hapiness

[bomber]

Before I start doing drugs, I felt jelous of people that were happy using drugs. After I started doing them, I think I feel realy jelous of people that are happy with out them.
I don't know why, but just felt like posting this.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I think it is very nature to desire what you don't have. It's a huge challenge to really get to know what you do have, to learn how to appreciate it, so you can get to know what you really want. It has been so much harder to make sense of what I wanted to have in life before I began learning to understand the significance of what I already had.

 

[d0wN]

I don't think I even know how to be happy. That's for other people. Being less sad is not nothing, though...

 

[Moreaux]

Drugs are a temporary bandage to escape from that which breaks our heart. Embrace the pain, confront it, accept it and move forward...doing that will teach you about yourself and you'll be in a position to define what happiness is to you.

 

[herbavore]

Ever observe babies? They are the best teachers about emotions. When they are sad they scream it, when they feel joy they shriek it, when they feel scared they let you know and when they feel bliss they radiate calm wonder. The older we get the more we mark certain emotions as defining us rather than simply feeling them and expressing them and letting them come and go through our minds. Happiness only happens in moments but I have come to see that sadness is no different. Sadness has become a huge part of my life since my son died. Now that it has been 5 years, most of my friends and family have finally gotten accustomed to seeing me dissolve into tears in the midst of even the happiest occasion when a memory breaks through and the missing is indeed unbearable. But no one that knows me well tries to take me away from the sadness though it is uncomfortable to watch I'm sure, because they know I could be laughing again 60 seconds later. Life is just life--full of everything and anything. When life breaks you in some devastating way it can feel like you will never experience happiness again. But then, miraculous human that you are, you do. Rilke wrote: "Let everything happen to you: the beauty and the terror." Some of the most profound art that has ever been made is born of sadness, of grief or despair or anger. We get handed the whole basket of emotions the minute we take our first breath. Why attach to only one and define yourself by it? Sadness for me has been a good teacher in so many ways whereas happiness just tastes delicious. I would hate to think I was deprived of either experience.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Perhaps by happy I should have used the word fulfillment, I'm learning to find fulfillment in my life, not happiness per se. That was what I tried to do in my heroin use, try to chase a happy life. I'm learning not to chase anything anymore, at least not like that. Rilke is amazing

I now notice I might not have used the word happiness or happy. But you get the point. Happiness is not and is best not understood as inherent or impertinent, or even a goal. The better goal would be to allow a dance of happiness and sadness to place out in one's life.

 

[bomber]

Perhaps by happy I should have used the word fulfillment, I'm learning to find fulfillment in my life, not happiness per se. That was what I tried to do in my heroin use, try to chase a happy life. I'm learning not to chase anything anymore, at least not like that. Rilke is amazing

I now notice I might not have used the word happiness or happy. But you get the point. Happiness is not and is best not understood as inherent or impertinent, or even a goal. The better goal would be to allow a dance of happiness and sadness to place out in one's life.

Excuse me if that question is kinda personal, but do you think you are in potition to stop chasing hapiness because you got enough of it in the begining of your heroin use so you are kind of "full" now?
My ex is like that, she doesn't need to have a full of pleasure life and she says that it's because in her past she had a great time with drugs and doesn't need much hapinness anymore( she used to be a heroin addict as well).
It's very hard for me to be like that, though. I hope I reach that point before I get addicted to any drug.

 

[Jabberwocky]

No, I wouldn't say that at all. It isn't a question of "enough" for me. It's a question of chasing (or clinging). Of having learned that wanting what I don't have isn't going to get me any closer to fulfillment in life. And that by facing the hard truth that, while it isn't everything I will ever have or be, what I have not is more important to learn to appreciate than to strive to be different from who I already am.

I got into enough trouble, I made enough bad choices, and more than anything I missed enough opportunities while I was trying to feel good by using dope. Over time I saw how I had not achieve my goals, and furthermore didn't really know what my goals should be, and that was when I really started putting myself out there and challenging my unhealthier habits. I was never really a hardcore stereotypical drug user, but I certainly was a shitty junkbox a lot of the time when I used.

You can begin to change you habits by beginning to really investigate what is going on in you life, what you want, what you don't want, and how to get there - the key is not being too self critical or judgmental, and to treat your investigations with as much kindness, to be as gentle as possible with yourself during the process, as you can muster the courage to be.

 

[bomber]

I can see your advice is more than right, but its not that easy to change the way you are thinking. I hope some fullness will make it easier in the future.

 

[Jabberwocky]

You are absolutely right, it isn't easy to change the way we think! But there are constant opportunities to do so, so it's not like you won't be able to. Establishing healthy habits based on your personality type, as we all posses certain strengths we can focus out abilities on, is probably a great way to get started. You can establish healthy habits based on your drug use as well as, possibly more importantly, in lots of other venues of life (for instance how you relate to loved ones, eating habits, exercise, sleep habits, what you do for fun, finding things to do for fun that are not particularly unhealthy, and so on and so forth).

Good luck!

Learning how to let go was the first real step to liberation from patterns of destructive drug use for me.