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having a crisis -- in Melbourne -- don't know what to do

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doctordog

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 13, 2011
Messages
118
I don't mean to scare anyone with the title, and I want to refrain from being too melodramatic. But I really don't know what to do right now, nor who to talk to or contact. In general, I have really like the people/support on here, so thought someone could advise me.

I was taking Mirtazapine for 2 weeks to sleep. It was only a low dose and I stopped it cold-turkey due to side-effects (with my doctor's permission). After that, I developed neurological side-effects .. akathisia, stiffness in my face and restless legs. I also have intense anxiety, scattered thoughts and so on. I'm not sure if people are totally familiar with akathisia here, but it's basically hell on earth .. an intense need to keep moving, inability to sit still, feel comfortable (even watching TV etc.); it's a common side-effect of opiate discontinuation. Even writing a simple email can be nearly impossible when it's at its worst.

I have always been prone to neurological side-effects on psychotropics (including akathisia), which is why I never really stayed on any. And now this akathisia triggered by stopping Mirtazapine has been going on for 8 weeks. To be honest, I don't know how I haven't lost my mind .. I am basically bed bound all day, I can't leave the house, and I can concentrate for about 5-10 minutes max, which means I am lying in bed writhing, or pacing energetically, or watching crap on youtube. Codeine helps for about 2 hours (which is how I'm writing this post), but I'm far too wary to use it regularly.

Here is what I've tried so far:

Benzos (paradoxical reactions to all)
Beta-blockers (slight help, but bad side-effects)
Going back on Mirtazapine -- made problem worse
Other antihistamines -- made problem worse
Cogentin -- made anxiety worse
Codeine -- eliminates symptoms by about 40%, improves mood a lot, but scared to use paracetemol regularly and find Codeine kind of activating
Lyrica -- trying now, can't tell if it's doing anything

I've seen:

My regular GP, who basically accused me of being a hypochondriac because I could hold it together for our 10 min appointment. Because I have an anxiety disorder, he will never do bloodwork or refer me to specialists anyway.
A family friend GP who understands what's going on to some extent but keeps insisting I drive 45 minutes out to see him because "it's good for [me] to get out the house". I managed to get there once, but it's too dangerous for me to drive.
Been to the emergency room twice; had to say I was suicidal the second time to get seen. Couldn't see a psychiatrist or neurologist, and was told by doctors they couldn't do anything.

I have not a cent to my name, nor am I entitled to any kind of centrelink assistance because I'm not a permanent resident (moved here from New Zealand 4 years ago).
My parents are battling financially and are basically c*nts, I don't know how to put it otherwise -- my mom is a tremendous narcissist who can't cope with anyone else's problems. When I've asked for advice, she just freaks out and will kind of insist I figure it out, so I don't bother talking to her anymore. My dad is introverted and distant and got fed up with me years ago.

I have a referral to a private psychiatrist -- I think he's practising again in a few weeks -- but can't afford his fee. My family friend GP referred me to a public neurologist, which will take about 3 months.

I have dealt with a lot psychiatrically, but to be honest, this takes the cake. I am dreading knowing the Codeine will wear off soon and I will be back in misery. I feel paralyzed by fear, can barely think straight or make a decision when unself-medicated, and am living in bed. I just don't know how to navigate the Melbourne health system and am so scared .. I have no friends I can reach out to for support, family are useless. I have this nightmarish feeling of being completely alone.

Should I call CAT? Surely there should been some way to see a neurologist/psychiatrist faster, if it's a crisis, or do they not do emergency-room stuff in a hospital? It just sucks I am not eligible for any financial support whatsoever ..

Sorry if this is vague or whatever. I just want to emphasize again that while there is a lot of anxiety present, this is different -- akathisia can produce anxiety, and even at my most anxious, I have never felt this intense, horrifying restlessness. Also, please don't berate me or call me a hysteric or whatever.. it's really hard enough dealing with this right now.

Thank you ....
 
All that stuff is out of my league, so I can't help sorry, but I hope something happens to help you on a brighter path, it sounds like hell. And yeah it sux people from NZ aren't allowed any benefits, I read an article where a family from NZ moved here and were doing ok till the dad lost his job and they had to start living in their car, someone donated a house for them to use over Xmass that they werent using whilst they went away which was really nice.

Good luck and hopefully you get some advice from people here that will help you.
 
Some of this sounds familiar. I'm going to PM you, DrDog (great name!)
 
Poledriver I remember seeing that on the news the mum looked sooooo thrilled!

I do agree it is bullshit that you can't get anything, but have you been into Centrelink? I just wanna make sure you've definitely tried to see what you can get because we are a really great country that does support a lot of people, surely there must be some way that you can be assisted, I mean surely this is Australia were talking about!
 
I'm pretty sure if you are from NZ (or anywhere else) and are not an Australian citizen then you are not entitled to any types of benefits.

I wonder what the process is for becoming an Aus citizen? You probably have to have been here for a certain length of time? I'm really not sure tho, as I was born here and have lived here my whole life.
 
Where the F is the ANZAC spirit?! Surely there's a loophole for NZ citizens....

Faith levels rapidly dropping... :\
 
Afterlyfestyle: Centrelink didn't give me shit other than the run around. In fact, I was pretty shocked at what happened when I hit rock bottom (well, my personal lowest point - no money, depression out of control, substance abuse issues. What happened was... nothing. Centrelink turned me away twice.

I was later told by a healthcare "professional" this: "You have to know how to work the system".

Fuck that. I'm not out to work the fucking system. Why should I "work" it or play games when I ticked every box legitimately, with tonnes of documentation from psychologists, GPs, my ex-boss (who I'm on very good terms with after years of hard and dedicated work with his company), and all the other shit they want: bank statements etc.

I compiled all that and they turned me away in less than five minutes. The psychologist advised me to go in the the c-Link office and ask for a specific form. I did that. I completed all 9,034 pages of the shit. Came back at the appointed time and was turned out for having filled out the 'wrong form'. I got another form and was told to have medical checks done. AGAIN. I complained that I'd done all that, and it was all right here. Did they want to have a look? No.

So I did the whole fucking circus routine again and came back at the appointed time. This time they looked at the first two pages and saw that my girlfriend was working. Oops, GF's working. No money for you. And that was that. Did they want to see the medical forms that I'd run around filling out in their specific format? Or the ones before that? No, and no.

So I ended up walking out with nothing but a heavy stack of documents that had taken a week of running around which were never looked at.

To this day, I don't get what happened. I don't know what I was supposed to do. I told them the truth and had all the evidence to back it up. And you know what I was asking for? Three months of modest disability payments so that I could recuperate and go back to the job that I had waiting for me. Is that unreasonable? A fixed three month term of just two or three hundred dollars a fortnight. Yeah, my girlfriend works... in a restaurant. She's not making wads of cash. We struggle to get by when I don't work.

THe whole thing left me angry, and then to be told "you have to work the system" just topped it all off. Work it? You mean scam it? Lie? Make shit up? Have friends on the inside?

What the fuck kind of support system is that? So bottom line, I'll take care of myself as I've done virtually all my adult life since 20 years old. Fuck working the system. If the truth is not good enough, then I don't want any part of it.

(Oh, for the record, I'm an Australian citizen born and raised)
 
I'm Aussie born and raised and we've had two different experiences with Centrelink. I've been in state care, the gp was right it is unfortunately all about who you know.

I've had social workers when I was a teen and they helped me out. I had really good ones, I was very lucky. I think without their help I would have just been fucked around as well and left me with a similar experience, I bet that's why I look at the system with a bit more optimism than others, certainly no walk in the park but I had help and I would be a stubborn and arrogant fuck if I said it wouldn't have been smooth without them.


Honestly I have never heard someone put so much effort into their centrelink claim in my life, you really went over and beyond yet it shits me up the wall when people like you who need their payments get fucked around yet all the derros and deadshits get their payments and still sit on the couch all day.


I never lied on my stuff or anything, they're cracking down on stooges who wrought this system which I'm glad about, leaves the help to the genuine people.
 
Thanks for your replies, guys. Australia had an agreement with NZ re: payments, but it ended in 2001. If I became a permanent resident, there's a 2 year wait. It's ridiculous -- refugess get better care.
 
Sounds horrible. Neurologist sounds like a good idea, it's a shame you have to wait so long to see one.

In the meantime, can you manage any kind of exercise? Coming off effexor cold turkey had me in a similar state, it was very uncomfortable. Found myself going stir-crazy and getting out and some exercise surprisingly helped heaps, along with drinking a lot more water - for some reason when coming off effexor I'd never feel thirsty, had to remind myself to drink enough water...this lasted for quite some time after the acute-wd's ended.

Start with a short 15-20 minute walk if that's all you can handle.
 
afterlyfestyle said:
Honestly I have never heard someone put so much effort into their centrelink claim in my life
Click to expand...

Me neither. But then again, I've only ever claimed unemployment (even during times when, honestly, the reason I was unemployed was because I was too sick to work). Clearly the system is not designed for people who need to access sickness benefits, or more likely purposely designed to keep people from accessing assistance.

Halif - I'm all for "working the system" personally but I heartily respect your integrity in refusing to play the game like that.
 
In Australia 2014, the system works you.
People that talk about "working the (unemployment benefits) system" are living in the past or suggesting major fraud.
The dole (or whatever post-howardian doublespeak name it has now) doesn't even cover the average rent in Australian cities.
Plenty of hustles are less hassle.

OP I wish I had some good advice to give. Find a good dr that bulk-bills?
What you are going through sounds unbelievably awful.
 
Last edited:
I never lied on my stuff or anything, they're cracking down on stooges who wrought this system which I'm glad about, leaves the help to the genuine people.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's why it was a double blow (not in the good sense). When I went in there, I already felt weirdly guilty and like my mere presence there meant I'd failed. That's bullshit though, I worked for years and saved money, but lost my job (along with all the other workds and admin staff) TWO TIMES IN 12 MONTHS due to companys filing for bankruptcy. The first time it came really suddenly and was a huge shock after four years of emplyment. I got a call from my then boss just calmly explaining that the company was - just like that - now owned by an administrative firm who specialise in "cleaning up" when shit goes wrong.

Cleaning up means the CEO was allowed to empty the 2 point something million out of our branch (it was a global company) and wipe his hands of the business. That money was clients money who had paid for work just days beforehand, being promised everything was business as usual. It was almost our pay. To my mind, he stole that money and then ran away. How else would you describe it? According to the administrators, it was all "above board and legal". It took me six months to get my three weeks of outstanding pay.


After I busted my balls to get another job, I worked there for four months and the exact same thing happened. It was soul destroying, and this time I didn't have savings to draw on.. so.. off to centrelink. Who didn't help one jot.

After that I was at a low point, mentally and financially. I had no assets at all. I grew up in a simple but happy way and had a great childhood, but I was never spoiled because there wasn't enough money for that. My little brother and I did the house work and cooking on many weeknights while my mother slept and my father worked long hours.
Feeling helpless and lost, I admitted that I was in a bad place and was abusing drugs recklessly. SO I threw my hands up in defeat, contacted one of those help lines and said.. well... "Help me".

THe people on the line were really helpful and very good at handling people who need reassurance, very quickly that there IS a way out. The problem was the the follow up didn't work. All the logical advice which I followed to the letter just hit endless dead ends, with centrelink telling me that my forms were incorrect or that I'd filled out the wrong form. I wanted to shout at them "Well, why did you give me the wrong form when I came in and explained my sitation AND showed a referral letter from a psychologist explaining that she had recommended a 3-month fix term assistance payment program for people who have a job (I managed to line one up during all this!! but I needed a break for my sanity) waiting for them and simply need time and bulk-billed counselling to help get them back on track.

To sum up: I got not a cent from Centrelink. The psychiatrist antagonised me, and I ultimately came out feeling that I had made a huge mistake in stating my issues honestly and "reaching out". I am now registered as a Known Drug Abuser and get suspicious looks if I go to a GP... for anything, even a common cold.

So yeah, that's my life story. Sorry. It's long, I know. This is the only place I feel I can rant like this and there are others who have a clue and know that I'm not just a person with a victim consciousness disorder.
 
Christ! -- I walk for 20-30 minutes a day, depending on my energy levels. It helps a little, but I don't really 'tire out'. I mean, I am physically fatigued but this relentless shitty anxiety (like having drunk 10 cups of coffee) doesn't go away.

Halif, I got your PM, thanks dude. Unfortunately, reading large portions of text is really difficult right now. I'll try to respond soon.

These are my options:

1. See private psychiatrist in 4 weeks, though cost is $400 for appt.
2. Ask to see a private neurologist, which will be cheaper I think ($280?)
3. Parents have said they would pay to upgrade my insurance ($60 extra a month) because they are pushing me to go to a private clinic inpatient .. but there is a 2 month wait w/insurance. I would be willing to do this because I recognize this is a psychiatric and neurological problem .. however, aside from getting the agitation/irritability under control, I have no desire to touch another shitty psych med again. I also don't know if they have other specialists like neurologists at places like the Melbourne Clinic.

My worry is a psychiatrist might see this totally as a psychiatric issue, which it isn't. I suspect things like atypical antipsychotics will make it 1000x worse.

Are there any support or advice lines just to talk this stuff through? I was going to call Crisis Assessment Team, but wasn't sure if this qualifies ..
 
^ I feel you Halif. Our medical and welfare systems could be so much better. However, the conservatives think that every person who gets any help from the government is a bludger and live like kings. It's sickening that we get called socialists if we want a better welfare system that actually helps people get back on their feet. I read somewhere that the dole is actually below the poverty line in Australia. How does that assist someone looking for work when they can barely afford to live in a caravan park and eat 2 minutes noodles every day? Let alone clothes/transport/medical ugh.

^ ddog, I know it isn't easy but try and find a psychiatrist that bulk bills. I've never had any luck myself but I have heard they exist. I think a genuine empathetic psychiatrist would be your best bet, although the odds of finding one seem to be similar to that of winning tattslotto.
 
For some reason, I figured a bulk-billing psychiatrist would be shitty .. I guess it depends on the person though .. I've just had far better care from private GPs than bulk-billing ones, I assume because the latter have heavier case loads etc. so thought it might be the same with psychiatrists. I will look into it though.

Poledriver -- nah, I can get bulkbilled without centrelink. I just can't get a healthcard, so pay fullprice for all my scripts etc.
 
My doctor gave me sample packs, so I had a two week supply. It's going to run out in 3 days though, and I have a script to refill it. We get a discount because our pharmacist is a family friend, but I've been trying not to think about the cost or how I'll cover it... I guess I'll have to ask my parents for help (which makes me wanna die inside).

I so wish I'd known about or looked into the permanent residency thing when we moved here. Would've solved a lot of problems.
 
Centrelink is fucked. I truly believe they make people jump through so many hoops to ensure that as many people as possible just give up - and hence they don't have to pay them. I do believe a good way to get onto centrelink benefits is to go to detox - come out of that and you should qualify for sickness benefit straight away. But, I'm not 100% sure on that - that what's happened when I went to detox back in 2008, but there may have been other factors such as me being under 21 at the time.

doctordog - your experience sounds horrible. I've been to many drug services over the years, and I can only recommend some based on my experiences.
Turning Point - I've always had a good experience at Turning Point Alcohol and Drug Centre in Fitzroy - 54 - 62 Gertrude Street, 8413 8413. I always found them very respectful, and willing to try somewhat novel treatments that other doctors straight up turn their nose up. Turning Point really is at the forefront of addiction research in Australia. If you can't book an appointment soon, I would honestly try just turning up and explaining your problem politely but conveying the urgency. I do think they give a shit and would try to help you if possible.

Regen - Moreland. 26 Jessie St, Coburg. 9386 2876. This is another treatment centre with a wide range of drug and alcohol services. They've been a great help to me - I didn't like the detox - but the other aspects of this centre are top notch.

Reconnexion 222 Burke Road Glen Iris, 1300 273 266 or 03 9886 9400. When I was suffering from debilitating anxiety, this service was, truly, a life saver. They specialise in anxiety and benzodiazapine withdrawal, but offer psychological services, meditation programs, groups and so on. I guess it depends on who you see - but this place saved my life.

DirectLine (VIC) 1800 888 236 - as they say '24 hour telephone counselling, information and referral service. At DirectLine, you can talk to professional counsellors who are experienced in alcohol and drug-related matters'. I've found DirectLine a bit hit and miss - they're good for referrals, but not so good for on the phone counselling. For counselling over the phone, you could try:

Lifeline 13 11 14. 24 hour telephone counselling service.

This is a lot of information, but these are the services that have helped me in the past. Perhaps by trying all of them, you will find something or someone to help you. I don't have a lot of faith in hospitals or CAT teams - I think they are overworked and often can't provide the service people so desperately require. But, that is always an option.

Good luck. Please feel free to pm me for anymore info on any of this.
 
Thank you so much footscrazy. The only issue is Mirtazapine isn't a drug of addiction, so would I still be eligible for Turning Point etc.? I would've thought they would pass me over to a psychiatric service.
 
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