Going to rehab... please help

[delphinen]

Hello,
It's funny how fast I can write, how good the music feels into my head, but at the same time, how slurry it's my speech, how I lost balance of my body and barely can walk.

I mixed a lot of GABA inducer -really, a lot- with tons of antiepileptics there. I see blurred, some things double, and the members of my family all said more or less the same thing, that I look like a dying zombie.

Well, today is the day when I pack my best books, my clothes, my manga, my phone, my mp3, NDS, PSP (hope I can bring the last two things)... and that's it. In some hours my dad will pick me up to go to the rehab. There is always suicide I know, that is like a "relief" for me, honestly.

Some part of me is saying
"finally!, you got what you deserve, now you're going to a psych ward, congrats myself! say hello to House MD for me"
and the other part that is saying
"you're going to be cured, your brain will be forced to be fixed, all that LSD, K, chemicals, GABA inducers, everything will be forced to be flushed out of your system in order to feel like a normal person"

well, honestly, I don't believe the last part, so, if anyone can give me some hints before I left, it will be very appreciated.

This could be my last thread in months, so I will double post it; excuse me in advance mods.

 

[Veruca Salt]

You are doing the right thing. Go in,
work the program. Get involved. Meet
the people around you. Think about
all the things you will be able to do
with your life now that you aren't taking
drugs. What do you wanna be when you grow
up? ... Find a hobby. Keep yourself busy
and make decisions today that you will
feel good about tomorrow. I know you don't
feel optimistic now, but in my experience,
each day that you stay clean, the more
hopeful you will become. It gets easier
everytime you say "No". Don't lie to your
self. ... When I went to rehab I did that
for awhile. I'd tell myself all kinds of
crazy shit and think I couldn't do it.
When I got out, I did what they told me
and stayed involved in my support system.
I stayed clean for 5 years after that. Wasn't
until 6 months ago that I fucked up. I know
exactly where I went wrong, and knew I was
fucking up. Now I wish I wouldve just stopped
and thought about what I was doing. You can
do this.

Yeah, its gonna suck, but this is only
temporary. 30, 60, 90 or however many days
for the rest of your life. ... Not a bad
deal if you ask me.

 

[kunmo]

Please dont ever consider suicide.... Its selfish and an easy way out... Your better off relapsing then you are blowing your brains out... IMO

Stay strong and as Salt says 30 or 60 or 90 days is worth the rest of your life. GL and stay strong!

 

[ronthedon]

i dont think watever rehab your going to will let u have any of those electronics or books cause when i was in rehab we were only allowed clothes and books about recovery or religion. Rehab is actually an alright place because your around people who are pretty much exactly like you. I always thought i was the only fuck up and that no one was going through what i was until i went to rehab and heard other peoples stories and what they've been through, it just makes u realize how lucky u are. Plus rehab shows you what you will become if you dnt quit cause theres so many older people in there whove been there like 12 times and u kno there just never getting clean. Good luck i hope it works out for you.

 

[Veruca Salt]

We were allowed to have books as long as
they wernt drug related. However, mine did
encourage recovery related material. I don't
recall being able to have electronics but
for some reason, I remember seeing some
guy with earphones so I may be wrong
about that. Keep your head up, don't let
you discourage you. When you have a bad
thought tell yourself to shut the fuck up.
You don't know shit, look where you have
gotten you. Listen to what people with clean
time tell you and take their suggestions.
Follow through. Things will seem SO much
better in a few weeks. Take it one step at
a time. Looking too far into the future will
overwhelm you. One thing at a time and there's
no need to analyze everything over and over.
I'm guilty of that, and I drive myself crazy.
YOU CAN DO THIS. Its going to take time.
You didn't become this way over night and
you're not going to be fixed over night."
Have fun! Laugh at yourself. Make yourself
smile even when you don't want to. Tell
yourself good things. You may not believe
them now but eventually you will. Remember
that all of those good things you tell
yourself are true. If they're not, make
them true.

 

[mdmantpa]

I've been to rehab over ten times, for a combined period of probably about 18 months, so I know what I'm talking about when it comes to rehab. The most important thing if you want it to work is to go in open-minded.

I highly doubt they will let you keep any of that stuff you listed. IME you are allowed clothes, religious texts, and recovery related books.

I would look up your soon to be address and give it to a couple of people who are close to you, and ask them to write you while you are in rehab. Trust me, this will be very important to you, you'll see. Be prepared for a possibly rough detox if you were abusing GABA drugs. It does get better, and if you were dependent on them it will be a relief to not HAVE to have them.

When you get there be as friendly and open minded as you can be. Try to give everyone a chance when you get there, you could meet some amazing people who understand you and dont judge you like most people in the world seem to do. With most counselors it seems that if you give respect to them they will respect you back, if you dont you could be in for a rough time.

Good luck with it and just give it an honest try, if you mess up dont beat yourself up, just learn from the mistake and move on. Thats really all the advice I can give you... oh yeah, and be honest!

 

[phatass]

good luck... try to make the best out of it... and try to think ahead about how you're not going to relapse.... in the 2 months following your rehabilitation, temptation will be nearly unbearable... stay strong... and don't allow yourself "treats"... stay strong... all the best to you!!!

 

[Violenza666]

Good luck! The only time I went to rehab I was a minor...

I hope you get what you're looking for and remember take it one day at a time. Things will get better!

 

[stray cat]

yeah, i'll go ahead and second everyone else who said you're probably not going to be allowed to take in all that stuff. i hid my phone in a secret compartment b/t the exterior and interior bottom of my bag, and they still found it on the way in. also, they confiscated my Bible; we weren't allowed to bring in any books of our own at all.

looking back, it was a pretty positive experience. i probably could have gotten a lot more out of it if i'd been open to it at the time, but i wasn't really ready, and the only reason i was really going had to do with my profession and several alcohol-related incidents---i definitely was not addicted to anything physically at the time, like i have been since then. make the most out of it, though.

think of it as a break from the real world that will allow you a lot of time for personal reflection and growth, etc. it's kind of relaxing in that respect. who knows... maybe you'll look back and think of this as the point where your life started getting better. good luck

 

[Lord]

hey my good good friend, one of my relatives went to rehab and when i was like "spill the beans, whats it like asshole bitch" hes like... ... ...blank lol
hes like ill spill some beans when you go there. i guess hes fuckin jealous.

btw i used to take a few lorazepams, a few zopiclones (sleep), a few beers, some weed and 6-12 benadryls almost every night for like four months. phew i guess im lucky.

and thinking your going to feel like a normal person after all that is YOUR WRONG!!!
you are a druggie for life, using or ex, but yes being clean is A LOT more normal and often A LOT better than being dirty.