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Hello everyone! Glad to meet you all.

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GoldFox

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2014
Messages
4
Hello!

I have beem a long time stalker on this site and finally decided to register. I am a tooter looking to quit a few years habit, hopefully with the support from the wonderful people here. I live in a small community so NA is unfortunately not possible for me as I do not like the idea of someone from my town knowing. I am a life time toker who will not quit from eating disorders when I was younger and insomnia. Plus, just love it.


I have two wonderful dogs, a little Black and Tan coonhound mix and a big giant 100lb blue pit who will forever be my lap baby. They are my reason to quit as I miss traveling and want to take them with me. I miss doing it for fun and not to keep from feeling ill. I hope to travel the country with them instead of forking out money to my habit.


I am happy to meet you all and welcome everyone with open arms! I work third shifts so my replies may be off and a tad bit slow.
 
Thank you! Plan on quitting around +/-30mg of opies daily for about four years.

I have a knee of a 75 year old after getting in a bad wreck where my ex tried to kill me when I was 16. After healing through all that I used my scripts for fun, got them taken away for a few years and took to the streets for fun again after that.

I know it won't be as bad as it could be but I have a hard time kicking habits. I was clean for a month a year ago but picked back up from recurring kidney stones and then went back on them.
 
Thank you, friend! It took me years to get over it, not for the fact I almost died but that it also ruined my soon-to-be professional ballet career.

I am going to start tapering tomorrow and while I still get a good feeling from every toot toot it is more the boredom aspect that gets me instead of the ickness.

I know I can do this, must keep telling myself that. If I fudge up a long the way I know I have people here that will tell me it is alright and that it will happen along the road. (:

Stay positive and not beat myself up over it.
 
Glad to have you here! Sounds like quite the traumatic past you have there, good thing you went through it. I have a brother in law with similar knee condition, except he managed to worsen it by squatting in spite of his condition, don't go there.

Welcome.
 
Welcome to Bluelight:)

I too have had opiates prescribed since an incident that happened at work involving my leg and heavy beams falling over.
Now im on Suboxone its actually pretty good on my pain i also have a bad back and a painful stomach condition so pain is daily.

Hope you find some use out of this site and enjoy your time here as much as i have:)
 
Welcome to Bluelight! I`m on day 4 no oxy - was at 60-80mg per day...although I`m sad as it feels like I`ve somehow lost a friend (sad I know). Today I actually feel pretty good. Exhausted physically and emotionally but good. (I also have an extremely hard time quitting things) I`ve smiled several times and have gotten emotional over stuff that a normal girl would haha. I fractured my spine in a boating accident several years ago and was prescribed for the pain. When I switched doctors and couldn`t get anymore I also went to the streets. I worked a very demanding 7 day a week job 10+ hrs per day...I couldn`t feel pain...it wasn`t an option. I tried to taper down but lets be real...it`s always ok I`ll start tomorrow so today I`ll go hard one last time. NOPE...same thing happens the next day and your intake increases. If you are disciplined and can do it by all means it`s the easiest way to do it but also prolongs the inevitable. I ended up going to the doctor for help. She prescribed up to 20mg hydromorphone per day at 4 hr intervals and then we were going to meet and start tapering. Second day taking them i just said screw it. Why prolong this...I just want to feel something ASAP. My bf said to me on each day - is it worth it - are you having fun...because you have earned this. Not in a malicious way at all but just so I could remind myself that I kind of did this to myself and any time I want to take them again I will remember the hell I lived. He has been the best support and as the days go on I feel like I`m going to owe him my life after this.
I also dont want to do NA at risk of seeing someone I know that could affect my professional life.
I personally wouldn`t go the SUB or methadone route...Just remember that you can do it. By the end of the hellish first and 2nd day...you`re almost done with the worst part. For my pain I have been taking very weak NSAID`s like Naproxen and Toradol. I was taking everything and anything to help sleep but last night I decided to go it alone except for a tea that a lovely Italian woman gave me a recipe for to naturally clear the nervous system, help with pain and sleep - I SLEPT A WHOLE 4.5 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways...if you have any questions or just need to chat it`s time for me to pay it forward!!!

PS - your ex tried to kill you´-WHAT!!!!
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your ballet career that never came to be

I have a friend who had a really tragic accident and it messed up their ability to continue their physical activity based career

So I just wanted to say that I know how hard it can be to lose an opportunity in life

However I know that you're a talented person, so know you're still able to excell at things, even if ballet isn't as physically possible for you now. <3

Did your ex go to jail/prison for the attempted murder?
 
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