going back to school... well in the fall.

I'm still not sure how I feel about going to college. I know I should of already been going to school but a lot came up and now its like wow I'm actually going to be going. My mother cried when I enrolled and she was just proud of me. I have to admit I kind of smiled too but it doesn't mean I'm not scared shitless. Honestly I don't even want to go anymore but I know the longer I wait the less likely I will ever go. So I'm going to suck it up and continue on with my education. It will be good for me and no longer will my schedule only consist of working or doing drugs. Ill actually be around kids my age again and hopefully go back to being more social.

However, I still have something in the back of my mind telling me I'm going to fuck this all up and fail. That I'm just going to become a junkie again and end up dead. Well, I know that would probably happen if I screw this all up. Its just so scary to think about school again and I hope it doesn't make me end up committing suicide. Its just I have so much stress in my life and schools going to make it much harder but then if I put it off again who says I'll ever go? Its as if no matter what I do I'm going to be fucked. What to do? What to do?

 

College is awsome the key is when you schedule your classes dont my advice is nothing before noon. Also dont overload yourself the first semester take like 12 hours you dont want to end up with your head under water early. There are far fewer grades in college then high school so doing every assignment and not missing class on test/quiz days is crucial. babe im a junky and I have 44 hours and have been going strong for the last 2 years. You can and will do it if you want it! If you you feel what im saying. Also friendly advice dont mention heroin to anyone people have big mouths and that shit is highly stigmatized but you know that. Anyway your gonna do great!

 

Thank you, makes me feel better the only thing I'm worried about is I have to take morning classes since I have my job still but who knows I might be able to work around that. I just rather be able to close than open at my job. Other than that I'm sure ill do fine *knocks on wood*. I was always a smart kid and did good in school. I just will miss the days where I don't have to do anything haha but I rather not work a shitty job for the rest of my life. Oh and there is no way I'm mentioning heroin to anyone. That would be pretty stupid... Just smoking pot to some people is a huge deal but thanks again for your advice and encouragement.

 

You go for it girl.
There's more to life than wasting your time taking drugs, I know its fun but it's not gonna take you anywhere thats worth going to.
Get to college and enjoy making new friends and new social life you can share with them.
Make yourself and your mum proud. Don't become another drug casualty cos you can have such a bigger & better brighter future for yourself.
Go for it and I wish you all the best.You are a smart girl, too smart to waste your time on drink and drugs.