Well Im in a situation right now that is very hard for me. For a year I have been on this medication called Nardil, which helps with depression and anxiety. It took a little while to kick in but once it did wow It totally lifted my depression and anxiety. For the first time in my life I felt happy. I was chillin with friends, was focused, was very social, and just happy in general. Well I have 2 problems that I need help dealing with
However there has always been this side of me that I feel is the evil of this world tempting me to do wrong, and its been that way since I was a kid. Its like I know its not what I want to do and think about, but sometimes it just overwhelms me. It shows in some of my actions to. When someone talks smart to me I beat em up, I talk shit to people for no apparent reason, I instigate problems between people, and worst of all I rob drug dealers for weed so I can sell it( Im talking weight).I spent time in jail for home invasion. I feel its time to change my ways , and the nardil has helped me be much more respectful to people and also given be a better view of what i need to do to help myself. This leads to the next problem.
Recently I was hospitalized for acting bugged out . I didnt feel I was bugging out. The past 4 days leading up to my hospitalazation I stayed up and not gotten any sleep. Also I was smoking a lot of weed, which doesnt normally bother me but considering I was up for 4 days straight I feel like that wasnt good for my head. When I got to the hospital I tested positive for pcp, which I dont smoke. My guess is someone mixed it with the weed. Well because of this they took away my nardil being that they felt like it contributed to this.
As I was weened of it I noticed a big change in me for the worse. I was getting more depressed by the day and I wasnt socializing anymore. I tried to ask the doctor to put me back on it but she said she wouldnt, because she felt it was not safe. Now I know Nardil is not the safest drug, It has diet restrictions and a lot of other side effects, but its always treated me well. Well now that Im out I have been talking to my psyciatrist( sorry for the spelling) trying to convince her to put me back on it . On the phone she said maybe but not rite away, but then when I had my visit she said no. Shes one of those doctors who kinda just listens to you then repeats what you say in different words. She gives very little useful advice in general.
Well thats it in a nutshell Im very hurt by all this, especially after doing good for so long. Im hoping she gives me the nardil back because its the only med that ever helped me. Im misrable but I have not given up hope. I have faith in God and myself that eventually Il get back to that happy state`i was in for so long, i just keep my faith and keep praying. The Lord has pulled me out of tough times before, so I continue to believe. Sorry this post is long I just needed to get all of this off my chest.
However there has always been this side of me that I feel is the evil of this world tempting me to do wrong, and its been that way since I was a kid. Its like I know its not what I want to do and think about, but sometimes it just overwhelms me. It shows in some of my actions to. When someone talks smart to me I beat em up, I talk shit to people for no apparent reason, I instigate problems between people, and worst of all I rob drug dealers for weed so I can sell it( Im talking weight).I spent time in jail for home invasion. I feel its time to change my ways , and the nardil has helped me be much more respectful to people and also given be a better view of what i need to do to help myself. This leads to the next problem.
Recently I was hospitalized for acting bugged out . I didnt feel I was bugging out. The past 4 days leading up to my hospitalazation I stayed up and not gotten any sleep. Also I was smoking a lot of weed, which doesnt normally bother me but considering I was up for 4 days straight I feel like that wasnt good for my head. When I got to the hospital I tested positive for pcp, which I dont smoke. My guess is someone mixed it with the weed. Well because of this they took away my nardil being that they felt like it contributed to this.
As I was weened of it I noticed a big change in me for the worse. I was getting more depressed by the day and I wasnt socializing anymore. I tried to ask the doctor to put me back on it but she said she wouldnt, because she felt it was not safe. Now I know Nardil is not the safest drug, It has diet restrictions and a lot of other side effects, but its always treated me well. Well now that Im out I have been talking to my psyciatrist( sorry for the spelling) trying to convince her to put me back on it . On the phone she said maybe but not rite away, but then when I had my visit she said no. Shes one of those doctors who kinda just listens to you then repeats what you say in different words. She gives very little useful advice in general.
Well thats it in a nutshell Im very hurt by all this, especially after doing good for so long. Im hoping she gives me the nardil back because its the only med that ever helped me. Im misrable but I have not given up hope. I have faith in God and myself that eventually Il get back to that happy state`i was in for so long, i just keep my faith and keep praying. The Lord has pulled me out of tough times before, so I continue to believe. Sorry this post is long I just needed to get all of this off my chest.
