For the first entry, let me begin by telling you about my life growing up. I was born in February of 1987, making me 22 today. I had a fairly normal childhood. I was four years old when my first brother was born. We’ll call him MJS. MJS had it rough from the beginning. During his childhood, he had to have three open heart surgeries to close a hole in his heart. My brother and I fought a lot, most of the time we were just playing or imitating wrestling matches. Then when I was eight, my sister was born. We’ll refer to her as Jessie. During this time I was into video games, and going out to play wiffle-ball or bounce-pitch with my friends. I was also involved in Little League Baseball. The first year I played, I think I was 10 or something, and this is also the time my 2nd brother was born. I’ll call him Guzz. Anyway, I was really involved in baseball and the first year I was in the International League we won the championship. I also continued to play for the 8, 9, and 10 year old All-Star teams, which were all coached by my father. I started to get less and less interested in baseball as the years went on though, and my father did not like that. Baseball was the only thing him and I really had together, but after my third year in the American League, I put away my bat and glove for good. My brother MJS took my place though and began playing baseball, but I was on a different path.
Now during this time, I noticed my parents fighting more and not sleeping in the same bed anymore but I was young so I didn’t really think much of it. I was in 8th grade when they had decided to get a divorce. It didn’t bother me much, but what did bother me was how my father invited his new wife to live in the house less than a month my mother left. Yes, my dickhead of a father stayed in the house because “he built it” and left my mom to find another place for herself. Now, when my step-mom came to the house, she didn’t come alone. She brought her two daughters with her as well and they were a fucking thorn in my side. They annoyed me constantly, and since I wasn’t related to them I just kept building up the frustration and anger inside me. During this time, I decided to build my first personal web-site. I had built web-sites in the past, and even made some money designing them for friends, but they were mostly all wrestling web-sites and this time I wanted to make a web-site where I could post about whatever I wanted to. I named the web-site ‘Verbal Assault’ and I was involved in the E/N scene when it wasn’t flooded with tons of useless blogs and people bitching and complaining about how shitty their life was. Verbal Assault ran alongside of sites such as Lameking, Snoogins, HamsterStyle, John’s Crawlspace, and many others. The site went on for years, mostly during my Junior High years and due to a server crash, I lost all the content before becoming a Freshman. But sometime in 8th grade, while I was still running Verbal Assault and galavanting with my friends around the area on bikes, I was introduced to something else. Marijuana. I smoked for the first time with two guys by a river in my town. I was instantly intrigued by the feeling it created inside me, and by the time I got to high school smoking was basically an everyday thing. Yes, I even smoked weed before I consumed any alcohol or smoked a cigarette. Alcohol always disgusted me because of how nasty it tasted, and I didn’t understand why anyone smoked cigarettes when they could smoke weed and get high! It baffled me, but it wasn’t long before I became good friends with booze and cigs too.
So, when I graduated my Sophomore year in High School, I turned 16 and decided to leave my Dad’s house specifically because of my two fucking step-sisters that annoyed me to no end. I also wanted a pad to smoke pot in with all my friends, and since I was a very spoiled child (My mother basically caved in to my every will), I figured I could convince my mother to let my friends and I smoke and get trashed there. And just as I guessed, that is exactly what happened. My mother lived there with her boyfriend, who turned out to be a crazy fucking crackhead, and she also was in the worst condition in her life. Her scumbag of a boyfriend had her smoking crack and drinking like a fish, and since my cousin owned the apartment we lived in, I guess she figured that he wouldn’t mind if she didn’t pay rent, but not only did she not pay rent, there were times when the electricity was cut off as well and we would run extension cords from the empty apartment upstairs into our apartment to run the various electric appliances. Talk about embarrassing. I didn’t mind though, and my friends really didn’t either since we had a safe place to chill, smoke, trip, drink, snort, and consume any kind of drugs we wanted to.
This is where I will stop for now. As you can see, I was a normal child during my early years. Just a normal kid who wanted to play video games, run around town with his friends, skateboard, kiss girls, ride bikes, play sports, watch movies, and basically just have good ol’ sober fun. As I progressed into my pre-teens and early teenage years though, my idea of fun changed from those things I just listed to consuming all sorts of chemicals and thinking I had everything in control. In the next entry or two, you will see just how out of control things had become.
Skinny OUT!
Now during this time, I noticed my parents fighting more and not sleeping in the same bed anymore but I was young so I didn’t really think much of it. I was in 8th grade when they had decided to get a divorce. It didn’t bother me much, but what did bother me was how my father invited his new wife to live in the house less than a month my mother left. Yes, my dickhead of a father stayed in the house because “he built it” and left my mom to find another place for herself. Now, when my step-mom came to the house, she didn’t come alone. She brought her two daughters with her as well and they were a fucking thorn in my side. They annoyed me constantly, and since I wasn’t related to them I just kept building up the frustration and anger inside me. During this time, I decided to build my first personal web-site. I had built web-sites in the past, and even made some money designing them for friends, but they were mostly all wrestling web-sites and this time I wanted to make a web-site where I could post about whatever I wanted to. I named the web-site ‘Verbal Assault’ and I was involved in the E/N scene when it wasn’t flooded with tons of useless blogs and people bitching and complaining about how shitty their life was. Verbal Assault ran alongside of sites such as Lameking, Snoogins, HamsterStyle, John’s Crawlspace, and many others. The site went on for years, mostly during my Junior High years and due to a server crash, I lost all the content before becoming a Freshman. But sometime in 8th grade, while I was still running Verbal Assault and galavanting with my friends around the area on bikes, I was introduced to something else. Marijuana. I smoked for the first time with two guys by a river in my town. I was instantly intrigued by the feeling it created inside me, and by the time I got to high school smoking was basically an everyday thing. Yes, I even smoked weed before I consumed any alcohol or smoked a cigarette. Alcohol always disgusted me because of how nasty it tasted, and I didn’t understand why anyone smoked cigarettes when they could smoke weed and get high! It baffled me, but it wasn’t long before I became good friends with booze and cigs too.
So, when I graduated my Sophomore year in High School, I turned 16 and decided to leave my Dad’s house specifically because of my two fucking step-sisters that annoyed me to no end. I also wanted a pad to smoke pot in with all my friends, and since I was a very spoiled child (My mother basically caved in to my every will), I figured I could convince my mother to let my friends and I smoke and get trashed there. And just as I guessed, that is exactly what happened. My mother lived there with her boyfriend, who turned out to be a crazy fucking crackhead, and she also was in the worst condition in her life. Her scumbag of a boyfriend had her smoking crack and drinking like a fish, and since my cousin owned the apartment we lived in, I guess she figured that he wouldn’t mind if she didn’t pay rent, but not only did she not pay rent, there were times when the electricity was cut off as well and we would run extension cords from the empty apartment upstairs into our apartment to run the various electric appliances. Talk about embarrassing. I didn’t mind though, and my friends really didn’t either since we had a safe place to chill, smoke, trip, drink, snort, and consume any kind of drugs we wanted to.
This is where I will stop for now. As you can see, I was a normal child during my early years. Just a normal kid who wanted to play video games, run around town with his friends, skateboard, kiss girls, ride bikes, play sports, watch movies, and basically just have good ol’ sober fun. As I progressed into my pre-teens and early teenage years though, my idea of fun changed from those things I just listed to consuming all sorts of chemicals and thinking I had everything in control. In the next entry or two, you will see just how out of control things had become.
Skinny OUT!