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great, im fucked

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Need4speed

Bluelighter
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Nov 23, 2011
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not only am i single and look like a loser, but the part of me that can change that is turned off, i never been diagnosed but i have alot of anxiety in public, to date girls im doomed
 
Need4speed you are definitely NOT doomed. A lot of people suffer with anxiety, and more specifically social anxiety, so please don't think that you're the only one who has had these problems, or that you're never going to get any better at talking to girls. I know it seems hopeless now, but this is definitely one of those things that gets better with practice. The problem is that because you're so anxious/shy now, I can imagine it'd be almost impossible for you to get the practice you need to improve your social skills! So it's a catch 22. But please rest assured that you're a not doomed at all, and you WILL date girls.

Have you ever had any therapy for your anxiety?? If so, did you find that it helped? If not, is it something you could consider looking in to? It could really help you overcome the social boundaries you got.

Otherwise, have you got a close friend who you could talk to about this? Maybe they could help you get out there to meet girls, and be your moral support, so you might feel more comfortable talking to a girl when your friend is around...? What do you think?
 
how old are you? i used to suffer from anxiety it's a normal teenage thing but now i do not and have lots of loving relationships.
 
op, sincerely, what do you want to get from interacting here?

you started this thread: i feel awkward and then dropped it and created this current thread.

from the little you've written, you have a serious self-image issue and, with all due respect, i just don't think that interacting the way you are now is going to get to the heart of the issue. i know that hearing "you look good!" and "it will get better" can give a little temporary relief but it's addressing symptoms and not causes.

you must have thought about this - what do you feel is the root of your current thinking? what do you think is the solution? are you serious about changing your situation, your mindset?

alasdair
 
^People who persistently question the very right of things to be in front of them often do a good job of getting at the root of the issue, and you did a good job here, which ironically takes away from the possible implication you're making that this thread is pointless. This is just a very good post idk...wanted to give props I guess....

OP, What you have is a VERY common problem and one of the best ways to get over it is to take chances and put yourself out there more, under pretty much any circumstances. Due to the commonness of your problem it'd be better to think along the lines of "everyone's fucked up, so me doing or saying the things that I'd instinctively want to do or say aren't going to be any less fucked up than anything else anyone else is doing, so I might as well get out there and contribute a little, and reap the rewards from that." or something...hope it helps. Lookin good! Keep on truckin! Don't Panic! Keep calm and carry on! etc.
 
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