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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Giving up Crack after 10 years .

Yeah so i was in the middle of a post n got distracted sorry bout that .

So i'll update know.

I still been indulging . Not in a really destructive way but if still enough to distract me from what i should be doing . In all honesty things are better than when i started this thread.

Jspun my friend nice to have your support. You are a stand up guy.

I'm going to Scotland to visit family it has nothing to do with my drug habit . Although where i am going is pretty isolated so i won't be doing anything when i am their . It's a small coastal Town .
My Crack use hasn't been every day for 10 years but i have been using it sporadically for about that time . I've had some pretty big binges over the years .
The amount i use is getting smaller & less often but i still see it as a problem & ultimatley want rid of it .
Thanks Everyone <3
 
%)Brimz, I cherish our friendship as corney as that sounds in any English speaking country you come from. Man you aint fly, yo superfly, and that be da truth=D. Hope the respite in Scotland is advantageous. I hear hagis helps deminish the cravings for base and gear.

Glad to here you cut down. Alot of my smoking career involved coke too. Sometimes proper coked base or crack smoked through brillo pipes or rudimentary coke/ backing soda paste run on foil. (was decent when the coke was of good enough quality to form a decent oil that ran and vaporized into a decent hit. But alot of bunk. It was possible and advantageous to moderate, though quality played an indelible role. So cutting down worked especially as the coca got worse.

Now your gonna be near the coast- borow a board and surf. Prob need a wet suit we don't this time of year. I know you lived for a short stint in CA. Point is it clears your head, and releases endorphins.

Hey is it true what Irving Wa;sh called the people of Glasglow, "Soap Dodgers". I know a few soap dodgers here in California. Good luck, eat well and have a good trip my friend.

Got my Iphone stolen outta my car- got punked like a beach- should have known better to leave it on the seat when 2 tweakers walked by- unlocked, in plain view with a broken window- even if was away 3 minutes. Might share story on EADD gear thread- the "buyer" of the phone txt my wife- by then my phone was a paper weight. Got a friend of a friend that can track phones for a price, But theb what- I break the guys legs. The txter claimed he bought it for $350. I offered $300, b/c it had personal stuff0 replacement with insurance is $200.00. He txted us from another phone because I turned it into a paper weight last night- didn't down load phone finder apps.

He claims he bought it from some guys outside liquir store. My wife kept burning him and txting that he was a piece of shit- she didn't buy his inoscence.

Anyway I got a new I phone delivered tommorow and he or the theif have bad karma- fuckin pricks.

Sorry Brimz- good luck- I know you can do it. Be rooting for you on this side of the pond and be thinking of you as I surf that other pond in my back yard (well 6 whole miles away.) Just wont be leaving phones in my car withoiy iCloud, ect... Atleat t have an excuse not to call my sponsor daily,
 
Fuk i haven't checked in to this thread for almost 6 weeks .

In that time i have had a birthday . I am now the other side of my mid 30s good n proper.

Although my birth age has changed my behaviour hasn't .

By some reckoning i'm only 11 anyway as that was the age i first got real into Drugs & some folks believe that you don't grow mentally when you are using Drugs.

I am not having this myself .

My drug use hasn't changed in any dramatic way since my last post here. Sad but true i'm still on the Crack/Heroin -Speedballs like i have been on n off for so many years .
I have gone up 10ml to 70ml of Methadone a day to try & stop my cravings i'm cynical .
So that's how it is .
 
some folks believe that you don't grow mentally when you are using Drugs.
Click to expand...

QFT! I believe this absolutely. I came out of a seven year heroin habit with all the same shit I went into it with running round my head again now with a load of extra shit on top accumulated through the course of the habit, mainly guilt now I had emotions again. Heroin simplifies things so absolutely to the single purpose of scoring and so completely switches off the emotional life you can't grow. It arrests emotional development I'm sure which is why we find strong emotions so hard to deal with when we come off. Very, very difficult, accounts for a lot of the difficulty trying to stay clean. You don't grow while you're on it I absolutely believe this to be the case Brimz.

Good to see you checking in btw Brimz. Good, bad, or indifferent always good to have the update and see you around the place. :)
 
brimz have you watched this documentary?

it is about another man's long-term crack addiction and i watch it whenever i'm craving weed atm (im on a t-break)

it is very interesting material/footage so you should enjoy watching it

maybe it will give you the drive to clear your head as well? best wishes
 
I nearly slipped up a couple nights ago because I had some extra cash plus being depressed. I was thinking if I cold just score a little how good that first hit's gonna feel. I deleted all my drug contacts long ago but thought I could easily drive into the hood. Naw, I shouldn't do this. Go back to watching tv and ten minutes later decided to get dressed, take my money and go for it. I just got this feeling something bad might happen like getting busted. The old me had no trouble doing this at 3-4 am.
As I'm typing this, my sister's out scoring for her boyfriend. I made her promise to call me when she got home safe. She has to go trickin to get money then walk through Little Haiti to score. There's no white people down there and super sketchy, I mean lots of black guys won't cross a certain bridge with turf wars and maybe they leave her alone just because she's a chick.

Oh good, she just texted me she's home. I'm glad I didn't get high the other night. I just keep telling myself how shitty it's going to feel afterwards. That keeps me grounded in a sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is the drugs are a sneaky fuck. I've been without for so long and then -blam- something taps me on the shoulder telling me just do it this one time. Gotta tell myself NO I can't do this anymore. No matter how bored or depressed I feel, with a little money in my pocket triggers me to want to use again.

Be strong Brimz and eventually you will get there. I can't say with any certainty that I'll not cave in and get high again. Just for now they're not on the menu. I have to keep telling myself that and it's not easy.
 
post back what you thought of the doco, its my favourite documentary of all time (incl. non-drug related)

also let us know how your getting on, even if your struggling
 
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