half way house boredom

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Yeah I hate meetings in fact i hate the whole 12 step thing. As my rehab counselor would say "I guess I am just not ready to be clean". LOL. Oh what really pisses me off about 12 steps is when they say if you relapse then you didnt try hard enough. But if you stay clean then it was all god and meetings that you had nothing to do with your success. A large logical fallacy in my opinion. Honestly if I was you I recommend getting a counselor that is the only thing that has ever really helped me.

 

Yea i could see that being helpful to deal with my underlying problems. But going to meetings for the rest of your life all the time to simply reiterate what youve already heard countless times and already had drilled in your head?! No thanks.

 

I agree with you about the meetings but on the other hand you need some help man. I mean your living in a half way house obviously what you where doing was not working.(jesus that sounded NA'ish) Im not going to tell you the only way to stay heroin is to be completely sober because that is BULLSHIT. However I will say in my experience there is no chipping after a habit once I get a connection it is off to the races. The way I have stayed off heroin is that I indulge in all drugs but heroin. I take my suboxone once a day and I smoke alot of pot. But man not being on dope is great lie last night I took 2c-e and went to a dubstep show with a friend ended up scoring some ketamine and had an amazing night. If I had a habit none of that would have happened I wouldnt have friends who didnt use I wouldnt have money that could be spent on anything but dope. You get the picture.

Sorry I am rambling but you sound miserable man defeated and shit when in reality this can be the start of something great. You dont have to follow there rules for YOUR LIFE. But you do have to want to be better because shooting dope is fucking easy and boring. Living life is hard and scary but the fucking rewards are sweet brother. I dont mean to preach but I was where you are 2 years ago and I gotta say life is much better over here than it ever was for me over there and I mean that with sincerity. Live your life man otherwise assholes will live it for you.

 

I can completely dig what youre saying crimson. I'm starting to see that this chipping shit isnt forbme and isntbworth hiding from the house and being miserable 95% of the time. Ugh im so sick of that life, starting today im gonna try to start living different, and im not saying that just to say it im saying it cuz thats what needs to happen for me to be happy i woke up this morning and really saw