has anyone else gone down the religious path and now feel trapped?

[fluxy]

I wasnt sure how to get my point in there in so little words,


But about 7 years ago i got "saved" By my christian friend and dont get me wrong there has been so many awesome times in this journey that i wouldnt take it back. but sometimes i dont know if i know the difference between i wouldnt take it back and i cant take it back. what i now believe is different to what i believed when i was a carefree and careless teenager growing up, DEFENITELY no fear of death, and now its all i think about all the time.
Sometimes i just think, if what i think i believe is true, then this world is really deaths waiting room and most of us are screwed. Im an addict! i dont have much i could redeem myself with right now.... does a simple prayer really take all that away?

Im not asking for answers here, im just wondering how the rest of you have been affected or dealt with this subject of faiths (it comes up a lot in getting off drugs, and the psychedelic experience and what not) .

i feel like i could not turn back even if i wanted to, and theres no one even trying to pushn me in a certain direction because ive isolated myself so much.

what becomes of people like me? Sometimes i find solace in psychedelics and feel closer to a different reality, but then end up very fragile when the trips go bad eventually or reveal stuff i just couldnt handle.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm not certain about spiritual & metaphysical realities to be honest. I do think spiritual conceptions and motivations have been powerful catalyst for people to make their lives and those around them much better. Assuming that there is an all wise being who has a benign interest in humans, I can not picture that she would be fixated on us correctly guessing what her nature is or even why we are here. I can picture that she would like us to be kind to ourselves, our neighbors, to learn lessons, and make a good stab at doing right.

In Catholicism they talk about the sin of despair, which is believing that you are beyond God's help or that you are irredeemable. (Telling despairing people that they are committing yet another sin seems kind of counter-productive.) I don't have an answer about God, Gods, ultimate reality or life after death--but I think it serves me well to assume that God is big enough to get past and supersede my faults, defiance, and self-indulgence.

Mentally healthy and happy atheists and religious alike both likely think that their faults and those of others are forgivable and that people can improve and recreate a positive standing with self and others. Say your prayers or do some meditation and recognize your self and others as people who can and will do better. I think hope is the opposite of despair.

 

[Asclepius]

This is the way I try to look at things for myself(hope this is relevant to what your lookin for fluxy?):
Sometimes I think when your going through a period of uncertainty with a belief it is a period of growth and an oppertunity to mature on some level, life has a way of teaching us about ourselves if we listen to the changes that are going on. Whatever you believe or do not believe my dear, is up to you and I dont think you or any of us should be frightened in our lives of whatever faith/spiritual belief feels intuitively right/wrong to us. It should serve as a comfort and help us to deal with the realities of life.
Anything in this world that is worthwhile and good wont selfishly chain us to it; whether it's Religion, Philosiphies,Our relationships with ourselves, things or other people.
'Good Spiritual things' have huge scope to be move fluidly within healthy boundries. Outside those boundries they often dont thrive because they lose their Essence, and through Experience, we can learn where they work best for us individually.

Love is unconditional, it is Freedom; it doesnt pressure people to take sides, or judge them for it, and we all can Nurture this Spirit in us. I think its really comendable that you can look back on your experience with your friend and see the best in it, and now your moving on.
Thinking about death for me is part of being an Adult and Depression has probably made it more of a prominant feature of my thoughts. If dwelling on death is preventing you from living your life perhaps you are stuck in a fear that (however rational the basic thought is) you need to Accept and make your peace with ,so you can rise above it and really live the moments you have here and enjoy the world and yourself for the lovely things in it. Instead of seeing life as a waiting room, each moment is time we can work at to try and enjoy or reap the basic natural sensory, intellectual and other pleasures of, and excercise our talents and abilities and foster these into better quality while we have that time! Its a sombre inevitability that someday it and the people we love will be gone, but after coming to terms with this ,we can make the choice to relish whats right here right now; the pleasant, unpleasent, and
everything in between!
I understand alot of people might think this is idealistic bullshit, as I would have years ago, but for me going through difficult times in my life have brought me to a place where my eyes were opened to the things I value because I lost alot of them through not valuing them, and now, I can choose to appreciate them, if I want- doing this always makes life taste hellofa lot sweeter!

Reading about various Faiths and Secular philosiphies and allowing them all into the way I practice living life in a more Concious way(or attempting to! )(Life Free from self-destruction) And people, always people even the Assholes all teach me something-I cant help but be in Awe of people(Even if some scare the shit outta me!lol). I often feel now like I did on drugs, seems like the very Escape I was looking for is actually within my own capability to find inside me! Im not saying things arent difficult alot of the time, they are but its nowt I dont believe I cant handle(and Im not a super confident/in any way exceptional person) . Really dont mean to sound like a complete deluded nut, but thats my Truth and theres no point lieing about it!

 

[bagochina]

Not really sure exactly what you are saying here. For me I was raised Catholic [catholic schools, CCD, etc.] than psychedelics hit me at a young age [13/14 was my first trip, red peace sign] and my thinking expanded. I devoured as much spiritual/metaphysical/new agey literature I could read, love the subject. My parents were/are old hippies and let me freely engage in that activity. I stopped going to church when I was right around that age. Now I have just cherry picked a few things I do enjoy from the Catholic faith and kinda mixed them up with my own beliefs. I have never had any doubts that my life is controlled by a higher force and truthfully if I start to doubt that fact I immediately try to block that thought from my head and wont allow myself to entertain it, similar to what I do when I get real bad cravings. I have never been able to fully understand how people view life with out a god, I hate to say it but that sounds boring.

peace & good luck.
seedless

 

[kennypowers]

I can relate.

[. . .]what i now believe is different to what i believed when i was a carefree and careless teenager growing up, DEFENITELY no fear of death, and now its all i think about all the time.

I didn't really get the thought of death in my head until I actually lost a family member at a young age. I think people think of the word death, but to actually associate it with themselves and accepting that they will in fact die, I don't think many people actually come to terms with that. If anything I think it's good so you can remind your self to live your life accordingly because it's the only one you will get.

Sometimes i just think, if what i think i believe is true, then this world is really deaths waiting room and most of us are screwed. Im an addict! i dont have much i could redeem myself with right now.... does a simple prayer really take all that away?

Yes, I would agree that a good amount of people live very sinful lives, and have no remorse or any intention of accepting the lord as their savior or praying for forgiveness.

I don't think a simple prayer will redeem you for your sins or make it to where you had never committed them. I think that you have to sincerely have remorse for what you've done wrong, and that you have to sincerely believe that your savior (that would be Jesus if you're like me) has died in order to make it so that you can be forgiven. In my opinion, this can be either a prayer and said out loud or if you know deep down in your heart that you fucked up and that you are truly sorry and know that you need to be forgiven, then I think that is also acceptable.

[. . .]im just wondering how the rest of you have been affected or dealt with this subject of faiths (it comes up a lot in getting off drugs, and the psychedelic experience and what not) .[. . .]i feel like i could not turn back even if i wanted to, and theres no one even trying to pushn me in a certain direction because ive isolated myself so much.[. . .]what becomes of people like me? Sometimes i find solace in psychedelics and feel closer to a different reality, but then end up very fragile when the trips go bad eventually or reveal stuff i just couldnt handle.

I've been dealing with the conflict of my sinful lifestyle and faith for a long time. Nobody was created perfect (except chuck norris), people sin, it's in their nature. Even the churchiest of people at church fuck up, I dated a chick who's ex had cheated on her with their pastors wife.

What becomes of people like you and me? Well hopefully the path you choose is a little more on the righteous area rather than the "dark side". It's a constant battle to stay on a "righteous" path, I stay tempted on a daily basis.

I don't take whats written in the bible too literally, I believe much of it's written in metaphors. In times where I feel down, I read certain versus that I can relate to, I find it comforting. I don't think that I am "trapped" in any way. I definitely don't live a churchy lifestyle. I am a very straight up honest person and I live a honest lifestyle (including both good and bad aspects of it). I am not trapped by any means.

 

[fluxy]

Wow people, i feel so much love and respect for your answers and thats not something i say often.

I am a christian so Jesus is my saviour from all this life of sin, and with my beliefs he was always the answer, i guess i was just loaded up with so much guilt that i felt i couldnt turn to God in a deep and meaningful way. My prayers have been powerless and now they will become weapons against addiction and prophesies of a glorious future. I have had so much seen in me by so many people that i felt ashamed to not live up to it but now i know that i have to just draw a line in the sand and go no further. for a starters. Next is action,

And i love the part about death
quote I think people think of the word death, but to actually associate it with themselves and accepting that they will in fact die, I don't think many people actually come to terms with that. If anything I think it's good so you can remind your self to live your life accordingly because it's the only one you will get.


this is great.

and the part where you remind yourself that there is always a higher power at work in yourt life and if you find yourself thinking other wise change those thoughts immediately because i believe God works in our lives for the good of all of us, So we can share our dreams and talents, skills and love and caring, charity and kindness and perserverance with one another. and being tolerant. not judging, as wheh we judge, we are then judged by the same stick we use to judge others. ring a bell?

I may not have much, i have negavtive net worth, but i have a loving family ACHING to have me back in there lives. hundreds of cousins and aunts and uncles and my own friends, so much to look forward to if i can deal with the pain for a while, and find my new path without the use of drugs, even if its not today, i can use less today. i can be more tolerant, i can dress more neatly and have a haircut and a shave. get my teeth fixeed up (its free at the moment!) get a place to live and get a job and set some goals. befoer i know it ill be back in "reality" where i can sucessively put together a life, not just survive from day to day, minute to minute.


Theres so much miore i want to say,

But over all i want to thank the people who chose to take the time and write a heartfelt resonse here and gave me hope again. This is my church for now, and Ill be in ANY church on Sunday feeling a whole lot different. thanks guys and gals.

 

[organicmusic]

^^^

why is sin wrong?

When a tiger eats a antelope is it wrong?

Or a mouse eating its children?

edit:

or to make my self more clear,

What is a "sin" ?

 

[fluxy]

This is particularly my rock and a hard place and sums it up perfectly

If dwelling on death is preventing you from living your life perhaps you are stuck in a fear that (however rational the basic thought is) you need to Accept and make your peace with ,so you can rise above it and really live the moments you have here and enjoy the world and yourself for the lovely things in it. Instead of seeing life as a waiting room, each moment is time we can work at to try and enjoy or reap the basic natural sensory, intellectual and other pleasures of, and excercise our talents and abilities and foster these into better quality while we have that time!

"If dwelling on death is preventing you from living your life perhaps you are stuck in a fear that (however rational the basic thought is) you need to Accept and make your peace with ,so you can rise above it "

sorry to write it twice but thats what in had to do. It IS a RATIONAL BASIC REALITY (death) but if you are 100 percent secure with your paradigm of death, exactly what you believe and you know your beliefs and actions line up, Then i can make peace and MOVE ON and live life now! it would be such a pardoxical shame to spend a life in fear of death, only to die having not lived and failed. like a man who works his entire life to fund his retirement, scared hell go without if he runs out of money then dies just before retiring.......

 

[sid3]

I think your free to form new, revised, and even different beliefs as you go through life. To not question/better understand what you came to believe when you were younger would be more concerning. IMO, any time something makes you feel trapped in life, you owe it to yourself to evaluate why you feel as you do. Trapped is never a healthy emotion to have/feel, to just accept it wouldn't be healthy, you obviously know that.
The early teens can be some very formative years when it comes to one's beliefs, values etc. We are often victims of our circumstances and surroundings at such an age. I know some people who were able to choose an active involvement in the church, and others that were pressured into it against their will. Then there are people like myself, who were never introduced to any religion, never given an option when growing up. My brother and I were never taught anything about God, the bible or jesus. So as you find yourself questioning parts of your faith and the manner and time in which you came to know it, many at some point will be questioning their lack of faith, beliefs and the reasons why they haven't known or ever found them.

I am curious, and always have been about those who believe that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of man. How does Christianity explain those that lived before the time of Jesus? Were they just pagans, not worthy of God's grace? Maybe there is part of the bible/old testament that covers this that I've never heard about. Maybe there is no answer. Is there an exception made when a child dies as he/she isn't old enough, and/or raised by non believers. It can really boggle the mind if I think about it. It's not intended to be a "if God is omnipotent, then why?" how come? kind of question. After reading about the subject of death in the OP, It makes me wonder what would happen to all the people,through no fault of their own, grew up without any involvement at all.

 

[kennypowers]

fluxy: i'm glad you got something out of the responses... keep your chin up, everything will work out as long as you give it your best effort.

organicmusic: how i would define sin, in my opinion everybody knows when they have fucked up deep down inside... like me for example, i had cheated on my ex-wife (and she cheated on me), i felt guilty. i think if you do something that makes you feel guilty, then you can pretty much consider that sinful for the most part (not including petty shit). shit just feels wrong, like deliberately doing something you know is wrong.

sid3: i would like to comment on your last paragraph. it is my understanding that when Jesus died, it was for the past, present, and future. with regard to people who had never been exposed to any sort of religion or spiritual beliefs, i don't think God would turn you away if you have lived a good life. i couldn't substantiate my opinion with bible versus (i don't know many bible versus off the top of my head). my opinion is from my exposure throughout the years to various bible versus and teachings.

i'd be happy to elaborate on any of my statements, i just wanted to keep this as short as possible so this thread won't be hijacked from the original poster.

 

[PhrostByte]

I don't think gods exist but since you do.. I doubt you'd get punished for using drugs. Just my opinion...

 

[Johny O]

IMO feelng "trapped" would mean I was not living up to my own expectations more than what others may expect. Having lived most of my life in a very conservative region I have seen frequent examples of religous people who feel it is possible to wipe away any/all sins commited throughout the week with a couple of hours on Sunday. I can't see where this behavior would be redeeming in any God's eyes. Many of these people can also be VERY judgemental of others rather than leaving that call to a higher power......could this lead to your feeling "trapped".

Whether you are a devout Christian, agnostic, or atheist, I think you are better served to follow the golden rule and treat others how you would want to be treated. Better yet, how would you want others to treat your grandma? For me, the potential of a utopian afterlife isn't neccesary to drive a desire to help others and leave this world better than I found it. Helping someone in need should be its own reward, knowing you made a positive impact on their life. This would also improve your chances of being admitted when you reach the pearl gates too wouldn't it?

Fluxy, I wonder if the "trapped" feeling is rooted your not conforming to a set of religous beliefs, or based on your expectations of yourself? If you can sleep with yourself at night it likely means you are doing the right things.

Peace,
Johny O

 

[Bojangles69]

I wasnt sure how to get my point in there in so little words,


But about 7 years ago i got "saved" By my christian friend and dont get me wrong there has been so many awesome times in this journey that i wouldnt take it back. but sometimes i dont know if i know the difference between i wouldnt take it back and i cant take it back. what i now believe is different to what i believed when i was a carefree and careless teenager growing up, DEFENITELY no fear of death, and now its all i think about all the time.
Sometimes i just think, if what i think i believe is true, then this world is really deaths waiting room and most of us are screwed. Im an addict! i dont have much i could redeem myself with right now.... does a simple prayer really take all that away?

Im not asking for answers here, im just wondering how the rest of you have been affected or dealt with this subject of faiths (it comes up a lot in getting off drugs, and the psychedelic experience and what not) .

i feel like i could not turn back even if i wanted to, and theres no one even trying to pushn me in a certain direction because ive isolated myself so much.

what becomes of people like me? Sometimes i find solace in psychedelics and feel closer to a different reality, but then end up very fragile when the trips go bad eventually or reveal stuff i just couldnt handle.

Its not having faith thats important, its why you have faith about something that is important.
If you have faith about life because you are scared of death, I don't consider that "faith" in the first place.
If you have faith you're going to win the lottery, because you are merely obsessed with material items, thats not faith. Thats just being poor. You can never be rich till you are happy by yourself, w/out needing anything material in the first place.
If you have faith you are going to get married, because you are ugly, isolated, lonely, and need someone to validate you before you can like yourself, again - not faith.

The word "faith" itself is used rather loosely in society. It becomes harder and harder to have faith the less and less happy you get. It becomes easier to have faith the more happier you become. This is precisely why I consider faith not even faith, but happiness.
If you are happy, you have faith in almost everything. You feel good, you feel like the world has treated you right, and you just have faith things will work out.

The religous faith I consider people going to a place outside themselves, to find happiness. If those people realized faith comes after happiness, they would go inside themselves to find happiness first, than find faith later.

This is just MY view on life, and my own definition of faith. You didn't ask for answers, you asked our thoughts, and thats what I think about faith. =]

 

[Lady Codone]

My feelings are that people (organized religion in particular) try to make spirituality a "one size fits all" concept when it's actually a highly personal journey that each individual must take on their own.

I also think that spiritual views--like anything else--should evolve and mature over time to fit the needs of the individual. You mentioned feeling different now than you did when you were saved, and that's completely normal. Does that mean you should discard everything you learned during that period? Not at all. It just means that more searching and learning is needed to help the spiritual part of yourself grow. Whether that comes in the form of meditation, psychedelic drugs, joining a new church or something else entirely is up to you.

I was raised in a highly religious portion of the Southwestern U.S. and have learned on my own what I accept as true through critical thinking and questioning. Maybe if you could pinpoint what specific concepts in Christianity you disagree with and figure out WHY you feel that way, you could find a way to keep what you believe and discard what no longer fits.