• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Girlfriend & redflags

R

Roughgems

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 14, 2016
Messages
4
recently left a long term relationship/marriage after discovering my Ex had been secretly watching and indulging in lesbian porn. She admitted that she was bi sexual for a large part of our marriage and that she felt confused by her sexuality. Prior to leaving her I got chatting to a gal online. We eventually met up and the inevitable happened. We have a lot in common and have been seeing each other on and off for 2 years now. She never married and has no kids.We get on really well and have become really attached. She wants me to sell my flat and move into hers, but something just doesn't seem right. I have had a couple of red flag moments with her and I'm just unsure what to do for the best. The first one happened when I introduced her to a friend of mine while on holiday. We all had a bit to drink and she insisted on snogging him in front of me, albeit briefly. The next day she down played it and put it down to the drink and some light hearted banter. I will admit that she is very sexually experienced compared to my vanilla marraige and tries to dominate me in the bed room in a fun way.

On another occasion she opened up about her past and explained that she only had 5 partners before me 3 had been married and two were single guys, one of whom turned out to be gay. She said that she moved in with the gay guy before he told her about his sexuality. She said he had a very small penis and that she managed the best she could but loved him. During the conversation I asked her about how her other partners were in comparison to the gay guy. She could have floored me when she stated that her first love before the gay guy and her third boyfriend were massively well endowed. So much so that she could not fit them in during certain positions. I have to admit I was taken aback by her honesty and tried to play it cool. I said to her that I always wanted to see my partner sexually fulfilled by a very well endowed guy. She just quipped, as pleasureable as a huge big cock is, it can be very painfull also.

There was another two minor red flag occasions with my girlfriend. One of them was in her local pub. When a drunk guy tried to chat her up. She had a few drinks herself and did nothing to put the guy off. Eventully he attracted the rest of his company over to our group. Later that evening they tried to get us back to theirs for a party. My GF was up for it but her sister grabbed her into her taxi and that put paid to that. Another time at a concert when I was coming back from the toilet I went to ask her if she wanted a drink from the bar, she was surrounded by a bunch of guys whom were manhandling her and she was actively enjoying herself until she saw me. I went to the bar and came back and she had returned to our original place. She went all quiet and sheepish and made up some story about the guys wanting her to take their pic.

Those minor things aside, she is fun to be with. I just have this wee niggling doubt about her. Maybe I just need to stay single and get out more. Maybe I am just looking for excuses to end things.

What do you folks think ?
Roughgems
Just Landed
Just Landed

Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:48 am
 
If you're not sure, ask her! Ask her if she wants a monogamous relationship, or something more open, and state your wishes clearly. It sounds like you want it to be all about you and her, which is fine, but you need to make it known that physical contact with other men is not OK if you're going to be together.

IMO Alcohol (or any drug for that matter) is NO EXCUSE for being unfaithful. If one considers themselves an adult, and knows how to take responsibility for their actions, then they know only a fifteen year old has a few drinks and can't control their libido. If it's agreed that you're in a monogamous relationship, that means it's HER and YOU and no one else. No sneaky snogs, no being manhandled by strangers. Honestly dude, those seem like minor red flags now, but what they tell me is there's a chance you find out one day she's cheated on you. Based on the description of her in your post, she'd probably start blubbering about how sorry she is and how she didn't know what she was doing because she'd had to much to drink (or some similar bullshit excuse.)

Then again, there's a chance you're exaggerating everything a little too much in your head because you have strong feelings for her. Trust me, I know what that's like too. I really think you need to communicate a little more, is all.

Good luck friend.
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the feed back...Will keep an eye on things to see how they develop.
Just don't know how to play this one.
Anybody else been In this type of situation ?
 
I think she is just a free spirited person and gets caught up in things. She probably would cheat on you under the right circumstances. Talk to her about it. If you can't talk to her about it what do you have anyway?
 
So guys if your new partner told you that she had 5 partners and two of those were very very well endowed.
How would you have dealt with it, knowing that one of them was her first love and the other stays very local to her.....Ladies have you ever had a vvwe guy and started dating a new guy wishing he was as big as your other guy ?
 
^ it honestly depends on what she wants out of the relationship. Sex is only one part. And even then, size doesn't always matter (unless you got 2 inches), it's more about how you use what you got ;)
 
Just keep your flat and make up some shit about needing room to work or something.

Moving in to fast is a mistake I made many times mainly cuz I tried to date my way out of problems and I am a man but yeah the last one I lived with was a Scientologist.

Two things your gut is usually right.

Also you really need to tell her you would like to take things slower, she might like that given her inexperience.

Personally I wouldn't casually date a woman who had so few partners in the past unless at the very least knowing what she brings to the table. She might have been taught well or she might ramble about the five guys she screwed in the past forever.

I wouldn't care if someone bought my girl drinks but would decline the after party. That being said even seasoned drinkers make some mistakes while drunk.

I blame what I don't remember on alcohol but I am not a bad drinker. I just say dumb shit at times and shouldn't use the telephone.
 
Thats so true. I have managed to cope with the revalation. I have even used it to help turn me on whilst we get down to sex.
I have to admit it kinda turned me on in a sexy perverted way...lol
Am I strange For thinking that way?

Roughgems
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top