He wants to be friends

[Rollingrrl]

[Yeah this is also in my journal. It came out much more flowing than I thought it would. I was just ranting and it because something more interesting than a rant. I figured its worth sharing so here goes.]


Well guess we're back to square one huh? Its not like I spent the last four months trying desperately to stop loving you and start hating you. I was really good at pretending to hate you and not love you anymore.

but now you wanna be friends and call me those sweet sappy petnames that turn my bones to pudding. I CAN NOT allow myself to love you again yet it doesn't matter because I was never able to stop in the first place.

I don't think this is a good idea. Its better for me if we keep our distance. I'm not strong enough to deny you but if I give in and become yours again, you'll destroy me utterly.

You won't mean to of course, but you will. My life blood will seep out slowly through the cracks in my heart, the ones you put there. So fuck being friends!

I don't care if I'm taking the easy road and turning my back on this impossible love that I can't stop feeling. Fuck you and your friendship.

I'm going on alone.

 

[neverwas]

...sometimes being alone is better than being in an unhappy relationship...

 

[haste]

 

[Rollingrrl]

well little update, I caved in. we're talking again. so expect lots of angry poetry directed at myself. I'm so happy to be talking but I'm already preparing for the worst.