I wasnt sure how to get my point in there in so little words,
But about 7 years ago i got "saved" By my christian friend and dont get me wrong there has been so many awesome times in this journey that i wouldnt take it back. but sometimes i dont know if i know the difference between i wouldnt take it back and i cant take it back. what i now believe is different to what i believed when i was a carefree and careless teenager growing up, DEFENITELY no fear of death, and now its all i think about all the time.
Sometimes i just think, if what i think i believe is true, then this world is really deaths waiting room and most of us are screwed. Im an addict! i dont have much i could redeem myself with right now.... does a simple prayer really take all that away?
Im not asking for answers here, im just wondering how the rest of you have been affected or dealt with this subject of faiths (it comes up a lot in getting off drugs, and the psychedelic experience and what not) .
i feel like i could not turn back even if i wanted to, and theres no one even trying to pushn me in a certain direction because ive isolated myself so much.
what becomes of people like me? Sometimes i find solace in psychedelics and feel closer to a different reality, but then end up very fragile when the trips go bad eventually or reveal stuff i just couldnt handle.
But about 7 years ago i got "saved" By my christian friend and dont get me wrong there has been so many awesome times in this journey that i wouldnt take it back. but sometimes i dont know if i know the difference between i wouldnt take it back and i cant take it back. what i now believe is different to what i believed when i was a carefree and careless teenager growing up, DEFENITELY no fear of death, and now its all i think about all the time.
Sometimes i just think, if what i think i believe is true, then this world is really deaths waiting room and most of us are screwed. Im an addict! i dont have much i could redeem myself with right now.... does a simple prayer really take all that away?
Im not asking for answers here, im just wondering how the rest of you have been affected or dealt with this subject of faiths (it comes up a lot in getting off drugs, and the psychedelic experience and what not) .
i feel like i could not turn back even if i wanted to, and theres no one even trying to pushn me in a certain direction because ive isolated myself so much.
what becomes of people like me? Sometimes i find solace in psychedelics and feel closer to a different reality, but then end up very fragile when the trips go bad eventually or reveal stuff i just couldnt handle.