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Hello all - new member here; dope lover!

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
1,256
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Hi all! I've been reading the board forever but decided to join the other day when reading a bit more into the board and finding out what more people are up to. I have also noticed that I need 50 posts until I can start blogging, so I'd like to get to that 50 ASAP! I think I would enjoy a daily blog about my life; a truthful blog about my life, the drugs taken, what I am doing/have did that day, etc. I think reading it will actually help me get clean. Although, over the past few weeks, I've been the cleanest in a long time! Well, trying to get cleanest. but def. a positive road just finding out the best car to drive down this road, maybe some short cuts on this road, etc. im sure you get what I mean?

anyway, hello! I'm Matt.. and I'm a dope fiend. :?
 
can def. be done. i somehow went 6 years clean and BOOM, back on for the last 3. those 6 years had alot to do w/ the law (maybe 3) and the other 3 were myself. still amazed i did it because it just seems so much harder this time around.
 
Fellow newbie BLer and not so newbie dope fiend here. Its the most difficult thing...it seems so simple - just 4 days and youre good ..but no, its NEVER that simple. Couldnt make it past a day without subs.
 
subs never did it for me. thats why I just stayed away and went the days w. zip. i had subs on hand but just went cold turkey instead. i never understood those who took subs, got high on subs, etc. they never seemed to do a thing for me; whether it was me taking 1/4 or a 16MG a day. always pushed me back to dope; only problem was, maybe it was blocking me. but the urge was still there and I still didnt feel "good" or away from withdrawals. today I did a gram but I've been on/off as of late. like I said in another post, I went about 9 days a week or so ago. went through the withdrawals. used after 9 days. then went another 3-4 days and felt OK. used again. then went another 3-4 days and felt fine. and used again today. i understand its not easy to QUIT but I am thinking the SHOT that will last a month or so. or hopefully I can kick it completely myself or I would have never done what I have been doing over the last few weeks. prior I was doing 2-3G's daily (at my best) and sometimes 1G if I could not afford or needed the cuff that day. the gram today got me jammed but my tolerance still seems to be pretty high even w/ my sober runs (if you want to call 9, 4, 4 days off sober runs). but hey, those 9 were probably the longest I have went in 3 years. also, those 4 and 4 days are also the longest I have gone in years. I am trying here, every which way possible, so I look at in a positive way.
 
i sure have. i am surprised that opiates does not have it's own section considering it's #1 here in the US (or damn near close to it if not). over the last few days I am trying to hit all forums and get involved to the best of my ability. as mentioned, I've been a reader of the board for sometime but just signed up the other day. I am in that "recovery" attempt and thought joining and getting my thoughts/ideas (terrible ones, obviously) out there may help a bit. I am even going to start a blog once I get my 50 posts. You'd think I'd try to get that 50 post count much faster but I dont want to chime in on every thread without a legitimate reason to. I dont want to be on of "those guys", ya know!? ha.
 
Oh well if you're into the recovery aspect as well you should check out the Recovery Support section we have TDS which has a lot of social threads, general support threads, we also have Sober Living.

Feel free to create your own thread in SL if you'd like to record your progress or get feedback. We also have a cravings thread, a getting/staying clean thread (to post your progress). You can actually get your post count up quite fast by just posting in a few threads with legitimate responses. It's a pretty fun little community we have. You can also introduce yourself in the Sober Living or TDS social.

<3
 
thanks for the advice. i am def. checking it out. reading as my posts as i can. doing whatever i can to become more attached to the board itself and become more attached to "recovery" itself. glad to finally being around people who understand "recovery" is not as easy as others seem to think it is. sure, i def. blame myself.. but fuck.. i am doing quite well (in my eyes) for someone who is coming off a ripping addiction to the dope scene. 9 days to kick the Independence, some use, 4 days after that, 1 day use, 4 days after that, 1 time use, and then 4 days after then.. and HALF the use today and still TRYING from here. next week I am checking in w/ my out patient Dr. to see if if i can get on Vivitrol shot to help stop the overall usage. trying here people, wish the parents, GF and rest of the relationships I have could realize I am FUCKING TRYING! i wanna see them go from the 3 gram a day habit I had to kicking it completely at home solo and then going every 3-4 days from there. sure, it's TERRIBLE cuz I still do it but HELL i even give myself a pat on the back from here. i am hoping to soon get off it completely. sad tho, cuz if it were free would i still be on it? absolutely. thats my MAIN PROBLEM and its something i still try to fight/figure out. i should want off for so many others reasons not just the price. thats my MAJOR concern.
 
It's dificult in the real world I've found because there are programs like AA/NA but they a stringent or they can't fit into schedules easily. Having an online forum that doesn't have those boundaries or people spitting out rules of how to get clean rather than just merely offering support for whatever option you find best for your recovery is helpful, I think atleast. It works for me.

Here are a few threads I think would benefit you in our Recovery Support section:

August getting/staying clean thread in here you basically post your progress for the day. How you're doing. Whatever you want to do. Just progress or setbacks. Let it all out.

Craving v. Hold on thread post here when you're having a craving. Talk it out. You'll receive support. You can also give support (and I have also found that to be something very rewarding and beneficial to my own sobriety.)

How are you feeling in one word thread just post how you're feeling. It helps to get it out.

Share something positive from your day thread share something positive, a picture, a thought, anything. It feels good :).

TDS Social thread, it's a social thread. Get to know some people, make friends. Feel like you belong to something and are loved and supported <3.

Be advised we do not glorify drugs at all in those sections. Other than that I think you will enjoy them and the sense of community and friendship really is a boost :).

I think by posting in those threads you'll start getting attached to recovery and have a sense of support. <3
 
after reading all that that maybe its sometihg I should loooook way more intoooooooo. because even sober I am starting to fight more and more with the in-house GF? maybe shouldn't change change as time and time goes on... hopefully. who knows, what i do know is NOTHING BUG THE BEST...

GO SOBRIETY>>>
 
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