My fiance cheated on me. Then she left me for the guy. 9 months later, we were back together.
I was working a lot. And I mean a lot. If I got off at 10 hours, I considered that an early day.
She felt neglected as all I wanted to do was come home and sleep my day(s) off consisted of me glued to my computer, playing games, learning how to program...just anything to not think about the weight she gained, ignore her constant nagging, and when I did leave the house, it was to pick up my step-brother.
She was being neglected. We didn't have sex for 6 months. However, a lot of this may seem all my fault but things were different. She was hanging out with friends, spending money like you had no idea, and constantly on her phone. I didn't care, I was working too much and bills were paid. I didn't like her friends and the only attention she gave was her frustration that I didn't help out with chores.
2 months before she left me, I attempted to communicate. Too late. Too tired, had a headache, we were just in a rough patch. The season was almost over so my hours would become more regular. A few weeks later....her phone was driving me crazy.
Understand, sometimes it would go off from midnight to 4am sometimes and wake me up. I dont touch her phone, but normally. I am not one to snoop. This particular night though I was exhausted, I just got done working 9 days at 12 hours with a few 16 hour days. I had the next day off, I just wanted peace and quiet while I read my book at my desk. I grabbed her phone and as I was turning the volume down, she got txt from a guy.
I didn't read the message. I had suspicions that she wasn't always with her girlfriends. I didnt dwell on it, except I felt like breaking the phone. I ignored it. A few days later I had an early day due to weather conditions. It was normally a 14-16 hour day for me. 6 hours later, I came home and she was gone. I made dinner, cleaned up kitchen, and I even did the laundry, folded clothes and everything. She came home 6 hours later, early enough to normally beat me home.
She went straight to bed. The next morning I called in sick. The one time....Anyways, her friend called her in the morning and I told her to put it on speaker. She looked at me, put it on speaker, and what I heard pissed me off. Some guy thanked my girlfriend of 4 years for the amazing head AND said she looked sexy when cum was on her lips. I want to take a moment to say: she doesn't like when I nut in her mouth or on her face, and some dude she just met a few months ago didn't have to grab his cock and cum in a towel. The little things. And the fact we weren't having sex or even really interacting.
She left me a week or two later.
I was devastated. Fast forward, she came back to me, I accepted, but held that against her for a year. That was wrong of me. But I got over it. Another time she was too involved with a guy online a year later, but all it took was a gentle reminder of values and of her inappropriate conversations was worth the risk.
Fast forward: 2 years later, she gained 50 pounds, I'm unhappy, I'm working at the best job I ever had. Stress levels were high, but I was a badass. I was losing my sexual interest in my fiance, I was dissatisfied in the relationship, and we didn't have much money as we had a new car, my new motorcycle, and a decent apartment and her brother to provide for. He lost his job 9 months ago, so our affordable apartment became too expensive.
I worked a lot. Sometimes to avoid going home but usually it was because the company was busy and quite honestly abused the shit out of me. An old friend came down to the office because she needed attention. Best sex ever. We did things my somewhat prudish fiance doesnt do. Not into anal if that's what we are thinking. The 3rd time was the last time. I told her we couldnt continue as she was texting me ALL THE TIME!
Now, for the cherry on top:
I worked the following day and a co-worker came....This was the beginning of the end of my career with the company. She knew I was working. She came in wearing the shortest sundress and I will swear I could see her nipples through her top. Idk why, to this day I could not explain how. I thought this only happened in movies. She called me to her office under the pretense of work. My dick was twitching. Tall, pale, athletic, and literally inviting me to make a move. I didnt. She did. For the 4th time I had sex in the company building.
Of course when the 2nd opportunity came around I declined respectfully but ever since, she was a cunt. I don't use that word lightly. I am not a sex god. I am not a porn star, I am "average", maybe a little skilled with my mouth, but that's it. This is the only recounting of this there ever will be. I never got caught, no suspicions by anyone.
Since then, even though both girls let me cum in their mouths, would suck my dick after fucking them, both girls were in much better shape, my fiance still gives better head but, more importantly, I love her and she is a better person than both those girls. Thus, the sex is actually better.
My indiscretion showed me I still loved my fiance. I am not necessarily ashamed, but I wouldn't admit this to anyone else.
The importance of this story is recognizing why we both had our affairs. She was feeling neglected emotionally and sexually. I myself was unhappy with my own fiance's weight, her growing laziness, and the stress of being at home. I worked more hours and still cleaned our place and provided for her lazy ass brother. Perhaps my excuse isn't as valid but I take solace that I didn't leave her.
Can it work out? Yes. But for it to work out, you both need to evaluate your values. Communication is important. I can not stress that enough. Oh, DO NOT BLAME ANYTHING on him! If you felt neglected or you are sexually frustrated, be very, very diplomatic. Make sure you don't say something stupid like, "Well if you fucked me better." Better ways to say that. Also, PROVE your commitment. If it isn't enough, then it isn't but take solace you tried.
Understand, everyone makes mistakes....drugs, sex, professionally. We are human. We also learn.
