Good Enough (Body)?

[socko]

Some are born with more muscle-mass than others. Your natural muscle-mass is not something you have to exercise for, it's the minimum you will have throughout your life. It's also very hard to reduce (or you would need to lose all fat first until your body starts eating its own muscles).

I think you're describing the endomorph (versus ectomorphs and mesomorphs) body type. They gain muscle and fat easily but have the hardest time losing fat and getting muscle definition. They therefore tend to be rounded in shape.

I agree on Madonna. Grace Jones also has a fantastic body.

 

[Ninae]

Madonna has an ideal dancer's body, it's formed like a work of art, and looks almost artificial or defies nature in its perfection.

Brigitte Bardot also had a perfect version of the more delicate medeterranean/southern european type.

I don't quite understand what you mean by that muscle type? Are you talking about the Marilyn Monroe type or the Helena Christensen type? Although they are just different versions of the nordic type. By the way, maybe you are right, I have rounded shapes no matter how little I weigh.

My dad has a very strong, muscled, ideal male body, without ever having done any lifting. All naturally. He's lean, but his muscles are quite rounded. I have inherited like a female verision of his body-type (he just has more testosterone than me).

Madonna is also mostly formed by muscles, not much fat there (even from a young age, before she started over-exercising, that's when she looked best).

 

[socko]

The muscle type (endo/ecto/mesomorph) is very general and refers to a naturally stocky, skinny, or medium build. It takes into account bone size, tendency to have and build muscle, tendency to put on fat. It's a very general classification scheme and real body types are more complicated than that. I think it's somewhat dated. But it still appears in muscle magazines and body building websites because it's useful for that purpose.

 

[Ninae]

Okay, I think this is man's stuff, it's a bit complicated for me.

But my dad basically has the male version of the Madonna body, the lucky bastard, my family's built is more suited for males.

I have as good proportions as her, but am a bit larger, and more stocky and square (like a smaller version of Helena Christensen).

There's a tendency for women of Northern European descent to be larger, more square, and have large breast, while Southern European women are smaller, rounder, and more flat-chested. Madonna is like a perfect medium of those types.

With Helena Christensen it's the FACE that stands out, though. She was like a mythical beauty goddess. A crime that she had to age.

 

[Ninae]

Okay, I think this is man's stuff, it's a bit complicated for me.

But my dad basically has the male version of the Madonna body, the lucky bastard, my family's built is more suited for males.

I have as good proportions as her, but am a bit larger, and more stocky and square (like a smaller version of Helena Christensen).

There's a tendency for women of Northern European descent to be larger, more square, and have large breast, while Southern European women are smaller, rounder, and more flat-chested (more feminine versus more masculine). Madonna is like a perfect medium of those types.

With Helena Christensen it's the FACE that stands out, though. She was like a mythical beauty goddess. A crime that she had to age.

 

[socko]

Okay, I think this is man's stuff, it's a bit complicated for me.

But my dad basically has the male version of the Madonna body, the lucky bastard, my family's built is more suited for males.

I have as good proportions as her, but am a bit larger, and more stocky and square (like a smaller version of Helena Christensen).

Your father would probably be a mesomorph -- not extremely thin and not extremely stocky or overweight. He can probably build muscle quickly if he tries. For men, that's the ideal body type for body builders and male fashion models (I think. Not that I know the first thing about modeling. I never made it past the first screening or whatever it's called). Also, I think that's the ideal body type for fashion models (minus the anorexia). Since body type is inherited, you probably are too. All body types are beautiful.

 

[Ninae]

Yea, but it's kind of amazing how he can have stayed like that all his life never having exercised in any way. He's very active though, always moving around doing something, not a sedentary type. Come to think of it, I've been very sedentary for a while myself but my muscles aren't going anywhere either. I guess it's just a permanent thing.

The worst of all is my uncle who has been in a wheelchair for 25 years but is still fucking massive and think my dad is small in comparison (he's only 6 feet). But he's monstrously large and like a bigger version of my dad again. This all comes from my grandmother who has the exact same height (1.70) and built as me underneath all that fat (she's very overweight). Only my dad and uncle got a lot more testosterone than us so they're like huge male versions of us.

It's funny how this works. My grandfather was small and fat and not exactly well-built for a man. But they got lucky and got my grandmother's built which was large and strong for a woman. I feel unimpressed with most men's body-type because of my dad, though, like I expect them all to be impossibly ideal or statuesque. But I've never seen him fight, not a fighter type, which is strange because he's built to be a good fighter.

 

[socko]

It's interesting how some people don't have to do anything and can stay muscular. Not me though. When I was into body building, I was huge, like a professional body builder. It was all muscle. When I switched to cardio, I lost some but not all of the muscle. If I stop doing cardio, I'll keep my strength but lose my endurance. Also, I'll quickly get fat if I stop exercising. Obesity runs in my family.

 

[Ninae]

Yea, it is weird, my dad is a freak (kind of like Elvis, just larger).

I should probably stop stressing out about it. It's alright. I just feel a bit...large...like I should be a bit more delicate and feminine (like smaller hands). I think I would have preferred that. Just a little bit smaller. Not shorter.

But all women can't be dainty, and Northern European/Nordic women tend to be built just like that, or a bit large and more square, so it's not like I stand out or anything. And most would say Helena Christensen is fine enough (even if she has large hands and wide hips) and at least I have perfect strong breasts to make up for it. This runs on both sides of the family though my sister is flatter than me.

It's just when I compare myself to perfection, like Madonna or Brigitte Bardot, I don't feel good enough. My mother was tiny or built like BB, but she also had an ideal female body, though I don't take after her. And when my dad has a perfect male body, why can't I have a perfect female body?

Or maybe that is just why, or I inherited some of his largeness and masculine shapes? I should have a boy, with enough luck he'll turn out the same, would be a shame to waste those genes. Any volunteers please send a picture of your physique.

 

[Ninae]

And, Britt Ekland has huge hips, and no breasts/small upper body, and is more unbalanced. At least I'm not built like that. My waist could be smaller, though, but that's just not happening.

I'm just interested in how many males can enjoy this body type. Nordic, I guess (even Marilyn Monroe had Norwegian heritage).

I'm guessing most can overlook the imperfections to enjoy the beauty of it as a whole - the main thing is having good proportions and shapes. I've also had many men come up to me in clubs because of my body. They will say things like "And THAT body" so it must have some appeal ("I just wanna dive into you" - there's enough space). I remember once changing a man's taste in female bodies. He said "I just want a big, strong woman with large hips, shoulders, and breasts now".

I just focus on the flaws like most women (what woman is happy enough with her body?). It's kind of tragic, really, we spend all our life obsessing about it when it can be perfectly good enough. And most men aren't built like Adonis, either. Well, everyone knows my insecurities now, I'm pretty open like that.

 

[mkd]

I'm disappointed you have posted any pics!

 

[Ninae]

I take it you mean NOT having posted any pics. No, I thought I would not whore myself out on Bluelight.

I've showed you enough examples and described it well enough, so you get the idea. Of course I realise you'd like to SEE it.

I'll save that for someone special. I'm not the type to wear revealing clothes, etc. but you still can't hide your body (men certainly don't miss it). One guy I was with used to complain about how "You can't hide large breasts". He was paranoid jealous.

But I'm happy enough with my breasts. They're a 36C when I'm skinny and D when I put on a bit of weight. That's good enough for me. No plan for implants here. If I was a man I think I'd prefer natural, more moderately sized breasts. Why mess with what nature already gave you?

As long as you're cool with with wide hips and big hands, you'd love me. I need a man with a bit of substance, though, or I'll crush him.

 

[spacejunk]

my advice would be to stop caring so much what other people think.

alasdair

I don't see how this is a criticism.
Besides making drastic choices, you are more or less born with the body you have.
If you learn to appreciate it, feel comfortable with it - this is much more 'attractive' than any media contrived ideal of what beauty is.
Beauty is subjective, to a great extent.
Many of the women stereotypically considered beautiful by "men" do not appeal to me aesthetically at all.

But most importantly, there is nothing uglier than a lousy personality.
Again - my subjective opinion; but beauty is far more than the shape of a person's body.
That's what i think, anyway.
I think alasdair has given you the most body-positive comment you could hope for, here.

Personally, it wasn't until I stopped caring about whether I was attractive to other people that people started responding to me in a way that suggested I was. I don't mean "I stopped caring" in the sense that I gave up, but more that I let go of my hang-ups and insecurities about what other people thought, and felt ok in my own skin.
Confidence is attractive. Aiming for perfection is futile, so make the most of your youth while you have it - I often hear elderly women commenting on pictures of their younger selves, saying "I can't believe I didn't realise I was so pretty at the time"

Looking at airbrushed, perfectly lit, professionally photographed fashion models is playing into the fashion industry's deliberate effort to make you compare yourself unfavourably - or at least questioningly to those images.

Having done and been involved in plenty of photo shoots (not for fashion), I know how much "beauty" can be brought out with a talented photographer with top level equipment, even in people that are not particularly physically striking in everyday life.

"Flaws" like "beauty", are in the eye of the beholder. Men, like women, have different preferences for what is physically attractive; this changes I from culture to culture, and over time.
Rubenesque figures may be considered beautiful - as may waif-like Twiggy shaped bodies.
But really, such stereotypes are objectifying women in unhelpful ways, because beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. So much of the pressure for women to be "beautiful" seems to me to come from the fashion/make up/'beauty' industry and competition (tied in with the aforementioned industry) with othe women.
Most men seem to have their preferred 'types' - but I've never known a man to be so picky about particular body types as to have considered what you are asking. Maybe I just don't know those kind of dudes. As socko suggests, for guys - beyond having preferences or turn-os, a lot of it is practicality for me. I know.

I agree with Alasdair, and think you should worry less about the aesthetic perceptions of others.
It took me a while to appreciate my own Scandinavian appearance (being fair skinned in a country in which many people obsess over suntans ) but have since come to appreciate that this is the body I live with - so there is no point obsessing over wishing to be any other way.
Be wary of beauty myths and nit-picking fashion magazines; they're psychologically unhealthy IMO.

 

[Ninae]

It wasn't so much what he said as that he ALWAYS has a negative comment for me, and again, he was hinting that I'm doing something wrong. I guess he just doesn't like me.

Though I agree with most of what you said. Most bodies aren't perfect, and we all have to find a way to live with our flaws. Both our culture and other people are overly obsessed with it, though, so it's hard not to worry about it.

Like I've said, I look like a smaller version of (the giant) HC, and just have to live with that. I know it's not everyone's type, but there's enough who appreciate it. Unfortunately, I don't have a face like her's, but who has? All I can think of is a young Linda Evans, both heavenly beauties.

To be honest, I'm more moderately pretty, or maybe the Kylie Minogue level kind of pretty. I do look good and draw attention when I have my hair and make-up done. Sometimes I prefer to look more plain so I don't get so many looks, etc. as that can stress me out on days when I already feel stressed and anxious.

Health also makes a big difference for me. When I'm abusing and not looking after my health and appearance I can look as shitty as anyone. Which is fair, you get what you put into your body.

I don't know what attracts men the most - my face or body. I know it's my personality and ability to affect them emotionally that is the greatest factor, so you're completely right about that. That's what makes a man want to commit to you or marry you, etc.

Don't really have many problems there, as I've worked quite a lot on inner development and my social and romantic skills, but still all the personality in the world won't suffice if a guy don't find you physically appealing. And this is also something you have to learn to live with (and do all the work, sigh, I really need to get myself in shape when I get off the drugs now).

 

[spacejunk]

Alasdair is pretty economical with words.
I don't know what interactions you've had previously, but try to be mindful you're not mistaking brevity with negativity

 

[Ninae]

Hmmmm.....I get that he's partly teasing me.....but there's a bit of a sting there.
Never said anything to offend him as far as I'm aware.

I guess he has a love/hate relationship with me, like many on this board.

 

[One Thousand Words]

No matter how beautiful a woman, there is always someone, some where, sick of her shit.

You'll always be considered fat by some bodies standards, just as you will always be someone else's ideal form of beauty. Some men love big black and beautiful, while others don't find skinny blondes turn them on. The trick is finding the one who loves you as much as you love them.

 

[Ninae]

See, I usually disappear before it gets to that point. I leave while they still miss me. Don't have time to hang around for all that shit.

 

[One Thousand Words]

Somehow I doubt that very much. I've never met you and already you give off that bat shit crazy vibe

 

[mkd]

Yeah, typo, I meant haven't. I'm sure you're worrying about nothing and have a decent body.