Has using changed the way you look? Does it come back??

[d3athadone]

So I'm one month sober. I been using on and off. Mostly on or at least on methadone for the past 9 years. Its crazy to think about how time just flies. One minute I'm 19 making really stupid decisions and having a party and the next I'm 9 years later picking up the pieces. I don't know where all the time went. Anyway, I guess I just look at myself hard in the mirror a lot. Its hard not to. I can't help but notice this weary look in my eyes. In my view, I look worn out. Its like when I look in the mirror, I see everything that happened to me and the weariness in my eyes. But when people see me nobody ever believes me and says I'm full of shit and look normal. But I see it and it bugs me. I look shook. Like I saw a ghost or something. I guess I see my trauma in my own eyes. I'm only one month sober maybe its just because of that. Maybe as more good things happen, I will get that spark back in my eyes. Sometimes I look at peoples eyes who have never done drugs or had too much crazy shit happen to them and I just think man the look in their eyes is so clear and innocent! Maybe its just cuz they are really sober. I don't know. Its really confusing to me. Another thing that happened is my skin is a lot more fucked than it used to be. I know part of it is being in really dry places during the winter in canada, but I suspect part of it is that I have been smoking since I was 11 and smoking pot since 15. Plus I eat like way too much sugar. Def on the road to diabetes no question about that. Gotta get off that road sometimes soon!

Does anyone know if your skin repairs or something when u quit smoking and get off drugs? Also its pretty night and day between the way someone looks whent hey one month sober and like a year sober right? I just look sick when I look in the mirror. Like not like really sick just kinda off u know? Like a junkie, but that nobody els can see but me. I dunno I hope u can figure out what I'm trying to say. Share your experiences!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

At 28 your body has plenty of time to heal. It is really all about how you treat yourself now though. If you eat healthy, practice good hygiene and grooming habits, get enough sleep and train you body and mind to become whole again, you'll be amazed with the results. It hasn't been too long for me and, while I have a ways to go yet, I'm infinitely happier with my looks today than in active addiction.

 

[Loozer_Magnet]

I've been smoking cigars since I was 15 And weed since I was 18.. I'm turning 28 on December 8th.. I've done various drugs for the last 10 years and people still mistake me for someone who is much younger.. They look at me in disbelieve when I tell them my age and that I have 3 kids.. My mom (who doesn't use drugs or smoke) gets the same reaction... People don't believe she is 51.. Genetics might play a part in it.. Because I also see the same things you do when I look in the mirror.. I have had a very traumatic life.. I was sexually abused for several years as a child starting at age 6.. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety.. I'm an alcoholic.. And I am always seeking an escape from reality... I look at myself and think "My god, I look ragged and worn the F*ck out..".. But maybe it's because we know our own history and struggles.. And nobody else does.. They see us the same way we see them.. Innocent and hopeful.. While we see our demons..

 

[aihfl]

I was involuntarily admitted to a medical detox last year, and during the intake assessment I was asked my age. When I told the intake nurse 41, he told me, "I would have guessed closer to 50." Fast forward to earlier this year with four months of sobriety, my psychiatrist quipped that I look years younger. So to answer your question, I believe yes!

 

[Jabberwocky]

So cool! You'd make a good story teller aihfl I am sure you few nuggets of wisdom packed away in there Thank you.

 

[aihfl]

Thank you TPD. Writing is what I would like to be doing with myself one of these days. I'm starting to collect my years worth of experiences in psych hospitals and rehabs when they randomly occur to me. I'm starting to get far enough away from some of it that I can laugh about it. There is humor in the insanity.

 

[swilow]

Drugs like heroin for some reason really effect a persons appearance. Its mainly the gauntness, the protruding cheekbones, but when I was addicted, I was very pale and my skin was quite red and often looked irritated. My eyes still have a certain dullness to them, and my skin is not half as clear as it was. Its a shame, I used to really value my appearance (shallow, yes...). I still do, but it worries me that my life choices have literally been etched on me- I still have the cheekbones of an addict and the dead looking eyes.

That said, as you age your appearance becomes less important. Everyones life leaves its mark upon them and you can't really control that. I think reducing tobacco will help, as well as drinking plenty of water and avoiding processed foods. I am a vegan and work quite hard to ensure I am eating natural and plentiful foods, and its really helped my skin look clearer. I am 33 but most people do not think I am that old, but to me I look pretty worn out and battered. I find that if I do go on a bender or something, I look like absolute shit and its a dead giveaway. Mostly I look like someone for whom time has been a bit rough- to my eyes at least.

Another great little hidden treasure our addictions leave us with. But, yeah, it certainly does get better when you stop taking drugs and eating better, working out, looking after yourself. Sleeping well, deeply, really helps.

 

[Moreaux]

I'll post pics later - don't have much time right now as I'm about to go out. Yes, appearance improves dramatically once you get sober (skin, hair, nails, etc). Some days I looked like I was in my 50's when I was using and now almost three years sober I look like I'm in my twenties and it still gets better. Hell, even the quality of my teeth improved lol.

 

[RedRum OG]

Heroin and opiates made me skinny, and since I hopped in hard at 18, kind of stopped the end of puberty. I had a childlike face and no facial hair. I looked exactly the ssme at 18 as I did at 24. Wish i knew how much opiates effected testosterone, and how much I still needed testosterone at that young age.

Then I hopped on juice and no joke , people say I look like I aged 5 years in 6 months. In a good way though. Thicker , softer skin, thicker, broader jaw and chin, facial hair, etc. I'm often accused of having a fake ID cuz I look so different than I did at 21. Not to mention I gained 60bs of pure muscle in about 2 years, going from anorexic 140bs to a lean, mean 215 currently. Sterioids only being responsible for about half of that.

Needless to say when an old crush or an ex runs into me they visibly regret not sticking around

 

[theMerovingian]

I use to be using amphetamines and then got liking meth to eat less and look skinny both in the face and have protruding cheekbones and have my ribs showing. I have an unhealthy romantic inclination towards the junkie image but I also did'nt want to ever become fat and was paranoid about my weight so yea went big on it.

Could see my face like look gaunt and that but it was to the detriment of the skin like colour and surface wise changed for the worst. What did I learn is that it was'nt a viable way and everytime even now when I do stuff I look like shit when I stare at my face in the mirror. I've cut back big time and I try to eat helthily, have moderate exercise, no sugar drinks and less alcohol and over two years off tobacco and no weed since since march. My condition looks better but you have to make the effort. Small steps at first to get a base and confidence.