MissJunkie
Greenlighter
Hi everyone! I've been to Bluelight numerous times over the last couple of months while researching Methylphenidate. It's always one of the top search suggestions and I've learned a lot reading the threads so I figured I might as well join. I have to admit, it's kinda nice having a place to talk where I'm not going to be judged or told I need rehab. Maybe I do, but that's beside the point. lol Hey, we all have our vices...who are we to judge? 
I'm a freelance graphic designer, former mortgage loan officer (bad housing market = no steady income), & mother of 3. I was diagnosed as bipolar years ago but hated the med cocktails they doped me up with so went off everything cold turkey. I've always self medicated though, and find it works much better for me than what the supposed "experts" tell me I should take. Dunno if I'm really bipolar or if the diagnosis was thrown at me cuz it was the cool thing to have, but whatever...I am what I am. I was prescribed Methylphenidate a few months back for ADHD and it has been my best friend ever since. I began taking it as directed, had the dosage raised a few times, then was introduced to the joys of insufflation. In the beginning, at the lower doses, it did actually help with my focus, but once my body became dependent on it for energy as well, that was when things changed. Eventually I realized it also affected my moods tremendously, especially after it went in my nose.
I've tried pretty much every drug out there. Never used a needle. Never plan to. No problem with anyone who does & no fear of them myself. I just know my personality and that's a level I DON'T wanna take myself to. Since the Methyl I've tried Adderal, which didn't seem to give me the same euphoria, which I find odd because most people say they get more of that from it. I've also done a little coke, although I'm not as crazy about it as I am the Methyl either. I prefer a longer lasting high with a less extreme crash. All I really want to do is maintain, not fly high as a kite. Now I'm attempting to maintain a somewhat normal mood more than anything else. Had I known the permanent damage this stuff would do to my brain, especially as someone who has struggled with mood swings and depression, I may have thought twice before using it. But it works for now. I've continuously had to increase my dose to more than prescribed and when I run out it's pure misery, but I deal. What else can we do?
Glad to have a place to talk, vent, ask questions, without fear of judgement. It's nice to meet you all. I hope to talk to you soon!
I'm a freelance graphic designer, former mortgage loan officer (bad housing market = no steady income), & mother of 3. I was diagnosed as bipolar years ago but hated the med cocktails they doped me up with so went off everything cold turkey. I've always self medicated though, and find it works much better for me than what the supposed "experts" tell me I should take. Dunno if I'm really bipolar or if the diagnosis was thrown at me cuz it was the cool thing to have, but whatever...I am what I am. I was prescribed Methylphenidate a few months back for ADHD and it has been my best friend ever since. I began taking it as directed, had the dosage raised a few times, then was introduced to the joys of insufflation. In the beginning, at the lower doses, it did actually help with my focus, but once my body became dependent on it for energy as well, that was when things changed. Eventually I realized it also affected my moods tremendously, especially after it went in my nose.
I've tried pretty much every drug out there. Never used a needle. Never plan to. No problem with anyone who does & no fear of them myself. I just know my personality and that's a level I DON'T wanna take myself to. Since the Methyl I've tried Adderal, which didn't seem to give me the same euphoria, which I find odd because most people say they get more of that from it. I've also done a little coke, although I'm not as crazy about it as I am the Methyl either. I prefer a longer lasting high with a less extreme crash. All I really want to do is maintain, not fly high as a kite. Now I'm attempting to maintain a somewhat normal mood more than anything else. Had I known the permanent damage this stuff would do to my brain, especially as someone who has struggled with mood swings and depression, I may have thought twice before using it. But it works for now. I've continuously had to increase my dose to more than prescribed and when I run out it's pure misery, but I deal. What else can we do?
Glad to have a place to talk, vent, ask questions, without fear of judgement. It's nice to meet you all. I hope to talk to you soon!
