Just thought I'd give y'all an update, I've been starting to feel better since the last post I made. I haven't smoked weed in 17 days now. I've drank a bit in the past 3 weekends after taking a month off from it. It's nice to have no tolerance to alcohol, I actually realize when I'm drunk now and don't get so belligerent. Although I know I still need to be careful with it, because I still have been having some suicidal thoughts lately. Had a really good meeting with my counselor. I basically realized I had been stuck on thinking about what has been starting to making me feel better. Couldn't tell if it was the meds, the counseling, the break from weed and alcohol, and me just feeling a little more optimistic about things in general (that could be from the meds). My counselor explained that its definitely a combination of all those things. He explained how a lot of people get into "spirals" with their life. One bad things happens, then another, and then eventually you get caught in a downward spiral where it feels like everything is going to shit. However, when things go good for people, they start to do more good things and feel better about life and get on a upward spiral where they feel like they're on top of life. Made a lot of sense to me. But yeah, thanks for the support and advice guys, I need all I can get so I can keep on getting out of the rut I was stuck in for so long.
