much? Sex workers do have private lives, too, and private relationships which can be as healthy (or unhealthy) as anyone else's. They're obviously best partnered with people who don't have a problem with open nonmonogamy.

OP, it doesn't look like you're healthy for each other though. You're lying to her and have a problem with her job, and she demands you to be monogamous when she isn't (job or no job). Sounds like a train wreck in the making on the long run.
 
Dude WALL OF TEXT - please break it up into paragraphs...and punctuation is your friend.

To answer this question, I feel like this reads like a tale as old as time 'hooker who fell in love story' and I don't buy it for a second. Who even knows how many guys she has told this to? And then is obviously still hooking because that's how she met you. Every hooker wants to quit and go to school and blah blah blah.

Obviously, sex workers have personal lives, but that doesn't mean you have to be a part of it. Run.
 
i dunno maybe tell her that while she sleeps with men for money you two are not exclusive on either side

its pure hypocrisy to think it could be any other way.

when she give up the game thats when you can get serious with her.

end of really
 
SpaceSquirrel said:
Whoa, judgemental much? Sex workers do have private lives, too, and private relationships which can be as healthy (or unhealthy) as anyone else's. They're obviously best partnered with people who don't have a problem with open nonmonogamy.

OP, it doesn't look like you're healthy for each other though. You're lying to her and have a problem with her job, and she demands you to be monogamous when she isn't (job or no job). Sounds like a train wreck in the making on the long run.
Click to expand...

What I wrote is not being judgmental.

When someone's a prostitute they're forced into it, and it can be from a pimp, relative, so called "friend", other prostitutes, or because they're poor, or addicted to drugs.

The silly and pointless term 'sex worker' ignores the reality that women, and men and even children and trans people are forced into prostitution and sexually trafficked, raped, abused, and even killed.

If people want to have an open relationship that's fine; but attempting a 'relationship' with a prostitute is pointless especially when it's like the other people here posted you're being played by this woman for cash.
 
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PriestTheyCalledHim said:
What I wrote is not being judgmental.

When someone's a prostitute they're forced into it, and it can be from a pimp, relative, so called "friend", other prostitutes, or because they're poor, or addicted to drugs.
Click to expand...

Oh ok, my fault, this is not judgemental, just bullshit. 8)

I've been a sex worker for most of my adult life. None of the above applies to me, nor to most of the people I've worked with. I'm afraid I'm even having healthy realtionships - so do many colleagues that I know. A few are happily married to ex-clients, and not for the money. I don't know where you're getting your wisdom from, but trying to tell someone what their reality is supposed to be is considered presumptuous, abusive even, where I come from.

The silly and pointless term 'sex worker' ignores the reality that women, and men and even children and trans people are forced into prostitution and sexually trafficked, raped, abused, and even killed.
Click to expand...

Some are and some aren't, and a lot of the violence against sex workers is directly related to the stigma that generalizations such as yours are promoting.

If people want to have an open relationship that's fine; but attempting a 'relationship' with a prostitute is pointless especially when it's like the other people here posted you're being played by this woman for cash.
Click to expand...

We simply don't know if the OP is being played for cash. It sure happens (by sex workers and other people). Doesn't look like it to me in this case. Doesn't look like a healthy relationship to me either, as I already said, but not for that reason.
 
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Boupstarnm said:
I dated a girl who was an escort.

Here's the thing. Keep your head. Listen to what you wrote. Don't be "that guy".

Dude she's an escort right now, she's not gonna quit. She's filling a role for you and you're filling a role for her. Keep love/future plans out of it.

It's tempting as fuck to say "fuck it, I know I'm getting played but she's filling that void."

She's a professional in a field where she has to keep her guard up, once that guard comes down just a little...fuck men become like their dad/friend/fwb/husband. Sometimes we can help but it'll be at our own expense.

All that said, after my time with my last girl, I'd do it all over again and not change much. It's companionship, it's sex, it's validation, so what if she's fucking other people.
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nicely said
 
SpaceSquirrel said:
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Oh ok, my fault, this is not judgemental, just bullshit. 8)

I've been a sex worker for most of my adult life. None of the above applies to me, nor to most of the people I've worked with. I'm afraid I'm even having healthy realtionships - so do many colleagues that I know. A few are happily married to ex-clients, and not for the money. I don't know where you're getting your wisdom from, but trying to tell someone what their reality is supposed to be is considered presumptuous, abusive even, where I come from.



Some are and some aren't, and a lot of the violence against sex workers is directly related to the stigma that generalizations such as yours are promoting.



We simply don't know if the OP is being played for cash. It sure happens (by sex workers and other people). Doesn't look like it to me in this case. Doesn't look like a healthy relationship to me either, as I already said, but not for that reason.
Click to expand...

Being a prostitute, whore, or 'sex worker' is never a good thing and you're simply in denial, and everything I have posted is true.
 
Wow. That comment is quite dehumanizing. From someone who has been there. I was going to just PM the person who wrote the post with my opinion. But speaking on this response... I understand the way you feel but, it hurts to read that in the same way maybe hearing Faggot or Nigger would be like to well, you get my point.
 
If you get to know her better you should be able to figure out if she is using you or not. I don't think there is anything wrong with dating her.

On one hand, prostitutes can be very honest, often more so, than professional housewives as to why they are in any relationship. They are obviously with clients for the money. I imagine many men spend their entire married life not realizing their wives married not for love but to be supported as well.

As for dealing with her past, I have met some very nice women socially who are prostitutes. But I personally would be too jealous to be in a serious relationship with a professional sex worker.
On the other hand, a lot of people spend their teens and 20s sleeping with as many people as possible, and you would have to deal with that past as well.
 
There is no reason why you can't be in a relationship with someone in the sex industry. They are people as well. You have to be open and non-judgemental. It doesn't always mean that they come from a bad past or something. You have to trust her.

Not all people in the sex industry are forced into it. YES there are some who are. That is terrible!! But not everyone is.
 
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