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Having a long term relationship and being an adfict to hard drugs

E

EphemeralOutlet141

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Dec 11, 2014
Messages
66
I need some help here BL. My girlfriend recently found out that I've been doing heroin instead of suboxone and lost her shit. Yeah that doesn't sound abnormal, but I've been addicted to drugs just as bad for much longer and she's had no issues. I can't seem to get her to remove her judgment from the situation, I know exactly how she's thinking. She's afraid I'll kill myself.

I've been suffering from extreme lower back pain from past jobs and have scoliosis, I'm in pain 24/7 and my tolerance demands H, oxy, methadone, or other hard shit. I've tried to explain it, but I was given an ultimatum. Her or it.

I love my girl to death and I see a future with her, but she's making pain relief hell for me and bossing me around in a house that I SOLELY pay for. All the bills, rent, her food, everything. I basically sustain her way of life.

But can I have both? Probably not but I'm asking anyways...
 
devilsgospel said:
I need some help here BL. My girlfriend recently found out that I've been doing heroin instead of suboxone and lost her shit. Yeah that doesn't sound abnormal, but I've been addicted to drugs just as bad for much longer and she's had no issues. I can't seem to get her to remove her judgment from the situation, I know exactly how she's thinking. She's afraid I'll kill myself.

I've been suffering from extreme lower back pain from past jobs and have scoliosis, I'm in pain 24/7 and my tolerance demands H, oxy, methadone, or other hard shit. I've tried to explain it, but I was given an ultimatum. Her or it.

I love my girl to death and I see a future with her, but she's making pain relief hell for me and bossing me around in a house that I SOLELY pay for. All the bills, rent, her food, everything. I basically sustain her way of life.

But can I have both? Probably not but I'm asking anyways...
Click to expand...

I can see both sides, but if I'm honest, I don't think it works in the long term. If she doesn't end it your addiction will probably destroy it. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm one of a great many to experience a lot of pain losing someone I love because of my addiction, and on the other side there's the one I love who's say he lost the woman he loved because of her addiction. It happens. And it hurts.
 
so she pays for nothing but tells you what to do?

obviously heroin is a bullshit life and the evidence for opiates and backpain long term is poor and not really justifying of their use

after a while you get tolerant and then it escalates

basically just cos you buy her in effect does not mean she has to stay with you. if she cannot see a future with the behaviours you are displaying then she probably should leave.

back pain is endemic and to be on heroin/oxycodone for it is fucking bullshit and not sustainable

can you get up and walk? are you mobile? how old are you?

if you are 65-75 and you have mobility problems because of issues with your spine then maybe you need hard opiates but if you are young and relatively fit its a road that at some point you will have to come away from

even the old people i know taking oxy for degeneration of their spine and arthritis dont get much relief from it after taking it for so long. it stops working



heroin


oxycodone


these drugs are not sustainable lifetyle behaviours for whatever reason you want to justify

you are not post surgery you have back pain.

of course if you come off opiates it will be way more severe until the withdrawls are gone maybe months (or years) down the line when it will go back to pre opiate levels of pain which were probably unpleasant but actually a part of life.


https://www.upi.com/Health_News/201...ective-for-long-term-back-pain/5451464269189/ check out this link
 
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JessFR said:
I can see both sides, but if I'm honest, I don't think it works in the long term. If she doesn't end it your addiction will probably destroy it.
Click to expand...

I agree unfortunately.

Or maybe she wants to "save" you... But if she can't (well, feel like she's not saving you...) she will leave eventually....
 
devilsgospel said:
I'm thinking this and what you quoted are my answers unfortunately.
Click to expand...

I tried to "save" my ex for 3 years (I was 18 at the time.... a long time ago ha ha). Not from drugs, but from mental health. His mum used to refer to me as the warrior. I would have done anything for the guy! I literally wasted 3 years of my young adult life, that I could have spend having fun, meeting people, discovering myself and who I was.... But no, I dedicated them to him, to save him....

He was hospitalised and decided to leave me (save me the hurt??!!). He also hooked up with another girl then.... (not more stable mentally than him). That destroyed me. I would have done anything for the guy. He came back crawling a few months later.... Too little too late.

All I can say is, talk to each other. You clearly love her!!! The fact that you pay for everything doesn't matter. As for the drugs you're taking, I'm not knowledgeable enough to advise but pofacedhoe seems to be....

If there is love there is a way...

Good luck x
 
devilsgospel said:
I need some help here BL. My girlfriend recently found out that I've been doing heroin instead of suboxone and lost her shit. Yeah that doesn't sound abnormal, but I've been addicted to drugs just as bad for much longer and she's had no issues. I can't seem to get her to remove her judgment from the situation, I know exactly how she's thinking. She's afraid I'll kill myself.

I've been suffering from extreme lower back pain from past jobs and have scoliosis, I'm in pain 24/7 and my tolerance demands H, oxy, methadone, or other hard shit. I've tried to explain it, but I was given an ultimatum. Her or it.

I love my girl to death and I see a future with her, but she's making pain relief hell for me and bossing me around in a house that I SOLELY pay for. All the bills, rent, her food, everything. I basically sustain her way of life.

But can I have both? Probably not but I'm asking anyways...
Click to expand...

No.
 
Pofacedho, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about pain management with opioids. I didn't know what debilitating pain was, until I was 43 and blew out my L4-L5 disc. Until then, I was judgmental about people using pain meds. i thought they were weak.
I had four lumbar spine surgeries, and countless other procedures trying to stop the pain.
Here's the catch, that most people don't know about. Serious chronic pain interrupts sleep to the point that you can't have a full sleep cycle. Going without sleep for even one week, can cause a myriad of very serious, and life threatening, health problems: depression, onset of diabetes, weight gain, suicidal thoughts, weakened immune system, heart disease, etc. I.e., going without sleep can kill you.
If you have serious pain that cannot be alleviated with surgery, really the only option is opioids under the care of a pain mgmt MD. Pharma companies and doctor try to use other meds (NSAIDS, nuerontin, gabatril, lyrica, and on and on. They just don't work and cause other health problems. Remember all the adds for Vioxx? Then they found it was killing people and pulled it from the market.

Of course heroin is not an option for treating serious chronic pain -- that's a no brainer.

So please withhold advice and judgement until you fully understand chronic pain.

Opioids are a hot topic in the news and government these days. I fear that the gov will restrict the use of opioids for legit chronic pain, and people will suffer.

A few myths I can dispell:
Everyone who is prescribed opioids for chronic pain becomes addicted. Not true. Peer reviewed studies show that only about 10% develop addiction problems. Like many medicines, the body adapts and becomes dependent, and it takes time to wean off the meds. But dependence and addiction are two different things.
The way people get on heroin is through doctors prescribing opioids for legit pain. Not true. People who start using opioid pain meds recreationally, move on to heroin because it's cheaper and easier to get.

Do you own research.

I was on oxycontin and working as an engineer for years. I no longer need it. And I would never touch heroin or stick a needle in my arm under any circumstances.

Sorry if I got preachy. I nearly had my life destroyed by chronic pain. Considered suicide a couple times. Fortunately I was able to be treated by as couple compassionate and experienced pain mgmt MDs.

Good luck and prayers for anyone suffering from chronic pain
 
pofacedhoe said:
maybe even more importantly do you really need heroin for lower back pain?
Click to expand...

When you blow a disc yeah at first but scoliosis is a trait that is built up over time and needs chiropractor work.

Cortisone injections into the bulge and lyrica was what I was given.

Opiates arent long term and back pain is serious but not something that excuses addiction.

OP will have to decide what he wants. His heroin or the girlfriend.
 
zephyr said:
When you blow a disc yeah at first but scoliosis is a trait that is built up over time and needs chiropractor work.

Cortisone injections into the bulge and lyrica was what I was given.

Opiates arent long term and back pain is serious but not something that excuses addiction.

OP will have to decide what he wants. His heroin or the girlfriend.
Click to expand...

thank you


all the evidence points to opiates being shit for long term back pain.

post surgical yes - everyday general pain they are shit

same as zopiclone for long term insomnia

yingyang2020 said:
Going without sleep for even one week, can cause a myriad of very serious, and life threatening, health problems: depression, onset of diabetes, weight gain, suicidal thoughts, weakened immune system, heart disease, etc. I.e., going without sleep can kill you.




So please withhold advice and judgement until you fully understand chronic pain.
Click to expand...

yeah diabetes comes on cos you eat too much sugar- its that simple

and i have seen numerous people with chronic pain including back pain with an oxycodone script. in that womans own words it wasn't working yet she slumps forward and passes out very easily. the pain is still there

ive seen someone glugging oxycodone for calciphylaxis which is more than understandable. but if you are relatively young and your life is going to go on another 30-40 years opiates are not sustainable

a sore back though? that could go on forever and what will you do as your tolerance rises? well for one it wont work on your pain, plus you will need to regularly escalate the doses.

if you take opiates for long term then your body at least is dependent so breaking that after you decide to come off it will inevitably lead to massively exagerated rebound pain on top of the original underlying pain.

opiates are not sustainable long term, the evidence isn't there


thanks for pointing out that because my back is not fucked up currently my opinion doesn't count. thats quite an assumption to make.

i noticed you didn't explain why suddenly the pain resloved and you stopped taking the oxy- what changed?
 
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