addict? Ex addict? Newbie? Yeah, that works - the last one. Glad to be a member.
History: I did a lot of substances in my younger years. My rule of thumb was "try it once to know what it's like and walk away." Pretty easy to do until I met Lady H. Started my habit at 19 and knew I was losing control so I stopped - for 20 years. Now, as a professional adult with a family, I found her again and remembered what I was missing. I ended up stopping with the help of subs after a 4 year run. Then after situations related to "aging (?)" was legally prescribed all the opies I wanted. After two years I tapered, first with methadone then with suboxone and have been clean for over 6 months.
So here I am. I enjoy reading all of your stories and have so often wanted to weigh in to share my experiences of offer support and now I can.
And no, I'm not a bad mommy. I just carry a lot of guilt with me as the past 8 years or so I feel I should have done so much more than I did, been in their "moment" and not wrapped up in mine - searching, calling, scoring, using, being sick. My children never knew, and never went without, but those are my regrets that I carry with me and thus my user name.
Thanks for reading and hoping to be a helpful, contributing member --
B
History: I did a lot of substances in my younger years. My rule of thumb was "try it once to know what it's like and walk away." Pretty easy to do until I met Lady H. Started my habit at 19 and knew I was losing control so I stopped - for 20 years. Now, as a professional adult with a family, I found her again and remembered what I was missing. I ended up stopping with the help of subs after a 4 year run. Then after situations related to "aging (?)" was legally prescribed all the opies I wanted. After two years I tapered, first with methadone then with suboxone and have been clean for over 6 months.
So here I am. I enjoy reading all of your stories and have so often wanted to weigh in to share my experiences of offer support and now I can.
And no, I'm not a bad mommy. I just carry a lot of guilt with me as the past 8 years or so I feel I should have done so much more than I did, been in their "moment" and not wrapped up in mine - searching, calling, scoring, using, being sick. My children never knew, and never went without, but those are my regrets that I carry with me and thus my user name.
Thanks for reading and hoping to be a helpful, contributing member --
B
Heroin sure can capture anybody by surprise, and I know from talking to people, the worst part of it is years later when you forget how much you miss it. I think that you would love to come check out The Dark Side, the link is in my signature. If you haven't seen it, we have a large discussion of mental health, and above all health caused by addictions of drugs, the dark side of drug use if you will, thus the name. I personally love to spend a lot of time in The Dark Side, it's a great place to go when you're down, and it is by far the most supportive group of people that you will find anywhere on the web. Best of luck, and please PM me if you need to. 
