Help me please... loosing it

[Magickduck]

Ok y'all... Really not sure whats going on here... I am a person with some OCD and anxiety, maybe a touch of schizoaffective... I have not had any diagnosis...

I am starting to feel really weird as of late... let me give you a bit of history... back in the day me and my fiance misued alot of research chemical analogues of mdma and of psychedelics... I spent nearly a year in an OCD fit swearing I had lymphoma for some reason - even though all doctors swore to me I was fine.. then after recovering after an LSD binge I started messin in the occult and that sent me for a ride - went completely insane worried about demons - thought I was telepathic (still do) for the past few years... however I am completely functional..

Anyway, usually I am a very happy individual - almost excessivly near to a manic point...

but lately (started after some trouble with the police - now serious paranoia and also this other symptoms) i have had serious anxiety either about the police or just a serious general feeling of restlessness..... and it is a physical sensation.. i have like serious excess energy in my hands and arms and I am like twitching and my hands like hurt until i move them... now I also have been doing benzos and opiates on occasion... i had some adderall a few weeks ago and that may have triggerred this... i never took the opiates or benzos for more than a few days in a row... so i doubt its widthdrawl.. always worried this could be a physical problem like either a brain tumor or some type of nerve or neurological damage... either that or this ridiculous paranoia but a while back I used a random used syringe and cut the needle off and used it to plug some drugs... any weird infections that i could have gotton I should be worried about?


anyway really loosing my mind with this excess energy and general feeling out of it... like i cant think and my brain is broken for no reason..
i will be out of it and my fiance complains i am not talking as much... i try to talk and stuff but my brain feels broken as I said... that plus the physical stimulation is a weird weird feeling... plus dp/dr...


i have been considering taking some nootropics... maybe to fix my brain up a bit and possibly help with anxiety ...i am kind of opposed to getting on psychiatric medicine as the side effects are bad but right now no matter what i have to do something - i cant take this shit...

 

[Magickduck]

i am like clehcning my jaw and fists and shit...

 

[tkizzzle]

Seems like ya never quite "came back" from one of those LSD binges. I see this in a lot of people that go on crazy binges with acid. Like nothing is the same as it was before al of these drugs started I'm guessing. Well good luck to ya bruh, hope everything works out.

 

[Serotonin101]

seems to me more like paranoid personality disorder along with obsessive compulsive personality disorder. certain drugs have been known to bring out latent mental disorders such as hallucinogens and mdma (and all their analogues). could also be bipolar and you're in a manic/even psychotic state. really high manias can lead to psychosis. of course I am not a mental health professional but I am a psych major with lots of knowledge of abnormal psych. definitely talk to a mental health professional so they can diagnose you with the proper disorders on the numerous axes there are. axis 1 is for main disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar, depression, substance abuse. axis 2 is for personality disorders which would be paranoid, obsessive compulsive personality, narcisistic, borderline, avoidant, antisocial (I pretty much fall into this one), etc. you need the diagnosis to start a treatment plan to improve quality of life. I believe I am bipolar 2 as I have hypomanic episodes, depressive episodes, baseline, and mixed episodes. I just don't get diagnosed for personal reasons and it doesn't affect my life too negatively.

 

[Magickduck]

Seems like ya never quite "came back" from one of those LSD binges. I see this in a lot of people that go on crazy binges with acid. Like nothing is the same as it was before al of these drugs started I'm guessing. Well good luck to ya bruh, hope everything works out.

definitly but the problem here is usually I am happy and a bit spunion, kinda tripping, but still happy now I am freaking out in some weird half-manic half paniced state... like i said after stressors with the police..

 

[Magickduck]

i may just wait it out.. last tiem i got some lyrica and that got me thru it... I don't want to go on any antipsychotics or anything major... even ssri's. also some of these nootropics are known to have anxiolytic effects...