heavy obama sigh...

after shooting up 2 bags and eating 2mg of xanax i threw on some breaking bad (the DVDA of my world...)
too bad the episode sucked...

nod out...


6 hours later

LEO LEO!!!! WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!


KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!!

i shouldn't have let her in... but ofcourse i did...

"you better start explaining" regarding my 1,100 i spent... on myself...

well... i'm almost 23, you moved out and left me at the worst possible time, when i say i need space, i need some FUCKING space...


so then after screaming " I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT" for about 5 minutes, she informs me my mother will be here shortly

MY WHAT??!?!??!? YOU HAD MY MOTHER COME ALL THE WAY FROM WATSEKA!?!?!?!

DRIVEN BY A DRUNK DRIVER TO DO WHAT EXACTLY?!?! CALL ME A FUCKUP!?!?!


so no... my mothers shitfaced... oh my baby oh my baby...

i slipped, yea, i used, but... jesus... terrible timing..

my mother and i get into it... she abandonded me and had a terrible problem with cocaine, so i finally told her how much she hurt me..

im sure she knew, shes not dumb...

my gf is yelling at me for yelling at my mother (she lost her mother at a young age and just dreams of having a mother, whereas my mother is more or less crazy now, on xanax 24/7 and alcohol too, so i yell at her when she yells at me...)

i'm too angry for this...



I ASKED HER FOR SPACE, I SAID I WOULD CALL HER LATER, SHE HAS MY MOTHER COME OVER, AND CALLS MY FATHER TOO...

i just wanted space...

if she loved me, if she was concerned for me, she would have someone come check on me, or something like that, but no... she breaks my screen door knocking, demands an explination...

if you loved me, wouldn't you be happy i was ok!?!??! if you just called my father telling him i was ODing?!?!? for NO REASON!!!!

so, this pisses her off, and she swung at me, in front of my mother, they almost get into a fight...


she then runs off screaming "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF"

I CHASED HER DOWN THE ALLEY TWO BLOCKS BAREFOOT, she thought she lost me, she slowed down, kneeled down, and wrapped something around her neck, i immediatly restrained her as i asked some on-lookers to call 911 as she screams

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?! which is why i have the image of being abusive...


*heavy sigh*


so, she is still at large, and possibly going to kill herself...

i have no money... and i'm going to need some for my suboxone appt tomorrow, which only takes cash, so if my father does not trust me with cash, i'm going to have to steal it from somewhere... and i dont steal, so im gonna get caught...



omg seriously


just one fucking day!!!! without this shit!!!



please god please!@
 
Click to expand...
rachamim
In New York single adults are allowed to get on Medicaid, if they need it. Medicaid pays for Suboxone as well as Methadone (as well as inpatient detox). It would be a lot better if all American States did the same. Addicts should be given treatment upon demand though, if that really happened they wouldn't need Medicaid. As for your day...Why would anyone stay with a person who raises their hand towards them? As for her ordering you to treat your mother better because she had no mother...One should ignore their mother if they aren't able to respect her...but...well if I offered an honest take on it I would offend you by insulting the girl. Anyway, the inference is that you realise the situation you are in is dysfunctional. You don't need someone else to say the same thing.
 
leojay
no, the girl can't be insulted anymore, im done with her... i was scared of beign alone, but fuck it, she has never let me live my addiction down, and it led back to me using, not directly, but she was never once optimistic about my recovery. fuck her
 
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