Hardest Part of Sobriety, Especially in it's Infancy

[HumanDrugTest]

Hey everyone, longtime lurker first-time poster here. A lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I'm freshly sober and when I was high I had no need to contribute just flipping around was stimulating enough. Anyways I wanted to see what people thought the hardest aspect of being sober is to them, more specifically being newly sober and what you do to deal with it.

Personally I think the hardest part for my new sobriety is boredom and I am making an effort to rebuild my life to avoid this. The thing that makes this the hardest is constantly comparing what little I have now, with what I used to have whether it be relationships, friendships, hobbies, vehicle, license, money, opportunities, and so much else. I dabbled with pretty much everything, starting when I was 14 but always had a good head on my shoulders as all my high school friends were phish or dead-heads and our crew always designated there being good drugs (psychedelics, pot, K) and bad drugs(the addictive life-ruining stuff, mainly opiates) This was my view and I practiced avoiding opiates for all of high-school and most of college(besides stuff I took in between after a knee reconstruction) then in my second or third year at university I found friends who were more involved with the music scene I was into (and still am), they reminded me of my high school friends some were even friends of friends through that music scene, except they lacked that distinction of good and bad drugs. I started doing roxys a blue here and a blue there, slowly this progressed to sniffing dope which then progressed to banging dope. Now I am completely clean, everyone in this crew is in some form of program to maintain sobriety and I live in a new city with little contact with them or really anyone from my past. But anyways it's strange, opiate addiction reminds me of a relationship and hopefully a subsequent breakup, in the sense that for the past few years I have been so amazingly content with dope to the point I forgot what I was like without it, now I am having to re-learn how to deal with myself and others without that crutch. I dropped out of college, I hope to return this summer but currently I am very bored and need a job or some way to make some money.

Anyways that long winded rant is my perception of what sucks about being sober my main point being having to realize everything I lost, if I was miraculously plopped back into my old life I think it would be much easier, definitely bearable maybe even enjoyable.

 

[Americanfloosie]

Boredom is my enemy right now as well. I've been sober for sometime but that nagging "what the fuck do I do next?" Still haunts almost every moment.
It really is like being born again. And I don't mean that in the biblical Christian bullshit sense. I mean sometimes I catch myself not knowing how to react to certain situations since everything seems brand new.
I went shopping with a friend of mine the other day and I kept thinking how much better the experience would have been if I had painkillers. I then got bored with our conversations and eventually just had to leave because I felt off. I wonder often if this will end? Or maybe I'm just a restless person who gets bored easily hence my past drug and alchohol use.
I will admit working out has become somewhat of a new addiction in my life. Which I'm fine with. It's not taking over or anything but it's a very good outlet.
I'm a stay at home mom so I do have my daughter to keep me focused on being a better version of myself. She's my everything. But being a stay at home mom means lots of time on my hands.
Things will get better Humandrugtest. But honestly for me it's been slow goings. My suggestion is get out work out and let off some steam in a healthy way. I know cliche right? But I have lost some weight and I look much healthier for not indulging in my addictions which in turn fules the fire to keep on the right track.
Good luck friend and keep strong one day at a time.

 

[totach]

Boredom is a big relapse factor for many addicts including myself
Boredom and insomnia are the worst symptoms in my opinion
The only real solution is to keep your self busy
I know it's easier said then done but you just gotta do it somehow
My job consists of crazy long days and I hate it but even if I have cravings during the day there's not much I can do about cuz by the time I get off of work I'm tired and just wanna go home and sleep
Just try to find a job it doesn't have to be a good job any job will do just for now
No one is saying to work whatever job forever but if your just home bored all day trust me any job is better
I was stuck home bored and relapsing all the time cuz I wasn't willing to get a shitty job
But now that I have that shitty job it is keeping me clean and I have money in my pocket
I will start looking for a different job soon I just want to have some more clean time

 

[herbavore]

My late son used to say that boredom was his biggest trigger. I found it hard to understand how he could feel bored and I never do. It occurred to me that maybe it was a mix of two things: one he really did like adrenaline producing activity. He and his brother both liked to push the envelope physically and I think both of their brains needed the rush of adrenaline that comes with that. But the other more troubling factor it seemed to me was his perfectionism. He was very talented writer and artist at an early age but he talked himself out of doing either by never thinking anything he did was good enough. So something that for me is always available (creativity--liking to play around and make things) was not available to him even though he had the same talents and impulses I do. The reason I am telling you this is because I think boredom is usually the result of a lack of confidence. We learn to tell ourselves no at an early age. We float around a million sayings about how failure is the best teacher and learning comes from trying yada yada but when it comes to actually internalizing that wisdom it gets a lot harder.

So curing your boredom goes a lot farther than being good for your recovery--it is how you will want to stay sober because you actually are living a life that engages and excites you. Not every minute of it and not every single aspect of it, but most of it. Acceptance that we have to constantly make choices that have positive and negative consequences is easier when we feel we are living with our lives pointed in the direction we want them to take. So examine your boredom and get to know what it really is. Sometimes it is a lack of self esteem causing you to hold yourself back from taking risks. Sometimes it is a mask for a deep deep loneliness. Sometimes you really do just have to go climb a cliff or jump out of a plane to get your adrenaline pumping. I'm sure that everyone has a unique set of needs that lead to boredom.