TDS Help!! Girl Friend addicted to pain pills

[Layback76]

I came across this forum and it has really helped me out. My finance and I after 6 years split up, the last year of our relationship was hell. I noticed a big difference in the way she started to act. She began losing jobs, talking back to old boyfriends, and a big change in her attitude.

One day she asked me if she could borrow some money for medicine. I gave her the money, but a week later she was asking for money again for medicine. Now this whole time, she told me that someone she knew was addicted to pain pills and that she would sell some of her extras from time to time. So this time, I didn’t give her the money because I thought that she was just trying to sell them. She immediately got pissed, and told me, she would call another man if I didn’t give her the money. So we got into an argument from there, and she threw a phone at me and tore the house apart. I had never seen her act this way. So I made her leave and I knew after a day or so she would calm down and we would make up. But not this time, she called a day later, but she acted as if she didn’t give a damn about what she said or what she did. When I would try to talk about it, she would get off the phone.

So we decided to break up and from there she turned her whole family against me. So she moved back to her home town, but before she left, she finally calm down and we decided to spend some time apart and try to get things back together. So when I would call her this new change in her attitude got worst. She would always be really nasty to me and also not answer her phone most of the time. So a week later her sister called me and her family started to notice a change in her behavior. Her sister told me that she had stolen some pain pills from one of her family members. So when I asked her about it she claimed it wasn’t true and that she was not on drugs. So to make a long story short, this whole time I thought that we were going to work on our relationship. She has constantly lied to me, asked me to borrow money that I never got back, sold her engagement ring. Moved in with some low life guy that she has been lieing about. She also has stolen from her mother several times. Tried to run over her brother with a car. She stays distance from anyone that's trying to help her.

I tired to get her to come back home several times. She will tell me that she's coming on a certain day, but than I dont hear from her in days and she never shows up. I went to Houston to see her about a month ago. I noticed she had several open marks on her skin, like she has really been scratching her skin open in several places. She had also lost a lot of weight. She talked about coming back home and getting better, but you see none of this has happen. Please help, can anyone tell me if this sounds like she's on more than just pills, and what should I do from here on out. Thank you, God Bless!

 

[herbavore]

It doesn't matter so much whether she is on something else. The point is she is deep enough in that you no longer matter, nor does her family, more than whatever drugs she needs. Right now all you can do is to educate yourself about addiction, encourage her and let her know you care but then move on. If and when she decides to try to stop, you'll hear about it. Until then, you are better off emotionally separating yourself. I'm sorry. It's no doubt hell for her but it's hell on the outside, too.

 

[twotoomany]

Run, bro. Never look back. If she needs or wants your help when/if she decides to get it together, that's your call. A lot of times it's gotta get worse before it gets better. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I've been there. I'm sorry for all you're going through, man. It's a rough situation, made even rougher by the fact that there is little you can do until she's ready to be helped.

 

[HCandKROD]

Yeah, get as far away as you can from her. It'll hurt but don't loan her more money or give her anything. Withdrawal from painkillers is not fatal. It's tough but don't take her calls or anything. I have a sister exactly like this.She has sucked the life force out of everyone she comes in contact with. Too much drama for me. Best of luck.

 

[neversickanymore]

^^ I think the posts above have it.. Like they say you cant save her and will only get crushed if you try. Tell her you love her and will have nothing more to do with her because of her addiction. Then move on and try and heal.. if you guys are "supposed to be together," it will hapn. stick to your guns and move on. Wish you both the best of luck.

 

[dopemaster]

RUN dont walk. Id be willing to bet if you talk to her she would say she wanted to get back together just to get in your house or car for the purpose of stealing. IME most people will do damn near anything when they are strung out. She already emotionally blackmailed you by saying she would call another man for money in the past when you were sharing a bed. Like the guy before me said if its meant to be she will get clean and find you. And by clean I dont mean "going to the clinic tomarrow" or "picked up a white chip at AA". I mean clean and has her stuff together. Ask yourself "do i deserve to be treated like this". This is coming from someone who uses. And it dont matter what shes on pill wd is just as nasty as smack. Sounds like shes on amphetamines, crack, or opiates. But that does not matter, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. People may want to get clean, but are not ready, and people may claim to want to be clean just to fuck you over. Your letting her disease of addiction make you sick. She obviously is past the point of "do the drug, dont let the drug do you". When I see this happen to a person I dont reach out, I cut off contact. I was in your shoes once, very similar story. So if you love her let her go and see if she comes back. If you care about her this much: I am sure both you deserve and will find someone who will care about you the same. Then this currant woman will be but a memory of the time you got played for a fool.

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

RUN dont walk. Id be willing to bet if you talk to her she would say she wanted to get back together just to get in your house or car for the purpose of stealing.

^This. I know that it would be hard for you, and you still hold strong feelings for her, but be careful. She may turn around and use you when she has nowhere to go. She's screwed over you and her family, there is no way you can help her right now.

 

[T. Calderone]

Stay away from this girl. She has evidently slipped into drug abuse and it's shitty that she made you look like an asshole to save face for her family. You can't help her and neither can her family. She's got to get help on her own. You should stop calling her because she will just keep using you. Let her go.

 

[Layback76]

Thank you and everyone else for the support. This has really been helping me, through out this whole situation between her and I. I went though some really hard times and depression. And this is the encouragament I really need right now.

 

[Sepher]

It's all been said really. You need to seperate yourself from this girl and this situation for your own good. It might be for her good too so don't feel too bad about it. Sometimes an addict needs the space to fall, and often they'll push those around them away so they can anyways. What you do is leave her a way back ( if you are so inclined ) for when the crash comes and she tries to pick herself back up and start moving forward again. She may need you then. For now it seems all she needs is the drugs.

 

[flowerchyld]

just a few tips..

first and foremost, STOP GIVING HER MONEY! nothing at all. that will only make you an enabler. if you still care about her, make she she knows you care about her wellbeing first and foremost. tell her you may not have experience dopesickness before but assure her you know it is probably the worst physical and mental pain anyone will ever encounter, but does she really want to do feel that everyday her whole life? a few hours after shes high? wouldnt she rather be dopesick for 3 days to a week at most and NEVER FEEL DOPESICK AGAIN? theres things out there that can help her when shes sick. tell her her options - she can go to a methadone clinic, a detox, a hospital, a psychiatrist for suboxone, she can even do an at home detox but make sure she ha someone with her to make sure she doesnt score and watch for suicidal tendencies. there are things that can help ease a withdrawal and help the detox. look up the thomas recipe. i know its not recommended for the addictive thing but using benzos or ambien for one week can make the withdrawal a WHOLE lot better and a week will not get u addicted to them. hope this helps.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

She just needs rehab but it's sad because she needs to realize she has a problem and want to get help. You just need to focus on yourself and try to heal from this experience. It's best to cut off all ties from her until she checks herself into rehab.