Hi just joined this site in case I ever fall off the wagon and need medical advice.
Anyway I started smoking heroin habitually about 2 years ago. As with many other addicts I'm sure, for me at first it wasn't such a big deal. Then I dropped out of college, and a girl I was in love with at the time basically told me to screw myself. On top of that a whole bunch of family shit came down on me at that time to. Now I'm not making excuses and I'm not blaming anybody. Its my own damn fault that I started in the first place. After all tons of people get dumped everyday, face family troubles and don't start doing heroin. But I'm just saying sometimes life just throws you a whole bunch of shit at once and all one can do sometimes is to try and find the easy way out. I thought heroin would be that easy way out but it just led me into a even harder existence. Not that I didn't have some good times as well. But I gotta say the bad times far out weighed the good. Anyway I eventually started shooting up and that is where things started getting really bad. I never stole from anybody or did anything I would be ashamed of for the rest of my life. I'm proud it never got that far. But I did borrow a lot from friends and family, for that I am a little ashamed. Eventually I realized I was fully addicted and made a choice to quit for what must have been the tenth (and hopefully last) time. I didn't go to rehab mainly because I couldn't afford it. And instead of wheening myself off or buying suboxone off fellow addicts I went cold turkey. Been clean now for about 4 months but sometimes I still think about it. Especially when life gets tough. But now I finally realize what wiser men than me have known for thousands of years. Life is suffering. And if we didn't suffer we would never learn a thing. And while some people may pray or wish for themselves not to suffer in life. I now know that it is better to pray for the strength to bear that suffering with courage and dignity.
Anyway I started smoking heroin habitually about 2 years ago. As with many other addicts I'm sure, for me at first it wasn't such a big deal. Then I dropped out of college, and a girl I was in love with at the time basically told me to screw myself. On top of that a whole bunch of family shit came down on me at that time to. Now I'm not making excuses and I'm not blaming anybody. Its my own damn fault that I started in the first place. After all tons of people get dumped everyday, face family troubles and don't start doing heroin. But I'm just saying sometimes life just throws you a whole bunch of shit at once and all one can do sometimes is to try and find the easy way out. I thought heroin would be that easy way out but it just led me into a even harder existence. Not that I didn't have some good times as well. But I gotta say the bad times far out weighed the good. Anyway I eventually started shooting up and that is where things started getting really bad. I never stole from anybody or did anything I would be ashamed of for the rest of my life. I'm proud it never got that far. But I did borrow a lot from friends and family, for that I am a little ashamed. Eventually I realized I was fully addicted and made a choice to quit for what must have been the tenth (and hopefully last) time. I didn't go to rehab mainly because I couldn't afford it. And instead of wheening myself off or buying suboxone off fellow addicts I went cold turkey. Been clean now for about 4 months but sometimes I still think about it. Especially when life gets tough. But now I finally realize what wiser men than me have known for thousands of years. Life is suffering. And if we didn't suffer we would never learn a thing. And while some people may pray or wish for themselves not to suffer in life. I now know that it is better to pray for the strength to bear that suffering with courage and dignity.
