Begin the OP hasn't come back maybe I can answer some of these as I was scripted this before for sleep.
Mirtazapine, when used for sleep, is a very odd drug. Yes it will knock you down but it isn't like a benzo or the z-drugs at all. It gives you the most insane, wacky, and just plain crazy dreams you've ever had. I'd compare those to delirium because you're nearly lucid (not enough so that you know you're dreaming) and the dreams are just so odd....
Some examples:
- Looked for my father for hours while he randomly appeared behind stuff in my bedroom, waved, then hid behind whatever object. I'd go look behind the object just to see him somewhere else.
- Ran a con on my grandmother and convinced her to give me xanax and Tussionex a little at a time. This dream felt like it went on for weeks, because I was saving what she gave me for like a week to get high on it on Fridays. I dunno, don't ask me, as far as I know she isn't even scripted those anymore.
- Robbed a gas station (something I've never done or would do) with two friends that I have not seen in 5 years. We had a big shoot-out and everything.
- Helped my friend fix his truck, that he sold about 10 years ago.
- Had sex on the moon (this one was alright).
Anyway you see my point, the dreams are enough to get anyone to think twice before taking this stuff. I only take it as a last resort these days. I still have a bottle from two years ago with about 10 tabs in it.
Another concern in price, I won't give you an exact number but lets just say this stuff doesn't come cheap if you don't have health insurance.
Finally, the effects you get if you take it everyday. About two weeks in it starts putting me in a "manic" state of mind and I'm just not me... Again, this is enough to make you think twice about taking it.
I also took myself off of it, and told the doctor I was doing so. He didn't complain because it was like the third anti-depressant I had tried taking for sleep, all of them having bad side effects. Don't even get me started on trazadone...
To the OP: If you're like me, you might have to face reality and start considering a benzo or z-drug for your problems. Some of us are just in that group I'm afraid. If you have a regular doctor he should be more than willing to try something like a benzo if you've gone through the anti-depressant dance already. Just make sure you give this stuff at least a month to work its way out of your system. I was not on it as long as you, but I was on it long enough to feel the effects of it begin constantly in my system and like you I did not like it one bit. You're not "perma-fried" by any means, it'll just take some time before the chemical balance in your brain returns to normal.
I am not a doctor and my sleeping problems are a direct result of brain trauma. Don't assume my situation is anything like yours or that I know what I'm talking about.
One last bit of advice: If you go on benzo's or a z-drug try not to take it every night. Use it as a last resort. I'll pull 48 hour wake cycles before I even think about taking a xanax these days.
